we entered His courts

This past weekend, our church youth group combined with the youth groups of Connections Community Church and Oakwood Bible Church to put on our winter retreat.  It was an incredibly fun time, and we're planning to do it again next year.  Friday night took a fun break for a moment to be a little serious.  We extended the evening session a bit to address two things: a clear opportunity to follow Christ for the first time and an extended time to worship.  This was going to be big, and there were certainly roadblocks to get around.  I was teaching, and I was already worrying about Jakob (whose doctor thought had a staph infection) and then I was worrying about Zac (who had been concussed on the ice).  We dealt with emotional issues that day, as well, as things weighed heavy on some of the students.  Steve was also dealing with issues that day with his group, and Mike was continuing to come down sick.  The gauntlet was thrown at us, and it felt like it was a direct attack at what we were planning for that night.

The session finally rolled around, and it felt to me like it took forever getting there, and so we started.  The games went well, worship went well, and from what I'm told, my message went well.  Then came the opportunity and challenge to place one's faith in Christ.  I was nervous.  It had been a nerve-filled day, but that wasn't stopping what we were doing.  I asked those who had never placed their faith in Christ before to do so, and then I asked for those that did to raise their hands.  And several did, including some from our group.  What a feeling!

While I was finishing, Mike came up to play his guitar softly behind me.  When I ended, he immediately began leading the kids in worshiping God in song.  I walked away, went back to pray and thank God, and eventually joined up with the group again.  As I stood there worshiping, standing next to a girl I knew had just raised her hand saying she had placed her faith in Christ, something magnificent occurred to me: there were several people in that room who were entering God's courts with praise for the very first time.  And man, that felt special.  It's an unmatched feeling.

Psalm 100:4

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name."

it's better to get it right

I really do love Sarah, but what good is my loving her to her if I do not show her in a way that makes her feel loved?  You see, I like to think of myself as a world class husband.  It's more comfortable than thinking I'm an idiot.  I'll leave those thoughts and feelings to others that no doubt exist.  But I have been told that I am a good husband by more than just Sarah.  The thing is, though, it doesn't really matter if you or anyone else thinks I'm doing a good job as a husband.  It is only Sarah's perception that matters.  I would say that there have been times when others thought I was a good husband, but Sarah was hoping for something better out of me.  You know why?  Because she lives with me and experiences my best and worst.

So recently, feeling like I was slipping and not making Sarah as happy as I should be, I asked Sarah if I could be better.  She was hesitant at first, but she eventually told me the things I normally do that bother her.  I have been trying to be better in these areas over the last few months, and I periodically ask her how I'm doing with them.  It's a really uncomfortable question for me to ask, and I'm sure it is uncomfortable for her to answer when the answer won't be great, but to me, it's worth having the conversation.  I'd rather hear what's wrong with me from her, and try to get it right.  It makes things easier for me knowing that my wife truly loves me and isn't mean or spiteful.  I know she'll be honest, but she won't be intentionally hurtful about anything.

Marriage can be difficult.  It's designed to be a lifelong enterprise, but it takes upkeep, maintenance, and effort.  Often, when marriage feels difficult, we easily make lists in our heads of things our spouses could be doing better to make our marriage better.  It may be better to ask your spouse how you can make your marriage better.  Better to be told what you can do, so you can get it right, than to assume the problem is all theirs while you are completely right.