pride and prejudice

I will never forget something that happened just a few days after I started dating Sarah. The day was Sunday, February 6, 2000 (yes, I'm a dates freak). We had just gotten back to the church from lunch at Wendy's. She had forgotten something in her car, so the two of us walked back to her car alone. She looked down at a sheet of ice, said, "Ooh, a puddle!," stepped on it, and fell flat on her back. My mind moved very quickly. I was going to catch her, when I realized that I might accidentally touch her somewhere I shouldn't, so I let her fall. After all, I couldn't risk my testimony. Being the kind gentleman that I was, I made sure to help her up right away. I was so nice. I didn't tell Sarah for a long time...sometime after she had already married me.

Sometimes guarding our testimonies seems more like a prideful venture than a spiritual discipline. We love to tout our testimonies like badges of honor amongst our Christian friends, and somehow we think that our precise level of holiness will draw more people to Christ. Of course, being around the people that need Him the most might hurt our testimonies, so we tend to avoid them. We can't be seen hanging around the places they hang out, because Christians don't go certain places. That's a sweet way to influence them.

Have you ever been asked the rhetorical question: "Well, would you go to a bar to try to witness to the people inside?" I have. It's inevitably followed by, "Of course not, because it's not worth hurting your testimony." For some reason, I got to thinking on my way home from grocery shopping tonight, and I came to this conclusion: my testimony just might not hold the same value as a lost soul. Jesus was condemned for going to the most unexpected places and spending time with the worst of sinners. He had a conversation with a loose Samaritan woman whose lifestyle preceded her, touched the unclean, and even had dinner with publicans in one of THEIR houses. the religious people had a hay day with Him. His testimony with them must have been awful. But He was so humble that He didn't care. He only cared about two things: glorifying His Father and reaching the lost RIGHT WHERE THEY WERE so that He could save them.

Maybe we should stop hiding our pride behind the mask of a testimony and start loving lost souls more than our own reputation. We're letting people fall, because we are afraid of looking inappropriate...only these people aren't landing on the ice of a church parking lot. They're landing in hell.

pharisees

Pharisees were some of the most religious and most condemned people mentioned in the New Testament. Thanks to Jeff C, I know that pharisee means "set apart." How did I make it through Bible college without learning that? To be set apart is a good thing, but not at the risk of spiritual well being of others. There were enough laws in the Old Testament to keep any Jew busy. The additional regulations stipulated by the religious crowd made being a "good Jew" almost unattainable.

I have sat in church all my life and heard the Jews railed on for various things. Allow me to interview you. I already know the answers, so I'll answer for you. Do Christians ever lack faith? Yes. Do they ever struggled with the same sin over and over? Have they become so religious that the world feels intimidated by the rules they have in place? YES! Knowing that most Christians do not embrace change or radical thought, do you really think that most Christians would have accepted Jesus when He walked the earth? Yeah, I doubt it, too.

Yes, the Bible does say to "come out from among them and be separate," but let's face it, we've exceeded the words of the Bible in defining separate. How Pharisaical. Ever considered what Jesus had to say about Pharisees? Jesus calls them hypocrites 7 times in Matthew 23, not to mention calling them fools, vipers, and asking them how they expect to escape Hell. I guess He wasn't too high on these guys. Their appearance meant little to Christ, because He didn't want their outward appearance. He wanted their hearts.

The church is full of Pharisees. Don't tell anyone, but I think I was one for a long time. I had my own personal code that I added to the Bible to gauge spirituality. I was just trying to set myselph apart, but to what cost? I watered down my effectiveness to reach people, because I made Christianity look like an impossible religion, when it has always been about a relationship with a Father Who LOVES His children.

Deer Batman...

Compelled by jealousy, I begged Sarah to go see the Dark Knight with me at the midnight showing last night. I had to see it, because I had friends who got to go at midnight. It wouldn't be fair if I didn't get the same thing, right? I quit asking after about 5 no's, but out of the blue, she decided we should go. Hooray Sarah! So off we went. The best part of the movie was when the reel melted during the first preview. It just bubbled from the middle and exploded out, and you could see it happening on the big screen. It was so cool looking...to me, anyway. Of course, I had Sarah there to talk to. All of the comic book reading, no girlfriend, lack of deodorant guys were freaking out just a little bit. It took them about 20 minutes to get it fixed, and they never even sent in a manager to calm these geeks down. I thought it was going to be mass pandemonium. But everything was fixed, the movie played, and they still didn't have girlfriends. Order had been restored. Well, except that one guy was still dressed like the Joker.

On the way to and from the theater (in Woo-town), we saw so many deer standing along the road. The count on the way to the theater was 10. I don't remember the count on the way home. I remember one deer. We came around a corner and she was just standing on our side of the road, looking across the street. Sarah had to hit the brakes, and we narrowly missed her...by ten feet. The deer never moved, though. She just stared straight on, almost oblivious to the impending doom. Finally, when we came to a stop (and it would have been too late for her if we hadn't), she turned and ran back into the tall grass. Deer are stupid. They don't look both ways. They just go in the road.

People are stupid, too. Haven't you ever had tunnel vision? You stare straight ahead, and have no idea about the chaos and danger coming from your blind side. I have focused so hard on certain things in life, ignoring everything else, that I've been hit hard. I never saw it coming. To be honest, Sarah's being miserable earlier in the year caught me like a sucker punch right to the...(insert the body part you think would make that statement the funniest). Why? Because I was too focused on what I was doing, what I needed to get done, and what I wanted to accomplish that I never took the time to stop and see what life was doing to her. I should have looked both ways before making some of the decisions that I had made. It would have saved a lot of hurt for her. Fortunately, my wife is pretty much the most awesome person ever, so she forgave me, but she shouldn't have had to. Did I mention that I love her?

old habits

I am sorry to burst your bubble, but I will not be posting on bad habits that I've struggled with for a long time. Maybe the title is a little misleading. Instead, I'm posting on the habits I have that are like that of an old man. Yes, it's true, I am very mature for my age. I take naps often, and I even eat dinner before 5:00 PM sometimes. If it makes you feel any better, I do have a real struggle with biting my finger nails and not being serious at inappropriate times. There, my bad old habits that I actually don't mind having.

Here I am, in Canton, OH, acting like an elderly man in the mall. I started out mall walking, but I saw a man working on his macbook. I asked if he was getting free wireless here, and he was, so I thought I'd go get my laptop at some point. Then I was passed by an elderly lady who looked like she may have scoliosis. My pride was bruised, and I gave up my exercise plan. Some point became right away, as I went and retrieved my computer from the car. Now I'm sitting on a couch typing away. By the way, two people at the top of my list (Grandma and Grandpa) are prolific mall walkers, so I'm not knocking it...I just can't keep up.

Now, working on a laptop in the mall is not something most older people do. I was distracted, however, by the two elderly men that joined me on the couch. They were talking about back aches, surgeries, and life's adventures. Next thing you know, I get drawn into their conversation. I can't help myselph. I was asked one question, "what are you doing," and BOOM...I was sucked in for 30 minutes. Talking to a total stranger. Turns out he was a pastor of a Mennonite church at one point. Talking to him was interesting. He grew up an Amish boy in the Pennsylvania Dutch region. Turns out reading his Bible got him out of that. He couldn't get down with their beliefs, which he called "hogwash." I guess the Amish refuse to take communion, and that was one of the last straws for him.

Well, I should go. There's a bingo tourny at the other end of the mall, and there will no doubt be some hot sixty somethings. Time to go party like it's 1959.

WHAT iS FAiTH??

this cut is written by Sarah. I stole it from her myspace. Enjoy.
......................
one does a lot of thinking at 3 in the morning [no one tell my Gampa that I was up this late...]

I was thinking of how I wish I had a Fun Size Snickers (why aren't the King Sized ones the Fun Size ones?? is it b/c there's nothing fun about 1,000 calories in something that's smaller than most TV remotes??)

... and I was also thinking about how God has a reason for everything.

that I know that He has a reason for everything.

but that when things get stressful and a bit saddening, I forget to have FAiTH and I go into what-can-I-do-to-hurry-God's-will-along mode.

don't get me wrong, I believe that one must be pro-active in God's will - since He can't complete His will for our lives w/o us...

but we need to have FAiTH that He will take care of those who love Him.

I get caught up in this thought flight pattern of "well, I know God CAN do such-&-such, but I don't know if He WiLL". and I fly around in that for awhile, assuaging myself in the thought that God can do anything [especially in thoughts pertaining to my healing].

....*DUH*....

I think EVERYONE knows that God CAN do anything. but only His children believe that He WiLL.

since we moved here, I've been speed-dating jobs.
the first one, I left for moral reasons.
the second one, I'm having to leave b/c I was not fully informed of all my job duties and it turns out I can't physically do them all. [being so, I'm only getting 9ish hours/week...]

boo.

so I'm waiting to hear s o m e t h i n g from a n y o n e about a job. I'm working now... but at $7/hr at 9 hours a week.. that's barely enough to pay utilities.
I've applied for a giant's handful of jobs, but none of them have responded with anything but "thanks for applying, we'll keep your resume on file..." file 13, was it?....

and I was thinking,

God's sustaining us w/enough money from Jeff's paycheck... from the small job I have now... and from the short-lived job I had before....

so He's taking care of us.
He wouldn't leave us.

it's just : "NOT YET"

and I'm sure that every job that's come along so far has been "NO" b/c it hasn't been the right job.

not the one He wants me to have.

so I'm getting

discouraged
sad
worried
and doubtful that I'll be able to get a job that I'll like.

instead of having FAiTH that God will give me the job that He wants me to have.

and I think "yea - I have FAiTH! I know You'll provide me a job soon!!"
but sometimes it's hard for me do discern between FAiTH, and confidence b/c I want a certain thing so bad I make it real.

and then it's weird... b/c in those moments, you realize that God DOES know our hearts better than we do.

it's those days,

when : I finally realize that I've been a butthead and, instead of walking BESiDE God, I try to walk ahead of Him b/c I think He's not walking fast enough.

when : I remember that

FAiTH iS NOT BELiEViNG THAT GOD CAN, iT'S KNOWiNG THAT HE WiLL.

deliberate.

Life is full of all kinds of accidents. I've been in a car accident. People lose limbs in freak accidents. If you ask my parents, I'm an accident (so is Dan), but I like to consider myselph more like a surprise party thrown by God than an accident. That's what gets me through my day, anyway.

One thing that has never happened accidentally is greatness. Great things may happen by accident (like a surprise party thrown by God), but true greatness is always the result of purpose. For example, a great church (or any other organization) does not become great by luck or chance. Its greatness is soaked in the sweat of those that God used to lay the foundation. Hard work and discipline are key ingredients to any success story.

Individual greatness isn't the product of luck, either. Are great leaders born? Everyday. But not every born leader will live up to his potential. It's a matter of choosing to deliberately hone one's leadership ability. The best advice I have is to shut up and listen to someone wiser than you. That's from someone on the learning side of things, and you can imagine how hard that is for a prolix guy like myselph.

By the way, great Christians are deliberate people, too. We are as close to God as we want to be. So where do you want to be?

nickel-plated patriotism

As a Detroit Red Wings fan, I am very familiar with fair weathered fans. Most people assume a fair weathered fan is a someone who switches loyalties with the changing tides. That is definitely part of it, but that's not entirely how I view it. I hate the Red Wings "fans" who start following them as soon as the playoffs start. They couldn't care less about the team all year, but once they're vying for the Cup, these chumps come out of the wood works. Oy.

Patriotism is much the same way. Rewind to September 12, 2001. Everyone was flying American flags, praying for our troops, and standing behind our country. It was trendy. People even loved President Bush. This is nickel plated patriotism. It sure looked good from the outside, but inside, it was worthless, false, and ready to be broken. Thanks to a number of outside forces (idiots), no one seems to support our country anymore. The troops are ripped in the media, the President has his lowest approval rating yet (by the way, every politicians approval rating is directly related to the media coverage he/she receives...I don't like everything the President has done, but I dont' think he's done as badly as CNN wants you to think...does anyone even know we are winning the war on terror, found WMDs in Iraq, and are liberating people around the world?), and we have people running for the very office of President who aren't even sure they're proud to be Americans. What the crap? This is set to be the most depressing election I've been able to be a part of.

Christians are just like fans and Americans. We're all about Jesus when things are going good, aren't we? As long as we have everything we need and want, there's nothing anyone can do to get us down. We also stand up when we're attacked. The Davinci Code becomes a big deal, and 100 books debunking the FICTION NOVEL are released defending the deity of Jesus. Billions of years is shoved down the throats of our kids, and we open a Creation Museum. But what do we do when the floor falls out from under us and we hit rock bottom? What happens when we can't do the things we want to, pay the bills we've acquired, or keep up with the Jones? We start to question God. He must not be listening if I can't have everything I want. Where did He go? God's approval rating always takes a hit when we're not feeling spoiled. Shameful, isn't it?

Support your team, even if they suck. Support your country, even if it's not exactly like you want it. And by all means, support your God, even when times are tough. Anything less would be uncivilized. Happy 4th of July (yes, I'm late). Good night now!