it's not easy being Japanese, especially when you are not

I'm surprised I haven't blogged in depth about one of the funniest moments in my marriage.  I just checked, and it's not there.  I mentioned it once in passing, but that does not do the moment justice.  The moment happened in the opening minutes of our marriage.  But first, the prologue.

On March 5, 1982, Park, Sun Hwa was born in Seoul, South Korea.  She was a cute baby.  She's still cute.  On July 14, 1982, she was adopted by Jerry and Judy Van Solkema, and her name was changed to Sarah Joy.  She's been Korean all of her life.  Her birth certificate and her naturalization papers both attest to this fact.  There is video evidence to the contrary, though.

We were sitting on our cool first couch - a futon that was incredibly uncomfortable but, by the grace of God, fell apart in just under a year - in our first apartment, and we were watching our wedding tape.  The tape was started about 15 minutes before the service, and it captured people being ushered in and sitting down.  It was a boring static shot of the auditorium.  It was boring, but it was accurate.  I guess the camera guy was bored, too, because he started panning around the auditorium.  He was getting side aisles where people were sneaking in, zooming in and out on the stage decor, and then something else caught his eye: flags.  I grew up in a Baptist church that is really big on supporting missionaries.  For every country that has a missionary supported by the church in it, there is a flag for that country around the top of the auditorium.  It really is cool to see how many countries are represented.  One country they have a missionary in is Korea.  I guess a shot of a Korean flag would have been pretty cool, since Sarah was born there.

You know what's more awesome than a shot of a Korean flag on the wedding video of a lady born in Korea?  You guessed it: a shot of a Japanese flag.  I remember watching the video for the first time.  I saw the flag, and I smirked a little bit, but I was cautious to show how funny I thought it was.  I worried that Sarah would be really upset.  Maybe she'd cry.  I looked over at her, and I saw the fiery look of an angry Athena staring holes in our TV.  I learned at that moment that when most women would get teared up, choked up, and sniffly, Sarah wanted to go to war.  I was more amused by her reaction, but I dared not show it for a couple of years.

I waited almost a year to bring it up.  She was high on morphine (in the hospital, mind you).  She laughed.  It's been funny ever since.  She'll never hear the end of it, either.  It's a running joke that she cannot outrun.  The only way for her to forget would be for me to die, but if Charles is still alive, he'll surely remind her at my funeral.  That reminds me.  Could someone be sure to get a shot of a Canadian flag at my funeral?  You know, cause Americans and Canadians are pretty much the same thing.

dropping off the face of the earth

Some people call it a Sabbath.  Others call it comp time.  I call it dropping off the face of the earth.

On Saturday, June 26, I got on a bus and left our church at 6:56 PM (4 minutes ahead of schedule).  I went and had an awesome time with my WC homies, both from my church and from my crew, on the Chippewa Indian reservation in Red Lake, MN.  I didn't return again until Saturday, July 3, at 8:58 PM (32 minutes ahead of schedule).  That's exactly 7 full days, two hours, and two minutes (or 170 hours and 2 minutes).  It was the best week I have ever had at camp, counting time as a young child, as a teenager, and as an adult.  I will tip my hat to Group, because their camp is the best I've experienced.

Despite my concerns going into the week, I was not miserable without Sarah and Jakob.   I did miss them (like a boss), but God honored my only family request going into the week: don't let me miss them so much it hurts.  I knew I would have a ton of fun during the day, but I worried about my ability to sleep well at night.  My concerns were valid and well-founded, by the way, because I had only been away from Sarah a total of 10 days since we've been engaged - none of which were easy for me - and I was adding 8 to it.  I'd only been gone 1 night in Jakob's life, and it was a hard night.  I don't sleep well without them nearby.  I only choked up one time, though, and of all times, it was while I was watching the A-Team on Wednesday night in Bemidji.  This thought popped into my head: "This is the part I missed, because Sarah wanted me to go call her dad and see if Jakob was okay."  I think it was a combination of that and the aura of BA Baracus that caused it.  Still, it wasn't as bad as I feared it would be - not even close.

When I got home, though, I proceeded as though it had been as bad as I had feared.  My plan going into Workcamp was to take a long Sabbath when I got home, spending as much time with Sarah and Jakob as possible.  Some youth pastors are given this comp time after a trip, and others are not.  I used to be one that was not, but KCC is the best, and I no longer worry about the things I used to have to worry about.  The approved plan was for me to disappear, and I did.  Fearing I would be lured into working on post-workcamp stuff by nothing other than my own nature, I thought it best to leave town, so we went to Ohio and stayed with our friends Nate and Mandy.  We know a lot of people in the town we stayed, but we didn't go out of our way to see everyone.  We tried to see a lot of people, but with no time set to see them, we missed many, and we were okay with that.  We went to some people's houses, found them not home, and that was that.  We didn't see them.  The important part was resting and spending time together.  So we fell off the radar a bit, popping up here and there, but mostly staying invisible to the world.

I learned the need for a Sabbath very early in ministry. It has taken me years to learn to do it right, and I'm still practicing.  I used to stay home and work on stuff, but I would call it good, because Sarah and I were in a room together.  I confused being home with spending time with my family.  My new approach to Sabbath is just dropping off the face of the earth.  I will admit to resurfacing now and then on Mondays or other times of rest, but I try to only do so when Sarah and Jakob are napping.

Why is it so important to me?  Sarah and Jakob are in first place; everything else is vying for second.  God.  Sarah and Jakob.  Everything else.  I love my church family, my youth group, SE kids, my calling, and my ministry.  My number one ministry is the Selph family, though, and I would never apologize to anyone for that.  I'm glad no one in our church - at least not on staff or on the deacon or elder boards (can't speak for everyone.  don't want to.) -  would expect me to.

who, what, where, why, and when baptism?

Long time no talk.  I thought about posting about my Workcamp trip last week, but I don't want to tip my hand.  On July 18, from 6:00-8:00 PM, we'll be celebrating WC during our normal youth group service.  I will talk about it then, after which I will post a blog.  Oh, and speaking of Workcamp, big shout out to Marni, who actually e-mailed everyone from our group.  The kids were surprised by that, especially when I told them that I had never actually met her in person.  But I digress.  This post isn't about WC at all.  It's about baptism.

On August 1, our church will be doing baptism and baby dedication.  I am excited, because I will have the opportunity to baptize some kids from YG and CM, and I will get to witness others as they follow Christ in obedience.  Inevitably, whenever we do a baptism service, I get a lot of questions about baptism after the fact.  So I did a preemptive strike tonight and talked about the important questions about baptism.  I did not intend to teach.  I intended to have small group in the large group.  I ended up teaching some.  I can't help myself sometimes.  But they did answer many of the questions I asked.

Instead of telling you about baptism, I will leave this post open.  What do you think about baptism?  Who should be baptized?  What is it?  In what manner should it be done?  Where should it take place?  Why should one get baptized?  What does it accomplish?  When is the proper time for a person to be baptized?

I could answer all of those questions for you, but I won't.  I didn't intend on teaching tonight.  Remember?