a g.i. joe accident

G.I. Joe was one of the best cartoons to me when I was a kid. It's in a heated race with Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos for best cartoon ever in my mind. G.I. Joe should be glad I put it in a foot race, because if I entered them into a cage match to determine the best cartoon ever, Karate Kommandos would obviously win.

One edge that G.I. Joe has on Karate Kommandos is that they never sold KK underwear. I guess it's creepy to have the cartoon image of a real man on boys underwear. Maybe that's why they never made them. G.I. Joe, however, threw its hat into the underwear ring. I definitely had a few pairs of those bad boys when I was in kindergarten. They were all the same pattern, but the elastic bands were different colors: one pair had blue, one had red, and one had Army green.

The G.I. Joe underwear was of great importance to me. I actually remember that, as a young child, I had an accident in the aforementioned green banded undies. I remember being traumatized. I wasn't even upset about the accident, though. I was upset about the G.I. Joe underwear. They were more important to me than my very dignity. It was my favorite pair. So it is with great anticipation and anxiety that I await the release of the new G.I. Joe movie. I hope I can make it through it without crying a tear of loss for that wonderful pair of undies from my past.

And now you know, and knowing is half the battle.