singing to Jesus, scaring his mom

Jakob has some praise music that he enjoys.  It's a toddler/preschool aimed album by Yancy called, "Little Praise Party."  He likes to sing along with it to the best of his ability, and of course, he jumps and dances around the entire time.  He even likes to sing his favorite song, "My Best Friend," when he's out and about.  In fact, a couple of weeks ago, he was singing it in the car, and he really, really scared Sarah.

He began singing, "Jesus is my best friend, my best friend, my best friend...," and Sarah freaked out a little bit.  The singing was right behind her head, which meant to her that he had gotten out of his car seat and was standing there singing.  However, a couple weeks before, I bought the best Christmas present for an obnoxious boy that doesn't live in the same home as you: a vuvuzela.  It was in the backseat of the car, as was Jakob.  He reached for it and got ahold of it, and he held it up to his mouth.  He began singing through it, projecting the sound to a spot right behind Sarah's ear.  He wasn't out of his seat.  He's just hilarious.

God's four year olds

We have yet to enter the most dreaded phase of parenting: the why phase.  Jakob doesn't seem to care why we do things yet.  He just does them, with or without gentle nudging, depending on the day and mood.  But I know a day is coming that I won't even be able to go to the bathroom without explaining why to him.  It's inevitable.  Kids want to know why everything.  I have dealt with it on a children's pastor level, but not as a parent yet.  I believe that from my occasional response, I will break the vow I made when I was younger to never say, "Cause I'm your dad, and I said so," since I've said pretty much the same thing to kids at church at times.  Just exchange dad for in charge, and you're there.

Though adults can find it annoying to be constantly asked why by a child, I feel like adults do it, too.  Only we do it to God.  We become his four year olds.  I know that I do, anyway.  I often wonder why God allows this or that to happen or why He wants me to do something or whatever.  Sometimes it's just something simple that He asks me to do, and other times it's major moves and shifts in life.

Why do I have to move?  (I'm not moving, that's just an example)
Why did you let that person in my life?
Why can't I make more money?
Why can't I just eat Dorito's and drink Cherry Coke and lose weight at the same time?
Why do you let people get sick?
Why do people have to die?
Why?
Why?
Why?

There are times in our lives when we will be at a loss.  We do not always understand what God's doing or what He's allowing to happen, and all we're left with is grief, sorrow, annoyances, and wondering why.  But then that's when faith is revealed, because it's the dark times in life that require faith to be strong.  Believing that God's ways are best when everything is going great for you doesn't take as much faith as believing His ways are best when things are messy and painful.  Strong faith believes that God's way is best, even when we do not understand it.  When we are left wondering why, and there seems to be no answers, we have to remember the words of Isaiah 55:8-9:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways."

We may never understand why, because we cannot fully comprehend the way God works.  We just have to rest in the promise of Romans 8:28: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

I have trouble with lyrics

I have had trouble understanding what singers are saying for my entire life.  It's not that I don't get most of what they are saying.  There are just lines that I struggle to understand.  It's not too bad, because I'm usually in the car by myself when I sing, or sometimes I sing without thinking about it with Sarah in the car.  I refuse to sing in front of anyone else.  But the problem arises when Sarah is in the car with me, because she doesn't struggle to hear the lyrics, and she also doesn't struggle to laugh at me when I'm screwing up songs.

One group that has always given me trouble has been the OC Supertones.  I have always loved their music, and I inevitably end up singing along with it, but there always seems to be at least one song per album that trips me up.  Their new album just came out yesterday.  As usual, there was one song that I couldn't understand.  I knew what I heard, but at least this time, I knew I was wrong.   I even sought counsel from my wise wife, but she couldn't decipher it, either.

Here's the song.  You can jump to 1:12 in the song and listen for ten seconds and see what you heard.  I'll tell you what I heard after the video, though, because I don't want to sully your ability to hear for yourself.  Ready?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEbqgvuCUQA&t=1m12s

What did you hear?  Here's what I heard, versus what was actually said:

What I heard: We’re boppin’ like a blitzkrieg, pilin’ in the backseat. Party till my butt cheek generates steam heat. No rows no seats, everybody on your feet, and smash it up! Smash it up! Meet me at the downbeat!

What was really said: We’re boppin’ like a blitzkrieg, pilin’ in the backseat. Party till were fa-tigued.  Generating steam heat. No rows no seats, everybody on your feet, and smash it up! Smash it up! Meet me at the downbeat!

Samsonite!  I was way off.

 

passing on our habits

It should come as no big surprise to you that I love Star Wars.  If this is news to you, you have probably never been in my office, read my tweets. or been around me when my phone has started to ring.  Oh, and you've never seen my wallet.  You know who also loves Star Wars?  Jakob.  It is one of his most favorite things.  Whenever we go to Target or Meijer, the first thing he asks is if we can go look at Star Wars toys. If I am working on my computer, he comes and asks me to play the Star Wars song for him, because I'm so cool that I have the sound track.  When we go out to Oriental restaurants, he likes to pretend that chop sticks are lightsabers.  And, he loves to vocalize the Star Wars theme song all the time.  He has inherited my love for Star Wars, and I really didn't push him into it.  He just observed me enjoying it, wanted to watch it with me, and it just happened.

He has inherited other things from me and Sarah, as well.  He behaves like we do, and it's fun to see.  It could also be scary, depending on the situation.  He makes me more aware of myself and shortcomings, because I'm afraid he'll repeat something he shouldn't say - especially at church! - or he'll develop issues similar to mine.  The other day, he and I were alone in the car, and someone turned out in front of me and never made it up to speed.  I had to pass, because they stayed solidly at 35 in a 45 MPH zone.  I was annoyed and shouted, "Come on!  If you're not going to drive, don't turn in front of me!"  I was upset.  From the backseat, I heard Jakob ask me, "You okay, Daddy?"  He asked so sweetly, too.  He was worried that I was upset, and he wanted to make sure I was alright.  I immediately felt guilty, because his concern revealed that he had heard me and witnessed an angry, unacceptable behavior from me.

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  I have been a trainer, and I have been trained.  Training isn't just telling or teaching from a manual.  It also involves demonstrating behavior, so the trainee can emulate it.  Often times, it also involves showing not just what, but also how and why.  This is how we train our kids.  We demonstrate our love and devotion to God, so they can emulate it.  We teach them what it means to love God, and we show them how to do it, and we tell them why it's important.

What will your kids learn to love from you?  How will they learn to behave?

ranking Halloween candies

I'm not sure where you fall on the celebrating Halloween, and that's okay.  It's not really pertinent to this post.  What is important is fun sized candies, and which ones are the best.  I know that tomorrow, I can buy whatever fun sized candy I want for half price or less.  So even if you pass on Halloween celebrations, you still have a vested interest in this time of year and its candy offerings.  Here are my favorite Halloween candies to receive, and by receive, I mean take from my son's candy stash the day after Halloween.

1.  Butterfinger

I don't know what it is about shrinking this candy bar down to size that makes it taste so much better.  I kind of like Butterfinger in its original state, but I don't really buy it.  Maybe it's too crumbly or greasy or sticky in my teeth.  I don't know.  What I do know is that Jakob will not get to eat any of those this week, because I will eat them all as soon as he goes to bed.

2.  Heath bar

Here's another candy that I do not buy in full size form, but I love to eat in miniature versions.  It's also really good on ice cream.  Although I couldn't stand to eat a full size Heath bar, I could gladly stand to eat an entire bag of little Heaths.  It doesn't make sense.  It's just the way life is.

3.  Peanut M&M's

This is actually my favorite candy.  If I walk into a store with the intention of buying candy, or I get suckered into buying one at checkout, it's almost always going to be Peanut M&M's.  I just love them.  The only downside is that it is also Jakob's favorite candy, and I could never steal his favorite from him.  That's why I don't let him have little Butterfingers.  I don't want it to become his favorite.

4.  Mr. Goodbar

Such a distinguished candy!  Nobody knows what his first name is, because he is so respected that no one is on a first name basis with him.  I'm surprised his distinguished position doesn't move him above fourth place, but you can only rest on your past accomplishments so much.  But he's still tasty enough to come in the top five.  Not too shabby for a candy bar that is just chocolate and peanuts.  He doesn't even have a candy shell!  And that, Mr. Candy, is why you are not in third.  Sorry.

5.  Hershey bar

It's pretty plain.  It's usually the last candy to go.  But it is so good.  You can't argue with Hershey's milk chocolate, unless you're European, and then you probably can, because I hear your chocolate is richer and more delicious than the American version.  But I digress.  They are just square Hershey's Kisses, and since I have personal space issues, I prefer a bar to a kiss.  Plus, they're more securely sealed, so I don't have to wonder if you secretly licked the candy before giving it to me, a concern every boy has for his entire life.

Those are my top 5.  What are your favorites?

Fun fact: none of the candies I listed are in the picture I posted.  Shame on me.

children gone wild

When you leave a kid unattended, and they know they are completely unattended, things can get pretty dicey.  You never know what you might find.  It may be messy, it may be naughty, and it may just be funny.  Depends on the kid, I suppose.

Jakob doesn't get left unattended for very long as a general rule.  He is three, after all.  It's not like we would leave him home while we ran to Target or went on a date.  That would be ridiculous and probably criminal.  But he has been unattended before.  Like when Sarah has been sick in the past (and she hasn't called to tell me), she has kept him in our room while she slept for a little bit.  And he's usually quite sweet about the whole thing.  He'll get himself a snack sometimes, or maybe he'll find a DVD to put in, and he'll sit by her and quietly watch our bedroom TV.  He'd never really been sneaky, mischievous, or crazy about it, and it's happened a few times.

Last week, Jakob finally went a little wild, as far as he goes.  It was Thursday, and I intended to stay up to watch the Tigers.  Sarah was in the bedroom reading, and I was in the living room.  But we were both coming down with something.  I felt myself falling asleep, but I thought I knew that she was awake, so no big deal.  She wasn't awake, though. She had also fallen asleep.  So when I fell asleep around 8:45, I accidentally left Jakob unattended.  I only slept for 30 minutes, though, because he sprang into action.

At 9:15 PM, I was awakened by the sound of one of Jakob's loud trucks - one I do not usually let him play with in the living room, because it's so stinking loud on the hard floors- accompanied by his making really loud truck noises.  I was startled out of my sleep.  I look over at him, and he is just playing and having a good time doing something in the living room that he usually doesn't do.  No big deal, though.  He's just playing with his toys.  I tell him to put it away in his room, because it's time for bed. As we are walking out of the living room, I see Sarah's bag of Lucky Charms on the table, no box in sight.  I look at him, and he has a few marshmallows in his left hand. We don't let him eat that cereal, because he doesn't eat the cereal.  He only eats the marshmallows and then asks for more.  But he got into them, and he was eating only marshmallows.  I put them away and followed him down to the bedrooms, where we got ready for bed.

Knowing he was completely unattended and could do whatever he wanted, Jakob ate Lucky Charms marshmallows and played with a bedroom only toy in the living room, yelling and laughing throughout it all.  This is his going wild for now.  No coloring on walls.  No parties.  No playing with matches.  No drinking or drugs.  Just sugar cereal and a toy truck.  I love this age.

I've been forgiven

It is good to receive forgiveness.  Isn't it?  I've been forgiven by Jesus, my wife, my parents, my siblings, my friends, and others over the years, and I've never once wished that someone would have held something against me and carried a grudge.  Forgiveness feels much better.  But sometimes I have wronged a person I was not in position to even apologize to, because I had no idea who they were.  I know that specifically, almost 20 years ago, my brother Dan and I stole from someone we didn't know.  And today I was forgiven by that person, because I happen to meet him and find out that he was the owner of what we had stolen as children.  Here's the story.

When we were younger, my brother Dan and I learned how to steal stickers from those 50-cent machines at a lot of grocery stores.  No, I won't tell you how we did it.  I've only ever told one person, and that was Mark, who I met today, since he owned the machines.  Anyway, we did it one time to see if it would really work, because the kid who told us how was kind of fast and loose with the truth.  But then we got excited, because it did work, and the exotic sports car stickers were so cool.  So we did it again.  And again.  And again.  In total, we did it eleven times, giving each of us a complete set of 5, plus one extra Lamborghini sticker.

Our mom noticed the new stickers and was annoyed that we had wasted so much on them.  We didn't care, cause we hadn't spent anything on them, and we went to our room to apply them to our basketball card folders.  But as we did, we both started feeling really guilty about it.  After some discussion, we went back downstairs and told our mom what we had done.  I cannot speak for Dan, but I had guilty tears in my eyes.  We asked if there was a way to make it right, and she said we could apologize and pay for them.  So we went right back over to Meijer with $5.50 and an apology note in an envelope.  The Meijer customer service worker told us they didn't own the machines, but they could pass it on to the owner.  So we left.

I met the man that owned that machine today.  I was buying a gum ball machine from him for children's ministry.  More on that another day.  But after talking to him about when he started his business, and how far the range was of his business.  It turns out he had those machines in the Meijers in Grand Rapids at that time.  So I told him about what my brother and I had done, and I was sure to include the part about us paying for them in the end.  I was able to apologize to him almost 20 years later, and he just laughed and said it was okay.  I can now sleep peacefully tonight, knowing the big sticker scandal has finally been settled, and I've been forgiven.

before you fast

On Sunday, Michael Small did a great job laying out what the Bible says about fasting, and how we are called to do so throughout our lifetime by God.  As a church, we are embarking on a period of time when we will be fasting together and yet separately in different ways as God calls us.  Before we get there, though, I think there are somethings you should understand before going on a fast.  I will give you a quick list of things up front, because this will likely be a long post.  I do not want you to miss some important notes, because you know you will not read the whole thing.  So please, read the bullet points and feel free to pass on the rest if you must, but don't miss these things.

• Before you fast, you should know your body limits.  Consult a doctor if you must.  If you are a diabetic or hypoglycemic or whatever, a whole fast is not a prudent choice.


• One type of fast is not more holy than another type of fast.


• Fasting is a private issue.  It can be entered into corporately, but the decision to do so and the loss you feel throughout are private matters.  It's not something to brag about, and it's not your business to ask someone else why they are not fasting.  You are not the food police.


• Make sure it is God calling you to your fast and not someone else.  But you said the church was going on a fast, so our church is calling me to one.  Here's an inside secret: the last time a group of elders and church leaders did a fast, I didn't, because God wasn't asking me to do it.  I felt no peace about it.  So please, consult God.

It's a matter of faith

When you enter into a fast, you are placing your faith in God to sustain you.  Whether you're going without food, caffeine, technology, or whatever else, you are asking God to fill that void and expecting that He will do so.  It is also a matter of obedience.  When God asks you to do something, big or small, you do it.  Well, you should do it.  So when He calls you to fast, you fast. Simple as that.

But not everyone can fast in the same way.  God created your body, and that is the framework in which He has called you to obedience.  Do not tell God that you will do something He has not called you to, and you are expecting Him to take care of you.  That is called testing God, and the Bible tells us in Deuteronomy - and Jesus reaffirms this when speaking to the Devil in Luke 4 - that you are not to put God to the test.  What does that mean?  It means you put expectations on Him to follow your will and come through for you like a miracle worker.  It means you put Him in the precarious position of performing at your command.  1 Corinthians 10:9 says not to test Christ, or you may end up destroyed by serpents like the others.  This is in reference to an old faith act of picking up a snake, as Paul did, and not dying if the venomous snake bit you.  Likely some Christians said, "look, we're going to do this to prove God, and He will keep us safe."  I'm guessing He didn't call them to do it, didn't promise protection, and they got to meet Him earlier than expected.  Do not test God by saying, "I will go on a whole fast for 40 days, and God must sustain me," if He's not calling you to it.  Especially don't do it if you have health reasons that you know should keep you from doing it.  Seek Him and be wise.  Bravado does not equal faith.

It's a matter of obedience

Jesus fasted for 40 days on nothing but water.  God could call you to that, I suppose.  I'm actually grateful He has never asked me to do that.  But Daniel fasted for 10 days, and his fast basically consisted of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and nuts.  He still was able to take in the necessary amount of daily calories and protein his body needed.  He just wasn't eating meat or dairy.  Nothing with a face or a mother.  Was his fast less holy than yours if you go on a whole fast (water only)?  Certainly not.  He carried out the fast God had called him to do.  But mine is more holy, because I am giving up everything but water.  It's a bigger sacrifice.  It is a big sacrifice, but God's looking for obedience.  1 Samuel 15:22 tells us that to obey is better than to sacrifice. So if God's leading you to fast a particular way, and you go another way so you can get more out of it, you're missing the point.

It's a private matter

Here's a really sticky issue related to fasting.  Some people get all fussy and pharisaical about other people's following God.  Let's look at the passage that usually gets people all worked up and see what it says and means.



People will often say that when you go on a fast, you can't tell anyone about it, because Jesus said not to do that.  He did not.  He said that when you fast, you can't put on a big show of how miserable you are.  Don't let people know how bad it is for you.  Don't tweet, "I really want this donut, but I can't.  #fastinginfaith."  Don't brag about it.  It is okay, however, to let others know that you are fasting and to pray for you.  Daniel's fast wasn't private.  He told the head guard what he wanted to do, he entered into it with a group of friends, and they fasted for ten days with everyone else knowing what they were doing.  Was he not rewarded for it?  Did he not excel and grow stronger than his friends that didn't take a stand?  Was he not commended for his faith by God in the Bible?

Privacy is key in keeping your struggle with fasting to yourself, and it also plays another role.  Let's keep looking at Daniel.  Was there any record of Daniel circling the room - a room filled with Jewish young men who all had the same dietary laws to follow - and saying, "Hey, why aren't you doing this with me?  Don't you have faith?"  Of course there's not.  He's not the food and fasting police, and neither are you.  What if God didn't give someone else peace about fasting?  Should they do it because a lot of other people are?  Should they do it because the call has been given by men?  Absolutely not.  Let God call you to what He will call you.  As you prepare to fast, and as you are fasting, let yourself be so focused on God that you don't have time to notice what someone else is or is not doing.  Worry about God and you.

But when you fast

You really should fast at some point in your lifetime.  It was an assumed.  Jesus said, "and when you fast," because it was an understood that you would at some point.  If God never calls you to fast from anything ever, you're probably not tuned into the right channel.  Seek God, be willing to follow Him, and WHEN He makes the call, give up what needs giving up and let Him be sufficient enough for you.

changing behaviors without actually changing

Did you know you can change your behaviors, even over an extended period of time, without actually changing who you are?  It's quite simple, really.  All you have to do is create a system in which sticking with your old behaviors is either impossible or very costly to you.  You will forcibly change your actions.  I signed up for Gym-Pact in January, because it held me accountable to going to the gym.  I had to work out three times a week, or I would have to pay $5 for each workout I missed.  I only missed one from January to June.  But I only had to workout for thirty minutes, so by the end of it, I would show up to the gym, sign in right away, work out a little bit, and as soon as my phone said I had been there half an hour, I went back to my car and left.  I was shooting for the lowest requirement.

When June came around, I realized I would be out of town for a lot and unable to check in at my gym.  I had the mission trip, the post mission trip recovery, my brother's wedding, and a couple other reasons to be out of town.  I didn't want to get charged, so I took a break from Gym-Pact.  I collected my reward money and closed out my account, because I couldn't meet my pact.  Oh, but I would still work out when I could wherever I could.  I would run.  I would exercise at home, in hotel rooms, and at the gym as I could.  That's what I said.  But I hadn't changed at all.  I was following a system that was set up to keep me from failing, and once the training wheels were taken off, I realized I hadn't really learned to ride the bike after all.  So on a side note there, I just signed up again, with RunKeeper, to workout four days a week this time.  I'll try to run twice and go to the gym twice.  Whatever I do, I'll workout all four times, because I'm cheap, and I also don't want to get in trouble with my wife.

Your spiritual life is the same way.  You can set up systems to keep you from failing God, but if you never seek Him and allow Him to change who you are, you will always go back to your previous lifestyle.  You can cancel the internet, or you can set up X3 Watch, and you can ensure that you won't be able to look at pornography without paying a steep immediate price.  But if you don't let God change who you are, when the safety walls come down, you'll go right back to it.  I've seen it happen.  It is a very good thing to set up barriers between yourself and your sins of choice.  I highly recommend it.  I also recommend an accountability partner who will make sure you don't go around the barriers.  But what I really recommend is getting into God's Word, pouring yourself out to Him, and letting Him change who you are on the inside.  Romans 12:2 says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  The only renewal station is at the foot of the cross.  So get there.

feeling dumb when you read the Bible

Reading the Bible is important for every Christian.  We're told to read, study, and meditate on it.  And as a pastor, I think it's my job to not just read it and know it, but it's also my job to to encourage and enable you to do it.  So this year in youth group, I'm going out of my way to make sure people are reading the Bible.  The leaders are all set up with their DeliberatePeople journals.  They explained it to the students and handed them out to them, as well.  A lot of parents came Sunday night and received one.  We're all going to be reading the same part of the Bible all year, and I think that's great.

But there's a catch.  If you haven't read the Bible much before, you probably aren't familiar with a common occurrence: feeling dumb when you read it.  Sometimes you read something in the Bible, and you're left wondering what it was talking about.  And then you wonder if everyone else gets it, and you're the only one that has trouble.  That's going to happen to a lot of people in and around our youth group this year, maybe for the first time.  Maybe it happened yesterday for the first time.  Here's what we read from Proverbs:



 

Say what?  I think it means that you should be careful to not fall for someone buttering you up and then taking advantage of you, but I'm not sure.  Maybe you read it and weren't sure, either.  It's okay.  You're not as stupid as you thought. Sometimes it's just confusing, but don't let that stop you from reading.

why I'm going old school

I like using my phone for everything.  When I go on mission trips, retreats, family vacations, or wherever, I can bring my one slim phone and leave behind my camera, video camera, Bible, and computer.  I have access to all of that stuff on one device.  At first, it was new and shiny to me, and I thought it was great.  Then last year around this time, I started doing my devotions exclusively on my phone.  It was easy.  It was always around.  I never forgot it at work.  I even got pop up reminders to read my Bible from the YouVersion app, which was pretty cool.  So I could never say, "I forgot to read my Bible today."  I had to consciously choose to miss it, and yes, sometimes I did.

But the thing about my phone is I get a lot of notifications, and I find them distracting.  I'm told when it's my turn to play a game, when someone tweets at me, when someone texts me, or obviously when someone's calling me.  I find this distracting.  I would usually not leave my Bible app to tend to those things, but then it would be on my mind.  My attention was split between what I was doing and responding, so I'd read faster and spend less time in thought.  I noticed, so I quit reading on my phone primarily.  But I still used YouVersion's plans to remind me and tell me what to read.  And there was my phone.  Now I wasn't looking at it, but it made sounds, it buzzed, it flashed lights at me.  I had put down the phone, but I still knew someone wanted me to do something, and my attention was torn.

So I'm done.  I'm going old school.  No, I'm not pulling out my old KJV.  But I'm going read the same Bible for the next three years, and I'm going to wear it out.  I'm going to highlight it.  I'm going to write in it.  I'll have a little binder with my reading plan and paper to write longer notes.   I'll keep my phone off or in a different room, so it can no longer distract me, and I'll get more out of it then when I rush it.  I'm not saying that it's wrong to use a phone app to read your Bible, assuming you can handle it.  But I can't handle the distractions.  I'm weak in this area.  Would it be a greater show of strength to overcome my weakness or to acknowledge my weakness and avoid situations that enable failure?  I'm going to try to avoid the possibility of failing.

So why three years?  Because it's going to be a kid's Bible, and I'm going to give it to Jakob.  He'll be able to read by then, and he'll be able to see that I don't just tell him to read the Bible.  I read it, too.  Then I'll take a teen study Bible and do it again, and I'll give it to him when he's ready.  And then I'll take a study Bible and do it again, and I'll give it to him when he graduates from high school.  For the rest of Jakob's life, I want him to see that I'm reading the Bible, not possibly reading it or playing games or surfing the web.  My Christian life is personal, but it's not just about me.  It never was, but it is less so now more than ever.  I'm leading my son, and I want to more intentionally beat down a clear path for him to follow.  I want him to be able follow me as I follow Christ.

the boy who told the truth

It's not easy to do the right thing when it seems everyone else isn't.  In the Bible, we see that out of all the Jews taken in the Babylonian Exile, only 3 refused to bow to Nebuchadnezzar's statue.  In Washington, we see that only one man is willing to stand up and...just kidding.  I have no desire to write about politics ever.

Last week, I got to help run a youth camp program in Muskegon with my friends Amy and Todd.  It was a new experience for me, and it was really fun.  One kid stood out to me on two separate occasions.  One was good, one was not.  On Wednesday, he and I had a run in when he openly disrespected me.  Up to that point, he had been pretty respectful and was enjoying himself.  So we had some words, most of which came from me, and we parted ways.  We were fine, though, and he continued coming the rest of the week.  That was the first time he stood out to me, and to be honest, it made the next time even more surprising.

On Friday, something happened.  I noticed that a group of older guys was sitting off to the side, refusing to engage with the rest of the group.  Amy knew why, but I hadn't heard yet.  This middle school guy had been hanging around them the whole week, trying to be accepted into their group.  He wanted to be cool to them and followed them around a lot.  They actually accepted him into their little circle and let him in on a secret: they had been doing bad things that week: destructive things.  They were bragging about it.  Now he had a choice to make.  Did he want to be cool or let someone know?  I think that most kids - and frankly, most adults - would have kept their mouths shut.  You know, because snitches get stitches.  But not this kid.  He went and told Amy what had happened, because it needed to be done.  He chose the uncool way out, and on Friday, he was out of the group.

After I had all the details, I went and found him, and we had some more words, with most of them coming from me again.  If I pulled him aside to express disappointed in the way he behaved earlier in the week, I was going to be sure to pull him aside and tell him how impressed with him and proud of him I was this time.  And that's something you should do.  If you don't take time to praise the good things and right decisions someone makes, you should probably bite your tongue and not criticize or correct them, either.

specks and logs and judging others

We are all probably familiar with the verses that talk about removing the log from your own eye before worrying about the speck in someone else's eye.  Right?  Because when someone points out an area of concern in our lives, it's a pretty quick retort to throw out there. There's that and the often misused, "judge not, lest ye be judged."  People love the King James Version when they're trying to convict others with the Bible, I suppose.  These happen to be back-to-back in the Bible, found in Matthew 7, and I want to take a minute to look at how they actually apply to our lives.  First, let's read the verses:

"“1 Judge not, that you be not judged. 2  For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Judge not.  You can't judge me.  Who are you to say that what I'm doing is sin?  The first two statements are accurate, but that last one is a misapplication.  Saying that something is a sin is not judging.  It is reiterating what God has already written, and He's also commanded us as Christians to hold each other accountable to following what He's written, so we should slow our high and mighty roll before throwing it out inaccurately.  So what does it really mean?  To judge someone means to pass judgement.  Get it?  It's a little redundant, but people still miss it.  If I were to say, "Having sex outside of marriage is a sin," I wouldn't be judging anything or anyone.  I'd be stating a Biblical fact.  Now, if I were to say, "If you are having sex outside of marriage, God should not bless you in any way, and you should not be forgiven and get to go to Heaven," I'd be adjudicating a sentence for your sin.  That's judging.  Now I'm taking God's place as Judge, and I am by actions asking God to hold me to the same standards of judgment I'm using.  So first, remember that there's a difference between identifying what the Bible has clearly called sin and passing judgment or condemnation for the sinner.

Now, about those specks and logs.  My brother and I were recently tweeting back and forth about this, because we're really hip and use twitter.  If someone were to say to you, "Hey, you really shouldn't be getting drunk like that," you might be tempted to throw out, "Why don't you worry about the log in your eye before worrying about the speck in mine?"  We've heard it a lot, especially recently, and it rubs us the wrong way like a cat being grabbed by the tail and pet backwards straight up his back.  It just bugs me.  You know why?  Because it is true that I need to worry about the sin in my life, but you're not supposed to compare yourself to me.  You're supposed to emulate Jesus.  So you should never let the log in my eye or anyone else's eye keep you from pulling the speck out of yours.  If someone points out a sin in my life, I would hope I'd be humble enough to bite my tongue, look at myself, and address the issue.  I want to grieve my sin just like Jesus does.  I want to hate my sin so much that even the specks bother me.  You know why?  Because if the only sins I were ever guilty of were specks, it would still require Jesus' blood to pay my penalty and give me life in Heaven.

If we are ever to grow as Christians, we're going to need each other to hold us accountable.  Iron sharpens iron.  Iron doesn't tell iron not to judge it.  It accepts the friction and grows as a result.  We need to grow thicker skin and stop pretending to be offended when someone points out our sin.  Let's stop deflecting and just clean the specks and the logs out of our eyes, so we can see Jesus more clearly in our lives.

 

Sunday gives me the funniest quotes

We all know that kids say the best stuff.  Why?  Because they're unfiltered.  I get to spend time with elementary students on many Sunday mornings, and I hang out with teenagers on Sunday nights.  I always seem to have something funny to share with Sarah, and it's usually something a kid said.  This weekend was no exception.  I taught elementary, and although I didn't teach, I was at youth group.  Here are the two top quotes from this weekend that caught me off guard and made me laugh.

Josh, 5th grade

Me: Does anyone know any gross Bible stories?
Josh:  Adam and Eve in the garden
Me:  You think that was a gross story?
Josh:  Yeah, they were naked.  That's nasty.

Carter, 8th grade

"What's that cologne you wear?  It's the one that you have a bottle of on your desk.  Cause you smell like an angel."  Yup, he was talking to me.

 

If I remember, I'll continue to share these, but I almost never blog what I say I'll blog, so I'm making no promises.

fading glory

Our youth group just recently returned from our mission trip to Greenville, South Carolina, and I can say confidently that I have never seen God move more in one week in my life.  I invite you to come Sunday night at 6:00 to youth group, so you can hear all about it.  But that's not why I'm writing.  In a sense, this was a typical week of Christian camp.  We went, we were saturated with the Word of God and worshipping Him, and we all took at least one step closer to Him in the process.  That happens.  But do you know what else normally happens?  After drawing closer to God while away, we tend to fade at least a little further away from Him when we return.

In Exodus 34, Moses climbs up Mount Sinai and spends time in the presence of God.  He received instructions on how God wanted His people to worship Him.  When he returned to the bottom of the mountain, he realized his face was glowing.  He was radiating God's glory.  It was obvious.  But over time, that faded.  Eventually, he just had plain old Moses face.  The longer he was out of God's presence, the more it faded.  Our faces didn't glow when we returned from Greenville, but our spirits did.  Our demeanor was different and more reflective of God.  It can stay like that, if we continue to come into the presence of God on a daily basis, but it can also fade away, just as Moses' face slowly faded, if we do not choose to stay before God.

When was the last time you found yourself experiencing God's glory from being in His presence?  Has the glory faded?  Have you spent too long away from Him?  As Christians, we've been given authority to enter boldly before the throne of God.  Maybe we should spend more time there.  Don't do it one time a week or one week per Summer.  Make it a habit.  Make it a normal hang out.

I wish I could tell you

Last week was one of the most amazing weeks in ministry I have ever experienced.  It may have been the greatest week.  I wish I could write a post covering every good thing that happened, but I could not, because you may not read it.  It would be the longest post of my life.  Here's what I will tell you: I prayed specifically for some kids who I knew needed it, and God reached them.  I prayed specifically each day we were gone as I saw issues arising, and God took care of them.  We saw two students come to Christ, another five decide to recommit themselves to God, and twenty-five out of twenty-five people - including the adults - acknowledge that they had experienced God in a real way and had drawn closer to Him.

Starting next week, I will give you a glimpse into what we were dealing with by posting the devotions I wrote each day for church group devotions.  Sometimes unknowingly to me, what was said addressed specifically what someone was struggling with.  God just works like that.  You can also join us on Sunday night, July 29, to hear from students and leaders about how God moved in their lives.  The recap service will take place from 6-8 in the church's Theatre.

leaving on a jet plane (that's shaped like a bus)

Next Sunday night, the 2012 mission team is heading out for Greenville, SC, and we need your prayers!  First of all, if you'd like to come see us off, we'll be leaving the church at 10:00 PM.  You are more than welcome to be there and pray with our team.  While we are away, I ask that you pray about a few things:

• This is a new mission organization for us.  Pray that everything goes smoothly.


• Pray for right attitudes.


• Pray for team unity.


• Pray that the students and leaders would be drawn closer to God.  Pray for personal revival.


• Pray for safety.

It would be really swell of you to contact at least one student or leader while we are away.  All of their names are above.  Just a quick note to tell them that you are praying for them and encourage them goes a long way.  If you'd like to send an e-mail, you can send it to rebelyouth@mykcc.org, and I will print them one time each evening.

Thanks for your prayers!

finally a reason to run

If you were to call up my BFF right now and ask him my take on running, he would probably throw out one of two answers: Jeff hates running, or that the only good reason to run is to get away from someone trying to kill you.  That's been my lifelong take on running.  I still hold to the first part, because I do hate running.  But I have finally found a reason to run other than someone trying to kill me.  I ran (and walked, and climbed, and crawled) for clean water in Uganda in June. Below is my Active Water profile, because I am now I'm going to run for clean water in Cambodia, which is one of their projects.  Please take the time to read it, and pray and consider donating to the cause.

________________________________

I am raising money for Active Water's Cambodia project by committing to run in the Traffic Stop 5K on August 25, 2012. To learn more about that run and its purpose, check out this link: https://www.facebook.com/events/286732001368113/. I really do not like running - or more specifically, I do not like how hard it is for me to breathe when I run - but sometimes it's good to hurt a little bit for others. So what about this cause makes me want to run? I think it's good to work towards clean water for people everywhere, but this Cambodian project moves me. Cambodia borders Thailand. During the dry seasons, families send their children to retrieve water from a large river bordering Thailand, making them susceptible to human trafficking. The idea of young children being kidnapped and forced into sex slavery or other types of trafficking rips my heart. And it is amplified for me, because these children are Asian. My wife Sarah was an Asian little girl at one point in her life, and the thought of her being kidnapped and forced into that kind of life brings up emotions I cannot express. God used her parents, who adopted her, to protect her from dangers like that. I hope He can use my running to protect some young child who otherwise might suffer that fate. It's important enough to me to get me to run two to three times a week over the next two months to train for this race, which I hate doing, and I'm not asking you to do anything I wouldn't do. In fact, I am my first supporter on this page. I ask that you would pray about joining me in supporting this mission.

________________________________

If you'd like to donate to toward the cause, go to the following link: http://www.active.com/donate/ActiveWaterAsia/jeffselph

Thanks!

cause taping naps in your own bed stinks

Jakob isn't very interested in taking naps, and he's not afraid to say it.  Even when he's asleep, if you ask him if he wants to take a nap, he scrunches his face, shakes his head, and emphatically tells you, "no."  It's cute and hilarious.  When he's awake, when we ask him if he wants to take a nap, he will either tell us that he doesn't, or he'll ask if he can sleep in our bed. That's what he asked yesterday, so I said he could.  But then he wouldn't sleep.  It was family nap time, since Sarah and I both wanted to sleep, but Jakob kept getting up and moving around.  It was quite disruptive to sleep, so I sent him to his bed.  With great objection, he went.

When I woke up, I went in to check on him and give him a hug.  Only I didn't see him anywhere.  I went to make sure the door was shut and locked, as it should have been, and it was.  He was somewhere inside.  I just had to find him.

[caption id="attachment_1481" align="aligncenter" width="540"] No sight of him when I walked in the room.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1482" align="aligncenter" width="540"] His empty bed. Still no sign of feet sticking out anywhere.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1483" align="aligncenter" width="540"] I think I see something back there.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1484" align="aligncenter" width="540"] There he is! Cuddled up between the head of his bed and the wall.[/caption]

I guess he really meant it when he said he didn't want to sleep in his own bed. All options were better.

how I want to spend my Father's Day

I love Father's Day.  It certainly has its perks for me.  It's the one day when I'm lauded for my many contributions to the life of Jakob, or something like that.  So how do I want to spend Father's Day?

I want to go to church.
I want to eat lunch quickly.
I want to get home and take a nap.
I want to keep my pajamas on after I wake up from my nap.
I want to eat again.
I want to do as close to nothing productive as possible.
I want to be Garfield for Father's Day.  Somebody better warn my dog not to stand too close to any ledges.

the new intern

If the only person you're developing spiritually and in leadership is yourself, you're not doing anyone any favors.  You have to understand that you can and will eventually be replaced, and when you grasp that idea, developing someone who can do that just makes sense.  It's a scary idea to me, because I have trained people before in ministry, as God has directed me, and then God moved me along shortly after.  So when God put it on my heart to start developing someone again, I laughed.  I actually laughed out loud as I was praying and listening to God, because I thought, "Here we go again."  But I don't think I'm going anywhere for a long time, especially since God gave me a unique, young guy who doesn't want my specific job anymore than I want to give my job up.

[caption id="attachment_1468" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Chris signing his internship agreement[/caption]

This is Chris Johnson.  Yes, he is related to my boss, but no, that's not how he got this.  How did Chris come to be the Student Ministry Intern?  Well, he has been serving as a youth leader since my second Sunday in charge.  On my first Sunday, I sat next to him on a hayride and asked what grade he was in.  He gets this a lot, and from I can tell, it's not his favorite question to answer.  He informed me that he had graduated over a year ago, so I asked why he and his friend Brandon were there.  "We're just hanging out."  I let them both know that they would not be, as high school graduates, coming to YG to hang out.  As adults, they could come and be involved, or they could stay home.  Either way was fine.  They both chose to be involved.

Chris has been serving as a middle school small group leader ever since that time.  I can probably count the number of times he has missed youth group since then on one hand, and he's never just no-showed.  He comes early, talks to the middle school students, gets involved in everything.  He's just excited about youth ministry.  Two years ago, he taught one time.  He was nervous and a little shaky, but he wanted to teach, and I let him.  He didn't ask again, though.  Earlier this year, I had been praying about who I could get to teach, and I talked to him.  I asked him if he was willing to start teaching more, and he was.  That's also when he told me that he was actually praying about going into youth ministry.  He hadn't decided yet, but now he has, and he'll be attending Grace Bible College this fall to pursue that.  I'm so pumped for him.

So as he has been faithful in youth ministry for two and half years, and he is going into youth ministry, I asked if he wanted to meet regularly to discuss ministry.  He could ask whatever he wanted, and I would also share lessons with him that I have learned along the way.  He jumped at the idea.  Then I went and talked to his dad - my boss - about taking him on as an unpaid intern (unpaid because we cannot afford to pay him, not because he isn't great).  It had to go to the elder board, which should help to eliminate any accusations of nepotism.  They agreed to the idea of training a young leader who is pursuing ministry, and we took him on.  The goal is that he will be the Student Ministry Intern for one year and transition into a new role.  After one year, I would mostly let go of the reins and have him run the middle school for me.  Why?  Because the real goal is that when he gets done here, he would be able to take a youth ministry job at any church and be fully prepared to lead.

So what exactly will he be doing?  Well, this post is long enough.  You can ask him, or you can wait till the next post.

 

two grueling weeks

This past Sunday, Amie from Active:Water came to our youth group and talked about the world water crisis.  She shared some pretty staggering statistics, one of which is that right now, around 750 million people in our world do not have access to clean water.  That number is down significantly over the last several years, even as the population of our world grows, and a big part of that is Christians stepping up and answering the call.  Organizations like Active:Water, Blood Water Mission, and Living Water International (who we're partnered with for this year's mud run) have rallied people around this cause.

At the end of her presentation, Amie challenged our youth group to be a part of the 2-week challenge.  During the challenge, you only drink tap water.  You can't have any pop, juice, milk (even with cereal), or even coffee.  You can read that as you can't drink any caffeine. This is nuts!  I had prayed over this for a couple months, as I knew they were coming.  I wanted our kids to step up, and they did.  Every single teenager that was there on Sunday night took on the challenge.  We're all going through this together, and at the end, all the money we would have spent on other drinks will be collected and given to Active:Water for their Cambodia project.

Why would you go through 2 grueling weeks without any other drinks?  Well, you can do it for a blessing from God.  The Bible says in Matthew 10:42, "And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded."  Or you could do it, because this crisis is real.  750 million people without drinking water and you know it?  How could you not do something, even a small something, about that?  James 4:17 says, "For him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin."

Would you pray about joining us?  What if everyone at Kalamazoo Community Church inconvenienced themselves for two weeks, saved their money, and gave it towards clean water in Cambodia?  That would make a significant, dynamic impact on the world.

I'll admit that it's not easy, but it's really not as hard as I expected.  Amazingly, as I've leaned on God, He's helped me through the last four days.  As with any other fast, you rely on God to sustain you and replace the thing you're fasting from.  Without caffeine or much sugar - because I consume most of my sugar through drinks - I thought I would be exhausted.  But you know what?  I'm not.  I am falling asleep earlier, which causes me to wake up earlier, and by mid afternoon, I'm fine.

my first time skydiving

[caption id="attachment_1455" align="aligncenter" width="224"] Putting on a brave face before the jump.[/caption]

I wanted to title this post, "Highway to the Danger Zone," but that would have been an incomplete title.  It would have had to have been "Highway to the Danger Zone While Strapped to Another Man," since I went tandem skydiving this past weekend.  Big thanks to the Sherminator and his family for taking me.  It was a really fun experience.  I was definitely scared, missing out on sleep Thursday and Friday night leading up to the jump on Saturday.  I was scared Saturday when I left.  By the time we got there, I had calmed down most of the way, and as we pulled into Skydive Great Lakes, I accepted what I was going to do and wasn't even fidgeting anymore.

[caption id="attachment_1459" align="aligncenter" width="224"] The plane I jumped from[/caption]

There were two things tied for most uncomfortable part of the day.  First, the leg harnesses were really bad, but the point is to keep you attached to the parachute, so I will forgive them.  They were bad enough when I was strapped into them, but when the parachute pulled, it got really uncomfortable.  It really dug into the legs, but again, it's better than dying, so I'm okay with it.  The second most uncomfortable thing was having to sit on my instructors lap for a couple minutes before the jump.  I really had to pass gas, but I didn't want to offend the man whose life my hands were in, so I had to hold it.  Between sitting on a man's lap for the first time in forever and holding in gas, I was pretty uncomfortable.

[caption id="attachment_1458" align="aligncenter" width="300"] The plane taking off.[/caption]

There were about 10 seconds of being really scared up in the air.  I wasn't the first person to jump, which was nice, but that meant I had to sit in the plane with the door open for a bit. That wasn't too scary, but it reminded me that this was real and about to happen.  The scariest part was when the guy before me went, and we immediately slid over to the ledge.  I was instructed to tuck my feet under the plane, grab onto my chest harness, and arch my back.  For at least five seconds, I was not touching the plane, and I wasn't going anywhere.  I was swaying in the wind, 3 miles in the air, attached to a guy I had just met.  He let me know it was about time to go, counted it off, and pushed off the plane.  We backflipped away from the plane and the free fall began.  That flip and the first few seconds after it took a second to adjust to.  I had to remind myself to breathe, and when I did, it felt like I was under water or had a bloody nose or something.  The air was very thin.

The free fall lasted for about 60 seconds, and when the chute came out, I was simultaneously disappointed that the free fall was over and relieved that the parachute worked.  There's a back up chute that would bail us out if the first chute didn't work, but I didn't want to experience that so much.  The rest of the fall lasted for a few minutes.  I got to steer - and I feel like a kid who sat on his dad's lap driving through parking lot just saying that - and I got to assist in a downward spin.  It was like a crazy roller coaster for a moment while I twirled in the air.

It was a great experience.  I would like to do it a couple more times, although at this point, I have little desire to make a solo jump.  Maybe some day, but for now, I'm content flying through the danger zone strapped to an experienced jumper.

Here's the video, shot from the ground.  It would have cost too much to have them film it in the air, so Hayden filmed it on my phone from the ground.  I'm the second person to land in this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqAt46nfJ58

just get them to Jesus

Life isn't always easy.  Not for you, and not for me.  Sometimes, it can be downright miserable.  Even being in full time ministry - which you no doubt know is week after week of sunshine and roses - there are days when you just throw your hands up and wonder, "Really, God?  How am I supposed to deal with that?"  Those days most commonly happen for me when I encounter someone who is hurting, and I know you know I'm  ill-equipped to help.  When someone is in pain, and they look to me for help, and all I can muster is "I'm sorry," and inside I'm thinking, "I have no idea what to do," I start to feel overwhelmed, inadequate, and weak.  I'm sure you've been there.

Lately, I feel like I've been stuck in just such a season.  It's not been a day here or a day there.  Week after week after week, I've been faced with something that is out of my league.  It's gotten to me.  I've had to ask God what I'm doing here, and why He's letting me be in ministry.  Last Wednesday, after Celebrate Recovery, I pulled Todd aside and talked to him about how I was feeling.  After talking for an hour about all the messiness in our world, I went home feeling still empty.  I prayed about it, and I felt drawn to 2 Corinthians.  When I got to chapter 12, this is what I read:

“"My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I'd been hard on myself for being weak, for not being strong enough.  And here Paul confesses his weakness, and how happy he is in the fact that he's weak.  We cannot do everything, and that's fine, because God's not limited in His power.

I shared this with a group of youth ministry friends, and Scott from Youth for Christ shared something in response that has resonated with me since.  There were men in the New Testament who had a crippled friend.  They brought him on a mat to where Jesus was teaching.  They were so intent on getting him before Jesus that they tore the roof off the building and lowered him down.  They were weak.  They could not heal their friend, and they knew it.  But they knew who could, and they got him to Jesus.  We need to get hurting people to Jesus.  We can't fix their pain.  We can't take it away.  But we can get them to Jesus.

the day I got Todd in trouble

It must be hard to believe that I got my coworker in trouble, but I did!  Actually, he got himself in trouble, but I was involved.  Two years ago, I was still fairly new at KCC, and I had never preached here.  I had obviously taught in youth and children's, but I had never taught in big church.  Easter week was approaching, and Todd realized he was supposed to teach Palm Sunday, be heavily involved in the Easter program, and lead worship and teach at the Good Friday service.  That's a lot for one guy in a week's time.  So he asked if I would go ahead and teach for Good Friday.  I, loving to preach, naturally accepted.

Here's the problem: Dave hadn't approved it, and I made him nervous.  Sometimes, I think I still make him nervous every time I walk on stage.  I can be a loose cannon.  So Dave was a little unhappy with Todd's decision to ask me without asking him.  He actually pulled Todd aside and gave him a talking to, if you will.  As far as I know, that's the last time Dave pulled him aside and chastised him.  So Todd's a pretty great employee when he's not letting me teach.

Dave did allow me to teach, but with great oversight.  If I remember correctly, I had to pretty much tell him my entire message beforehand.  That didn't bother me.  I was just excited to preach.  And it must have went well.  How do I know?  Well, here's my list of reasons:

• I didn't get fired.


• Todd didn't get fired.


• I got to teach again a few weeks later, and have a number of times since.


• I get to teach again tomorrow night, and Dave hasn't even asked to see my outline.

So hopefully I'll see you tomorrow at the Good Friday service.  I'll be unfiltered and uncensored.  Lucky for Dave, my idea of unfiltered and uncensored means something completely different than it did two years ago.

Happy Easters!

Jakob's first time volunteering at church

Jakob's a sweet kid.  You probably already knew that.  If you don't know that, or if you disagree with that, I assume we are not friends.  He is constantly trying to help Sarah, whether she wants it or not.  He will put dirty dishes in the sink, take dirty and clean silverware from the dishwasher and put it in the silverware drawer, and he'll even hold the door for her sometimes.  He's learned all of this behavior from watching us. He knows it's helping, and he knows it's what we do, so he mimics it.

Being a pastor's kid or a church staff's kid can be hard.  They're at the church a lot more than most people, and they didn't really sign up for that.  It's just part of their life.  Jakob is here a lot, and he's always being told to follow me, come to my office, stay right there, stop this, stop that, now go to class and act like everything's cool.  It's not easy for a two-year old.  One of my greatest fears is that from overexposure and unhealthy management, Jakob could end up hating the church.  I want to protect him from that.  I want him to love church.  I want him to serve in the church.

Last week, he was at the church with me while Sarah went to get her hair done.  I was leading a small group that night, but I didn't need to get ready right away.  So we played in and around the church.  Wherever he wanted to go, we went there.  However he wanted to play, short of breaking stuff, we did that.  Then we had to transition from play time to my needing to work.  You never know how that will go.  He may throw a fit, because he wants to keep playing.  Jakob has before, but he didn't that time.

We went into the youth and children's room, and I started setting up tables.  Jakob followed me.  As I rolled a table across the room, Jakob walked up next to me and put his hands on the table.  I told him to be careful and asked him what he was doing.  He looked up at me and said, "Help, Dada."  I smiled at him and thanked him.  After we got done setting up tables, which took longer, because I was being careful about not hurting Jakob, I walked to the kitchen.  Jakob followed.  I started getting food out of the oven, and Jakob said, "More help, Dada."  I handed him a plastic bag and asked him to take it to the table and come back.  He did.  When he came back, he said, "More help, Dada."  So I gave him a stack of plates, grabbed all the pizza and followed him.

We got all of the food and drinks set out together.  We were done.  Now, when he and I play games at home or watch something he likes or eat a good snack, when we're done, he'll say, "One more of that."  He only does that for things he likes.  He doesn't say it after we punish him.  We're used to it.  We expect it.  And we usually will allow it, within reason.  After everything was all done, he looked up at me with all sincerity and said, "One more help, Dada."  He had just spent 30 minutes following me around, offering and giving me help.  He wasn't tired of it.  He wanted to help me one more time.  I had nothing left for him to do, so I told him he could hug me instead.  He came over, and I gave him a tight hug.  I told him I loved him, and I thanked him for helping Jesus, not Daddy.  It was late by the time we left, but I wanted to honor what he had done, so I bought him popcorn (his favorite snack), even though it was well after his bed time. I gave it to him and thanked him again for helping me help Jesus.

My two-year old son volunteered to help at church for the first time last week.  I cried tears of joy.  He does love church right now, and he wants to help.  He's already becoming who I want him to be.

Jakob attempting to beat box

I'm assuming that by now you've seen the Cee-Lo Green 7Up commercial.  I think that is a pretty funny and very well done commercial.  I don't like the E-Trade talking baby commercials, because they're just weird, but I can't not love a beat boxing baby.  The other day, Sarah and I were watching something we had recorded on the DVR, and before I could fast forward it, the 7Up commercial started.  Now, Jakob is drawn to music.  He will dance to any TV theme song and just about any commercial that has prominent music, and he gets upset if something musical comes on and you change it or fast forward it.  He wants to enjoy it.  So even though he was leaving the room, I knew he'd turn around and come back to dance along.  What I didn't know was that he would try to beat box along with the commercial.

I went back a couple of times, because I was trying to get my phone ready to record him, and I was trying to record him without the loud sound of our laughter.  So this is the third time he'd seen the commercial, and he is following along to the best of his ability.  He's got a long way to go, but I'm very pleased with his early interest in being completely awesome.

http://vimeo.com/38274107

Maybe someday he can be an outstanding Asian beat boxer, like THIS GUY.

I ask God to handle it, and then act like it's on me

This is Jakob standing on the windowsill of our hotel room last week.  We were 11 stories up, partially overlooking the Ohio River.  Facing this way, we were overlooking the other side of the hotel and N 4th St in Louisville, KY.

Last week, Sarah and Jakob came with me to the Simply Youth Ministry Conference.  Quick promo before the point of the post: that was definitely the best conference I had ever attended.  I learned more than I ever have, and I just scratched the surface.  I didn't have time to learn everything.  But when I wasn't in classes or general sessions, I was trying to spend time with my family, which was just as important to me as the conference.  Having the conference within driving distance made it possible or them to go, and that was a real blessing to me.

The afternoon of the opening session, there were some crazy tornados north of us in Indiana.  I presume you've heard about that.  It was windy in Louisville, but according the weather channel, we didn't have any warnings.  So the three of us went for a walk to the bank and then down to Hard Rock Cafe.  We didn't want to eat there, because it's kind of expensive, so we just walked around.  After Jakob made it clear he didn't want to be in there - which became clear to him when he got to sit by a drum set without any drumsticks - we headed back outside.  I had a tense feeling about being on the street, though, so everyone that passed by got stared at by me.  I felt like my Spidey senses were tingling (*ht Bryan Keeley).  Danger was around us somewhere.

As we headed north on 4th Street, my danger senses were going crazy.  I looked up the road and saw a pick up truck with a lot of lumber in the back, parked next to the curb right before a stoplight.  I looked at Sarah and said, "We're going to walk fast, so we don't get stopped on that corner."  I grabbed her hand and pulled her faster than her normal speed limit.  We hustle to the corner and just catch the light just as it goes to a flashing "Do Not Walk," so we continued quickly to the other side.  Once we reached the other side of the road, we heard the wind pick up violently behind us.  I turned at the sound and saw boards go flying off the back of the truck and knock two large construction workers over with brut force.  A third took a dive to try to avoid the boards, but he was covered by them lying on the ground.  Had we not hurried and crossed the street, we would have been standing right there.  Sarah would have taken at least one 2x4 right in the face.  Jakob may have been trampled as we scrambled to get between him and the boards.  It would have definitely been a dangerous situation.

After seeing that, we went into the sandwich shop just in front of us and decided to stay in there a while.  I was shaken up.  I realized my inability to protect my family.  I kept going over what I saw and what could have happened, and as best as I could figure it, I probably could have pulled Sarah out of the way, but to do so, I would have torn up her knees.  It's more likely that I wouldn't have had time, and she would have been seriously injured in the face.  I felt weak.  I was shaken up.

Two hours later, I sat in general session listening to Francis Chan speak.  He spoke about the arrogance of being in ministry, and how pastors often feel like everything is on us.  We ask God to be involved in our ministries, but when we cannot be there personally, we think it's the end of the world.  Like God can't do great things through anybody, right?  He was speaking strictly about ministry, but I felt my heart stir.  I felt like God was saying, "See!  You ask me everyday to protect them, and I did!  Get over yourself!"  Heart punch.

I was reminded of a great lesson.  Real faith asks God and believes He will accomplish it.  It shows a real lack of faith to ask God to handle something in your life and then act like it can't happen unless you do it.  That's faith in you, not God.  I'd rather place my faith in Him, especially after I was reminded of my own vulnerability last week.

the judge spared me at court last week

I'm not a very patient person.  Well, I guess that depends on how you define "patient."  I have a lot more patience with children and teenagers than most of you.  If I didn't, I would be doing something else with my life.  But I have little patience for waiting.  This led to most of my early marital tussles, because I didn't handle waiting ver well, and Sarah didn't take too kindly to being rushed.  (FYI: I was really annoying about it.  That's not a reflection on her at all.)  I would always get upset whenever I would leave later than I knew I was supposed to, because I knew I'd arrive late.  My mom had this thing she'd always say to me, though, when I would talk about being frustrated for running late: "You don't know what God is sparing you from.  Maybe you would have been in an accident if you had left on time."  She meant it, too.  My mom attributed Sarah's tardiness to Divine intervention.  Women.  Always siding together.  But there's probably some truth to it.  I'm sure there have been times when I have been spared.  Like when we were moving to Florida, and we left 20 minutes later than I had planned.  I was annoyed.  My mom said her thing.  We get into Ohio, and sure enough, we missed a terrible accident involving semis and cars, and it shut down the whole highway.  The scene looked fairly fresh when we arrived.  Maybe we just missed it by about 20 minutes.

Last Wednesday, I had jury duty.  I wasn't overly excited.  I'm a busy guy.  I have many important things to procrastinate on while at my desk.  Having jury duty meant I had to be more efficient with my time if I was going to get everything done I needed to get done.  Who wants that?  So I arrive at 8:00 AM, per my instructions.  I'm one of the first few there, so I pick a nice comfy arm chair to relax in.  Two hours later, I was still in the exact same chair, and its luster had worn off.  I was trying to work, but it was difficult.  So I moved to a chair by a table in the break area.  I sat there another hour.  I worked some, I read some, and I listened to other people's conversations.  I knew something wasn't right.  I had never had jury duty before, but I knew I wasn't there to sit around for the entire morning.  I was told to go back to the main room, because an on-duty jury needed the break room.  So I moved again.

By about this time, I'm really annoyed.  I wanted the table to work.  It's one thing to have me miss work to do my civic duty.  It's another thing to have me sit around doing nothing.  I would have rather worked on something, but now I couldn't do that, either.  I was frustrated, but I didn't make a scene.  I didn't really want to be taken to a court room for any reason other than jury duty.  Finally, we're told to shut off all electronics, because the judge would be coming to address us.  She came in, thanked us for our time, reiterated the importance of our civic duty (because nothing says, "good citizen," like sitting quietly in a room for four hours doing nothing).  Then she said, "I need to tell you what's been going on downstairs and the reason why you've been left up here doing nothing."

She went on to explain that, despite her normal personal rules, she allowed the prosecutor and the defendant to come to a plea agreement.  She said she normally wouldn't allow that right before the trial started.  I thought it was strange, because I've seen a lot of Law & Order, and I know that's not Hollywood normal.  Then she told us why she broke her rule.  The man who was on trial was charged with criminal sexual conduct in the first and second degree, and he was also being charged with creating pornographic materials with children.  She said that if she had brought us downstairs, we would have ended up seeing the evidence, and that included the videos he had made.  So she thought better to allow the plea agreement and spare us from seeing something like that, which we could never unsee.

I'm so glad the judge used her discretion and didn't bring us down to the court room.  I was shook up just knowing I almost saw that.  I would have been completely wrecked if I had actually seen it.  You never know what you are being spared from when you are left waiting, but sometimes, it's worse than a car accident.

don't do that to your kid

As many of you have seen (or maybe you've just heard about it), a potential father of the year candidate recently posted a video on his daughter's Facebook profile as a means of punishment.  Basically, she said that she didn't like the way her parents treated her (with colorful language), and he proved her point by being a complete jerk.  I watched the video after a few friends posted it, claiming this dad was "awesome" and "knew how to handle children."

I was surprised by a couple of things related to this video.  First, I'm surprised any parent anywhere would come up with such an idea.  The second thing I'm surprised by is that the dad was surprised his daughter had a foul mouth and bad attitude.  These kinds of things are inherent, and when your child starts exhibiting this kind of behavior, you may want to step back a minute and look at yourself.  I'm not surprised that neither person who sent it directly to me has kids, because I think once you have kids and love them, you realize how ridiculous this is.

I will never understand the parent who intentionally publicly humiliates his/her child.  Not only is it unbiblical - we'll get there - but it's really kind of an immature response.  It's an adult temper tantrum, really.  It's like you're stomping your feet and saying, "He did something I don't like, and I'm really mad."   You shouldn't do that to your kid.  There is no circumstance under which publicly humiliating your child is okay behavior.  When Jakob throws a tantrum, especially in public, I correct him.  I do not let him think that is okay behavior.  I do not undermine that lesson by throwing a tantrum in return. You'll never read on my Facebook or Twitter pages about how bad Jakob is and how mad he makes me sometimes.  He's a two-year old.  He's going to upset me.  He's going to misbehave.  But I love him, and it's not my goal to have you look down on him for it.

Do you know why I would never tell you when my son is misbehaving?  Because there is one verse on parenting in the Bible that I have memorized and live out.  All parents just love Ephesians 6:1-3.  Why wouldn't we?  But Ephesians 6:4 is what moves me: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord."  Do not provoke your child to anger.  How can you provoke your child to anger?  You can set unreasonable goals for them.  You can always tell them what they do wrong and never affirm them for what they get right.  You can show favoritism to one child and see how quickly the other gets angry.  And you can publicly humiliate your child.  I work with kids, and some of them have experienced public humiliation at the hands of their parents.  Guess what each of these kids has in common.  They hate it.  It upsets them.  It embarrasses them.  It never fixes them.

Here's a closing note.  We set the bar of our expectations for our children by how we treat them.  Often times, he/she will believe what you say about them. If I tell my son that he is an idiot or that he's a screw up and can do nothing right, then I have set the bar very low for him.  He will not have to work very hard to achieve what he thinks his limits are.  So if you tell your child he's an idiot, and he acts like one, you should take him out for ice cream.  He managed to achieve what you told him was possible for him.  But maybe it's a better idea if you just don't do that to your child.

at my dad's church

I'll be upfront with you right away.  I'm about to brag on my children's ministry volunteers.  Why?  Well, I can, and because they are worth bragging about.

Recently, a guy from church wanted to share the story of his son's baptism with me.  He was baptized at his mom's church, because that's what his mom wanted, and as a young man, he kind of liked the whole production value of this church's baptisms.  The church records interviews with those that are to be baptized and have them explain what brought them to that decision.  I'm not knocking the idea.  I think it's great.  But when they asked this young man how he came to accept Jesus, he began his answer with, "Well, at my dad's church..."  Most subsequent answers started the same way.  They tried wording questions differently to get a more usable answer from him, but that's what they kept getting.  The day he was baptized, the video was shown, and not knowing differently, the lead pastor said, "When he says, 'my dad's church,' he's talking about this church.'"  Of course, he wasn't, but I really don't think the pastor knew that.

This young man goes to our church every other week.  He has come up through the ranks, if you will.  Our toddler and preschool teachers had him for four years.  He's been in our elementary ministry for about four more years.  When asked what brought him to wanting to accept Jesus as Savior, his answer was, "at my dad's church..."  Why?  Because at his dad's church, he's taught the Bible faithfully by faithful volunteers.  Years before I ever came here, this was run solely by volunteers.  Many of those volunteers are still here, still serving, still giving what they've got, so that boys and girls can come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.  Sometimes working silently in children's ministry can feel like behind the scenes work, but there is reward.  There are kids who come to know Jesus through their work.  I love my volunteers.  I'm proud to be associated with them.  These volunteers make my job doable, they make my job desirable, and most importantly, they make an impact on the lives of children that will last for an eternity.

kids say the most spiritual things

I love being a children's pastor.  I'm not sure how good I am at it.  I marvel at some of the children's pastors that I follow.  I have no idea how they can be so organized, driven, and good at this when I often feel like I'm getting by.  But even getting by, I love what I do.  Part of the reason I love it is because I get to hear what kids are saying.  I know a lot more about the parents in this church than they think I know, because kids don't have a filter.  A story about Christmas morning can really turn into a story about anything.  I sometimes wonder how some of the parents would react if I ever told them what their kids tell me.  The good thing for them is that I hear a lot, and I don't remember whose story goes with what kid and parent.

Kids don't just rat out their families.  They say some pretty outstanding things.  I assume we're all familiar with "Kids Say the Darndest Things," between one of its runs, but it's not just the darndest things they say.  They also say some of the most spiritual things.

Sunday morning, I was teaching the elementary kids about why Jesus was referred to as the Lamb of God.  So I talked a little bit about Old Testament sacrifice (without getting graphic).  I talked about our need for a greater sacrifice, and how God provided that through Jesus.  I told them that God must love us so much to give us a gift like that.  Then a kid raised his hand.  Now, I know not to call on this kid.  It's a standard rule of mine, because the answer always deviates to vampires, werewolves, fights, and video games.  No matter what I'm asking, he circles back to his staples, and it scares some of the younger kids.  So I generally make him wait and tell me after I'm done teaching.  In fact, I try to only call on kids when I'm asking a question that needs answering, because otherwise, I have no idea where it's going, especially with this kid.  But there was something in his face, so I did call on him, and I'm glad he did.  Here's what he said:

"My dad says that he thinks God hates him.  I told him that's not true, but he keeps saying it.  I think he thinks that, because he and my mom are divorced, but I know God loves him.  I tell my dad that. He always says that God must hate him, because bad stuff keeps happening, but I told him that just because bad things happen doesn't mean God doesn't love him.  It's just that sometimes we make bad mistakes, and then things happen.  It's not God's fault.  He still loves us."

I feel like I should tell you that this little guy did not grow up in church, and he's only been attending church for a few months. I think he's getting it, though.  On a separate note, another little boy asked me on Sunday why we have to give money in the offering, when in the Old Testament, they gave animals.  I tried to quickly explain the difference in our economies.  Kids say the most spiritual things.  Pastors get suckered into giving lame answers that none of the kids care about.