God doesn't love gossip

This is the 2nd and last week in our Crazy Love series. This week, we actually tackled the idea of how much God hates gossip and badmouthing other Christians.

When my siblings and I were younger, we would sometimes get upset with each other - it was only sometimes, not often, right, Mom? - and when we did, we would really throw down the insults. The Selphs are prolific insulters, so it got kind of rough sometimes. When we would go after each other, it would break my mom's heart. Sometimes it would make her cry. She couldn't stand the idea of one of her children insulting another one.

Imagine how God feels when we insult his children? We looked at a lot of verses to give us a better idea about that. Here are the list of verses we used to discuss this: Romans 1:28-30, 1 Timothy 5:13, and Proverbs 20:19. I didn't read the verses, but I did teach the proper approach to handling problems with other Christians - which doesn't include gossiping about your beef with them - from Matthew 18:15-19. Then, we talked about how we should be talking, especially about our fellow Christians. For that, we looked at Ephesians 4:29-30.

All in all, I think the lesson was a gut check for a lot of us, including me, and probably the rest of our leaders. My only regret is that I forgot to mention one of the most popular ways of spreading gossip: "prayer requests." Oh well. I'll get to it next time.

Main Scripture Passage
see above

Attendance
Students: 37
Adult Leaders: 12

Game/Activity
Since we were talking about the proper way to love our fellow Christians, we played, "Do you love your neighbor?"

the real hamburglar

Events in the office last week - events I happen to find mildly amusing - have reminded me of a great story from my very first job: Burger King. You see, last week, a mystery person came into our church outside of our business hours, messed with some ceiling tiles near the office, and left with nary a trace. A big investigation by KCC's own Scooby Doo Detective Agency ensued, but with little to no forensic evidence, a culprit has not been identified. Since the person had a key to get in the building, one must assume it was an inside job, even though no one has concluded what that job was.

I know of at least one other time a perp has not been identified at a place I was working. I was scheduled to work at Burger King at 6:30 AM on a Saturday morning when I was 16. I walked to work, which I usually did, because it was just down the road. My manager's car was in the parking lot when I got there, so I knocked on the door. She didn't come, so I knocked louder. I walked around the building, because she was a chain smoker, and even though she would have only been there for 5 minutes or so, the chances that she was out back smoking were pretty good. She wasn't there, though. I went over to the the drive thru window and pulled on it; it opened. I immediately heard some weird hum. I called inside for her, but she still didn't answer. I was about to climb in through the drive thru window when the alarm went off. I did what any other 16 year old boy would do: I ran off.

I ran across the street to 7-11, and being the pop addict that my dad is, he just happened to show up. He asked why I wasn't at work, I told him, and he agreed to drive me back. There were two cop cars there, and by then my manager really had shown up. I didn't say a word, because my boss was very angry. The closing crew got a pretty good chewing out for leaving the drive thru window unlocked. My manager constantly complained about that day and the $75 it cost for the alarm going off, and she always said that she wished she knew who was responsible, so she could fire them. She meant if she knew which night person was responsible for locking the window, she would fire that person, but I had a pretty good feeling that if I had admitted it was me, I would have been fired. So I let it remain a mystery. I worked there for another year, all the while having to listen to theories on the hamburglar, what his purpose was, why nothing was missing, and how good it was that the alarm scared him off.

I may be the mystery hamburglar, but it wasn't me last week. I'm too short to reach up to the ceiling tiles near the office.

God crazy loves us

Last night we talked about God's crazy love for us. The concept for the lesson is from Francis Chan's book Crazy Love. We talked about the three kinds of love talked about in the Bible (Eros, Philos, and Agape), what that looked like, and how it's expressed.

I spent some time talking about Jakob. I started by showing that video above, because we talked about how God loves us as a father. It was cool hearing what characteristics the students felt would make a father awesome, and how those great characteristics were good descriptive words for God. I compared what it is like to have grown to love Sarah with an unconditional love, versus unconditionally loving Jakob based merely on his existence. I explained that this is how God loves us. He loves us unconditionally, despite our being unlovable at times.

The climax of the message started with me telling the story of my dad and a teenager in our church. This kid came up behind Dan and sucker punched him right in the face, taking him quickly. Did Dan deserve it? Mostly. My dad didn't care, though. He went after Jimmy, put him on the ground, and held him there until he was able to explain the pros and cons of attacking my dad's kids, especially with a punk move like that. My dad doesn't have the capacity to watch someone hurt his children. I was asked if I would attack someone for Jakob. Of course, the answer is yes, but I do hope the opportunity never arises. We agreed that this was a good instance of my dad losing his mind, but I explained that I felt it was okay. He only went crazy, because he crazy loves his kids.

I followed that story with this: "Now, imagine how God must have felt. He sent His Son, Jesus, to save us. They punched him in the face. They mocked Him. They whipped Him. They called Him a liar. They spit in His face. God sat there and watched that. He didn’t intercede for Jesus, because of His unconditional love for you, me, and everybody. He didn’t intercede, because He loved people who would still reject Him. He did it because He loved people that would accept Him, but continually let Him down. Wouldn't you think that He would intercede for the one He loved most? (many mumbled a yes). Well, that person He loves most is you, and so He couldn't intercede."

We reflected on God's crazy love for us, and how that should compel us to return His love by the way we seek Him and live our lives. Next week we're going to look more specifically at how God's love for us should lead us to love Him back, and in doing so, show unconditional love for His other kids.

Main Scripture Passage
Matthew 7:11

Attendance
Students: 34
Adult Leaders: 14

Game/Activity

We did not have a game. We started with an awesome video made by Dan Sherman. I will get it uploaded soon. It was a video of the song It's Love, by King X, with lyrics and cool video clips of our YG. Then the new youth band played "How He Loves." It was amazing. I have heard the song by three different groups lately, and our kids outplayed and out sang all three. Am I being bias? No, but I would be if I had to be.

treat and retreat

I love my job. Have I ever told you that? I really do. I think it is tied for best job ever with being a stay at home mom to Jakob. God must loves the Selphs a lot, since He gave Sarah and me the two best jobs ever.

Last Friday and the Friday before that, I had the opportunity to go to Bair Lake Bible Camp for Winter Retreats with students from our church. Both were awesome opportunities for me to grow closer to God and to my YG students. There were a lot of pictures taken, and instead of spending hours making my own video, I had animoto take my pictures and make a great video out of them.

Here is the junior high weekend recap:



And here is the senior high weekend recap:



Treat and retreat were on a boat. Treat fell off. Who was left.

Dang. That didn't work.

Hear No Evil got me invited to church

When Sarah and I were out to lunch last Tuesday, I was telling her about several portions of the book Hear No Evil,* by Matthew Paul Turner, that I felt I related to. I talked a lot about how I felt in my youth group growing up, because I happened to enjoy music that didn't put me to sleep, and how I hated feeling judged for that by many of my youth leaders. After talking back and forth for ten minutes about different chapters in the book, a lady apologized for eavesdropping and invited us to give her church a chance. I smiled and politely told her that I was actually a youth and children's pastor. She seemed a little surprised, I guess. I thought, "Wow! Am I really that far gone? Have I changed that much from when I was a super religious Christian?" Then I thanked God that it seemed to be the case. We chatted a little bit about church, and then she went back to listening to my conversation with Sarah.

It had been a very long time since I've read a book in two days. Then I received Hear No Evil in the mail last Monday. Before I went to bed Tuesday, the roughly 230 pages in the book had been read. I read it in most of my free time, and when I wasn't reading it, I was telling Sarah about what I had read and how much I identified with it. It is Matthew's story of growing up in a strict Baptist environment, the musical boundaries that exist in such an environment, and his growing through those times, with the help of the Holy Spirit and music, into who he is now.

I really enjoyed the book. I really encourage anyone to read it. I have never enjoyed a non-fiction book so much. If you have come from a conservative religious background, and you now feel more free in Christ than ever before, I really encourage you to read it. If for nothing else, so that you can be reminded of where you came from. It is being released today. To order your copy, click the link at the top of this post. Tell them Jeff Selph sent you. It won't do you any good, but it sounds cool to me.

* This book was provided for review by the WatterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

you can't have Jakob

i was holding Jakob the other day, and got a bit choked up thinking about how much i love him. how precious he is, how innocent he is, and how sweet his heart is. about what he'll be when he's older; how he can only improve in character, beauty and personality. Jeff and i both love him so much. life is just so much better, so much more blessed with him in our lives.
and then i thought about Jesus. about how precious, innocent and sweet His heart is to His Father. how, just as Jakob is our only child, He was God's only child.
then i was saddened to think about losing Jakob. and, since i try to remove myself as far as possible from the aforementioned thought, i was also quite saddened to think about God losing His one and only Son. who was sent to spread His Father's love and save us all from eternal damnation. God sent Him knowing that His life on earth would present challenges and intense pain. but His love extended so far to us, that He was willing to share His only Son with us. knowing that it would end in a brutal, unimaginable death. but He also knew Jesus was strong enough to endure and stay faithful. and that He would do so with a servant's heart. because His heart's desire was that of His Father's. when the time came for Him to give His life, He went willingly. knowing that it meant His Father would have to turn His face from Him, as He would take on the world's sin. the sin of those who hated Him, and the ones to come who would not believe.

i am not as willing as God. it breaks my heart to think of him in the position Christ was in. there is no one in the world that i would give his life for. including those i love. it may sound harsh, but it's the truth. (come on. you can't be that hurt; those who love him wouldn't want that anyway.) when i look at his face, watch him sleep, am embraced in his hugs, i couldn't imagine sacrificing him for anything. now that i'm a mother, it occurs to me how truly special God's gift, His only Son, is. how much praise and adoration He deserves. and how thankful we should truly be for God's love for us. because to ask any man to give his son (or daughter), is unthinkable.

only one of innumerable reasons why God is God and i am not.

to save a life, overcoming depression, and American Idol

This week at youth group, we reviewed the movie To Save a Life, which happens to be the only Christian movie I like. Actually, The Buttercream Gang holds a special place in my heart. Before we got started with the lesson, we had a few announcements, including this video about our upcoming American Idol Lip Sync Contest.



I really couldn't go right on to teaching after this, so we took a food break. When we came back, we started reviewing the movie for a few minutes. We got right to the good part, though, which involved Jared Heighton coming up and talking a little about his depression. It went something like this.



I am very blessed with the youth leadership team God has given me. For one of them to get up and be so open about something that is pretty hard to talk about is huge. It really allows the students to connect with their leaders in a new way.

God bless America. Flipdoodle!

you rock me like a hurricane

Ten years ago, my life changed for the better. I went from the nerdy kid without a girlfriend to the nerdy kid with a girlfriend he didn't deserve, who would ultimately become the wife I don't deserve. The beginning of our story is a little weird, mostly because I was involved, and I was afraid of girls, especially girls that were out of my league, like Sarah.

I didn't have the chutzpah to ask Sarah out straight up, so I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie, as friends of course. She agreed, because she already liked me. So I show up to her house on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - early - to take her to see the movie Hurricane, starring Denzel Washington. When I got there, Sarah gave me a poem she wrote for me. I should share it with you, but I won't. Not today, anyway. Maybe in the future. I will tell the you point of the point of the poem, though. Basically, it said, "Jeff, I like you, and I want to be your girlfriend." Sarah's never been that subtle. So I should have asked her to be my girlfriend right then and there, but I didn't. It was only 4:00 PM, and I wasn't ready.

At the movie theater, I bought her a grapefruit juice and some popcorn. I got an orange juice. I didn't drink pop back then, and I actually dreamed the night before that she convinced me to drink pop at the movie and it made me really sick. That dream did eventually come true after we were married. Every time I wanted popcorn, I would make sure her hand was clear, because I'd seen Saved by the Bell a lot, and I knew that would turn out to be really awkward.

After the movie, I was taking her back home - I still hadn't asked her out - and I asked if we could stop at the mall, so we could hang out longer. We stayed there for 2 hours, till it was almost closed, talking on one of the couches. Two hours of talking, and I never mustered the courage to ask her, and her curfew was 30 minutes away.

We got back in the car. It had started snowing pretty heavily while we were in there. We drove up the road to her parents' house. It sneaked up on me, though. I could have stopped, but I kind of missed the driveway on purpose. I didn't want to spin out and freak her out, after all. So we drive around the corner, so I can turn around - the truth is that I was stalling, to try to get myself to ask her out. So we turn around in this subdivision that was unfinished. I pointed down a road and told her I didn't want to turn around down there, because it looked pretty bad, and I didn't want to get stuck. I wouldn't want people to think we were making out. That preceded an awkward silence. We drove pretty much in silence back to her house. I didn't miss the driveway this time.

We sat in her driveway for a few minutes, making small talk. She said she had to go, and as she reached for the door handle, I blurted out, "Wait, I have to ask you something." Now, I'm not as smooth as Rod Kimble, so I couldn't come up with a question on the fly like him. I only had one thing I could ask her. Instead, I started making smooth statements. Here was our conversation:

Me: Sarah, I like you.
Sarah: I like you, too.
Me: No, I mean I really like you. (I'm not sure if I thought she was dumb or my words were confusing, or what, because I think she understood what I meant.)
Sarah: I really like you, too.
Me: Oh, okay, well, I was wondering if you would like to be my girlfriend.
Sarah: Sure. (She rarely says yes, you see. It's always sure or I guess so. Sure is a more certain answer than I guess so.)
Me: Cool. I was wondering if I could just touch your hair, because it's really pretty. (Yes, that creepy statement was what I followed up asking her to be my girlfriend with).
Sarah: Sure.

So I patted the back of her head like she was a dog. Five hours after I initially got to her house - four hours and forty-five minutes after she gave me a poem basically stating that she wanted to be my girlfriend - I asked her out, and she said yes. She got out of the car, walked inside, and began her journey down a dark path that would change her life forever. It changed mine. It's been getting better for 3,653 straight days.

Tonight, I'll recreate that date. I'm stopping after work to rent Hurricane, even though neither of us really like that movie anymore. I'll also be getting her a grapefruit juice and a bucket of popcorn. I might even tell her that I really like her, but I'll probably wait five hours from the start of our date.