are you bitter?

Are you a bitter person?  Most would readily say that no, they are not a bitter person.  Do you harbor bitterness towards anyone?  Again, most would say that they do not.  But have you completely forgiven those that have wronged you, holding no ill feelings towards them?  This is a harder question, and it is a revealing question.  It's easy to say we have forgiven, but harder to get rid of ill feelings.  These negative emotions we associate with other people reveal that we have no truly forgiven the person.  And do you know what that is?  At the very least, it's a root of bitterness, which is a dangerous thing.

Hebrews 12:15 says, "Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many."  It doesn't warn against full blown bitterness, where someone walks around with a chip on their shoulder, mean mugging everyone as they go.  It warns against the poisonous root of it.  Just the kindling ambers that could grow into a raging inferno.  This is deep down in the heart, where it may not yet be visible to anyone else.  But it gets there.  In my own life, I have seen it get there.  And then it starts seeping out of your mouth, and others hear, and now your bitterness is no longer a personal issue.  It is corrupting anyone who has the misfortune of hearing you speak.

Who do you need to forgive fully?  I understand that someone may have seriously hurt or offended you.  I have been seriously hurt and offended, too.  But you know what?  Remaining unforgiving and holding onto bitterness doesn't hurt them.  It is just a way for you to allow them to continue hurting you, well after they have done anything.

our calm in the storm

As Sarah was laying on the bed upset, Jakob came to her and asked, "Are you okay, Mommy?  Are you sad?"  She answered honestly.  She wasn't okay, and she was very sad.  He said, "Here, take a drink of my apple juice, and you will be okay."  What a silly thought for a three-year old to have, right?  Not really.  He was sick a few months ago with a very sore throat, and he would cough himself awake.  He would cry, because the coughing hurt, and the crying hurt, so he would cry some more.  So every time he coughed himself awake and began to cry, we would say, "Here, take a sip of your apple juice.  You're okay."  He has since believed that drinking from a juice box is what brings comfort.

Did you know that he loves few things more than a juice box?  I think Sarah and me and our cat Simon might be the only things he loves more.  So for him to offer Sarah a drink of from his juice box while she was upset is a way of him saying, "I love you, Mommy, more than anything, and I want you to be happy more than I want this juice box."  He is a sweet child.  He is compassionate.  Seeing others, especially us, upset really messes with him.  Even his teacher noted that he cannot concentrate when others are upset, because he is a caring child.

The truth is that Jakob is our greatest comfort when we are sad.  Yes, we have a relationship with God, and we have a relationship with each other, but Jakob brings a joy and calm and in our storms that cannot be easily explained.  He is an unimaginable gift from God everyday, and it is especially evident on days when we are hurting.  When we are upset, he is very attentive.  He will quit whatever he is doing to hug us, often without being asked.  He will offer us anything he has to try to make us feel better.  He will rub his hands on our heads, imitating how we rub his hair when we're comforting him.  He evens assures us that it will be okay.  "You're okay.  Right, Mommy?"

I do not know Jakob's great purpose for the rest of his life, but I know how God uses him today.  He brings joy to us, to others that know him, and even to strangers that see him in public.  He is also a great entertainer.  I was at first envious of the joy he could bring Sarah when I was unable to at times.  But I get it now.  He brings calm to our hearts when storms of life rage around us.  I thank God for him every day.  I love him.

 

everybody hurts

Life brings pain.  It is a fact of life.  No matter how young or old you are, you will face it.  Some Christians are under the impression that pain is born out of sin or making God unhappy.  This was a prevailing theory in Jesus' time, as well.  In John 9, Jesus and His disciples come upon a blind man, and the disciples asked Him if it was because of his sin or his parents' sin that he was blind.  Jesus corrects them and informs them that it was for neither reason, but so that God could be glorified through him.

When you approach pain with the mindset that it is due to some grave mistake, you open yourself up for doubting God.  If pain is a result of wrongdoing, then why do bad things happen to good people?  It can lead you to doubting yourself.  What am I doing wrong?  Why can't I please God?  Am I just terrible and unforgivable?  It can be really defeating.

Pain is real, and it is a result of the fallen world in which we live.  It is true that sometimes our pain is brought on by our own mistakes, but other times, it is outside of our control.  Having a grasp on pain, why it exists, and how God can use it to make you flourish can be life changing.  So that is why we will spend the next 5 weeks in youth group discussing different types of pain, how to handle them, and how to lean on God, because I want our teenagers to flourish.  We will ask, "Does God still love me?  If so, why do I hurt?"  We will also look at how to deal with the pains of loss, rejection, suffering, and growing up.

1 Peter 1:6-7 says, "So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."