Please pray for us

I am heading to Nashville tomorrow with 23 students and 6 adults.  While we are there, we will be serving the community in different areas.  This year will be different than last year, in that we will be working with preexisting charities and organizations.

Here's how you can pray for us:

• Safety as we travel


• Team Unity (no drama!)


• Big impact for Jesus in the community


• That the excitement will carry over when we return

To e-mail a camper, go to www.groupweekofhope.com, and click on “E-mail a Camper.”  (It’s at the top right of the page.) Select, “Nashville, TN - Week of Hope” in the drop down box.  Enter the name of the camper you want to e-mail.  We will not be able to reply, but we will be blessed by your e-mail!

I would be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to an adopted YG friend, Marni White, who actually e-mailed all of our campers last year, knowing exactly 0 kids and leaders from my YG, and only knowing me so far as I let everyone into my life through Twitter and my blog (and now Facebook, because we're legit friends like that).  But there's a challenge to you, KCC.  A lady from Texas who has never met our students sent everyone an e-mail.  Can you match her?

take your kid out

This will be my final post for a while on making your kids feel special, not because there are only three ways, but because even my cyber attention span is short.

Take your kids out somewhere: out to eat, out for coffee (if they're not an already tightly wound 6-year old), out shopping for stuff they want.  I'm not saying you should take all of your kids out at once and leave your spouse at home, although he/she may like the sound of that.  Take them out as individuals, because they are individuals with unique personalities, ideas, and things they would like to talk to you about.

I did not like breakfast food much growing up, but there were few things I enjoyed more than every other Saturday morning when I was in middle school.  Why?  Because every other Saturday, I got to go to breakfast with my dad at the Cheshire Restaurant.  My brother Dan went on the other weeks. I would eat toast with jelly.  I don't remember ever getting anything else, because I wasn't into anything else by that point.  It wasn't the food that made it enjoyable.  It was spending time with my dad.  He'd listen to whatever I wanted to talk about, answer my many questions about life and the Bible, and tell me how special I was to him.

Take your kid out.  Taking your kid to work with you (so they can be additional/free labor), taking them shopping for school clothes that they do not like, and running errands with them doesn't really count for many kids.  Remember: what you see as quality time may not be considered the same by your child.  Just like what your spouse considers a nice evening out may not be the same thing you consider a nice evening out.  Cater to your kids when you take them out.  They're worth it.

celebrate your kids

On Friday, I started a series of posts about making your kid feel special.  Some of what I will write is based on my experience as my parents' child, and some is based on my experiences with Jakob, young as he is.  Today, I continue that series with part two, and hopefully part three will post on Thursday.  We will see.

My mom and dad were always my biggest fans growing up.  They were totally into whatever I did, and not just because I'm their favorite.  They supported my siblings in their ventures, too.  At least one parent was at every game I ever played in my illustriously short sports career.  They showed up for church related competition (yes, those existed, odd as it sounds).  I don't think they ever missed a parent-teacher conference.  My mom and dad even drove all the way to Florida to sit through a college graduation ceremony that was way too long and way too hot.  They've always been in my corner.

My parents may have over-celebrated, or I may have taken their celebration too seriously.  In my mind, I was a basketball god, a brick wall soccer goalie, and the greatest storyteller to ever pick up a Bible, an easel, and a stack of colored poster boards.  As I grew older but not taller, I began to realize that my parents loved me and saw me a way no one else did.  Despite my waning ability to keep up with others athletically, my parents didn't waver in their support.  They weren't fair weathered fans, because no such thing truly exists.  They were fans - fanatics - and their children made up their favorite team.

I think the most important part was that they celebrated my performance, not my victories.  They taught me the values of winning and losing, and doing both with grace, but I never felt like they were let down by the losses.  They always had something good to say about what I had done, regardless of outcome.  My dad would always take me aside and tell me how I could do even better, as opposed to yelling at me at telling me how I had screwed up.

My parents still celebrate what I do.  I know they'll read this, because they are still in my corner.  The next time I preach in big church, I know they will be there.  They are still excited and interested in my life.  They have taught me the importance of celebrating my child.  So if you see me clapping when Jakob obeys me, tries to open the door for Sarah, or just stands up after stumbling, don't think I'm too weird.  I'm just starting early.

talk about your kids

I want to try to post a small series of ways you can make your children feel special, based on my experience being raised by my mom and dad.

Parents do not struggle to talk about their kids.  I sometimes get the feeling that some people take joy in talking negatively about their kids, like it's almost cathartic for them.  When I say, "talk about your kids," I'm obviously not speaking of this nonsense.  In fact, I highly discourage you talk about your kids in a negative light to other people, because they just may find out what you're saying about them.

I heard what my dad said about me.  He didn't know I was in the room and listening, but I was.  I stopped what I was doing to listen.  My dad has taught Sunday school for years, and for a long time, his class met in the auditorium.  I joined the tech ministry at our church, which meant I had to leave my class early to go set up the computer, which was located in the balcony of the main auditorium.  So I would listen to my dad teach, because I think he's funny and interesting.  I had been sitting through the second half of his class for weeks, and I never told him.  It just didn't occur to me to tell him.  Then one Sunday, I'm half listening and half paying attention to the pastor's powerpoint presentation, to make sure it was legible (God bless him, he must have really liked the colors blue and red, because he had red text on dark blue backgrounds a lot.  That's not very legible).  So as I'm updating the color scheme, I hear my dad say my name, so I stopped and listened.  He wanted to tell his class about me.

I don't know what my dad was teaching about that day, but I assume it had to do with love or marriage.  He wanted to give his class an example of how a husband should love his wife, and he chose me.  He talked about how much he had seen me grow, how I was someone anyone could look up to - even him - and how I lived out the verses in Ephesians about a man loving his wife like Christ loved the church.  I sat in stone silence, mouth slightly agape, listening to the man I've always looked up to more than anyone telling his Sunday school class - comprised of mostly senior citizens - that I was someone to look up to and follow.  I had tears in my eyes.  That was the day I told him that I had been attending his Sunday school for weeks, and I thanked him for what he said.

He reminded me that he had said those same things to my face a number of times, but somehow, hearing him talk about me meant more than hearing him talk to me.  He could have said anything.  He could have said nothing at all.  He chose to praise me to his peers.

Why do I talk about Jakob so much?  Because I hope he one day remembers the first time he noticed that I talk about him.  And I'm very careful about what I say about him, because I want that to be a great memory for him, just as it was for me.

Happy Father's Day, especially to my dad, John Selph.  If only all dads could be like him.

Twenty Years Behind (they stole my childhood)

E.T. is a classic movie.  Everyone recognizes its imagery, quotes, and candies.  It has been seen by millions, and on Friday, it was finally seen by one more: me.  I had always wanted to see it, but I never had.  As I've told people that I hadn't seen it before Friday, I've gotten pretty much the same reaction from each of them: a look of dismay, maybe even pity, and the inevitable question: "What do you mean you'd never seen it before?"  It's not that my friends aren't smart and struggle to understand what I meant by my simply crafted sentence.  Not seeing E.T., the biggest kids movie maybe ever, even though it came out in the 80's when I was a kid, is what an unbelieving world finds so unbelievable  (or something like that).

So why didn't I see E.T. before Friday night?  There are a number of guesses one might have.  I'm pretty sure I know the answer, if not specifically, at least in general: evangelists.  Evangelists stole my childhood.  I don't dislike all evangelists, mind you.  I love one in particular.  But in general, I have never really been a big fan of them.  Our pastor would announce that some hotshot evangelist was coming, maybe a recognizable name to many of the adults, and I would shake on the inside like my dog shakes when, well, she's awake.  I knew I was going to lose something, and it was probably going to be something I loved.  They never talked about stupid stuff, like the evils of Little House on the Prairie or The Waltons.  Then my mom would have felt my pain, as her beloved shows were taken from her on merely on the whim of a dude in a black suit.

I am twenty years behind on some things.  I have caught up with E.T. finally, but there are still cultural lags.  If I go see the Smurfs this Summer, I may not know exactly what's going on.  Classic rock stations can just be called rock stations, because for me, most of it is new stuff.  My secular music knowledge takes a break after the Monkees and Roy Orbison and picks up again about three years ago.

Just for fun, here is a list of things I lost at the hands of an evangelist(s):

• E.T. (I could not confirm with my parents, as they were unavailable for comment.  That is to say, they did not answer when I called them this morning.)


• Ninja Turtles


• He-Man


• Smurfs


• Halloween/trick-or-treating


• Good music (at least they protected me from the Christian rock of the 80's)


• X-Men (they deserve credit for pegging the evolutionary undertones, but still)


• The Ultimate Warrior (only briefly, as my dad was also a big WWF fan)


• Beauty and the Beast (not a huge loss, but a huge stretch on the bestiality claims)


• my childhood

Oh well.  I got to see E.T. in a theater on Friday, and it was like going to see a brand new movie for only $4 a ticket.  I guess I should thank somebody.

And just in case you're wondering, I don't blame my parents for much of anything.  They did what they believed was in my best interest spiritually.  They are great parents that have always cared about me.

five things I'm excited about

This Summer is going to be hectic.  The weeks leading up to Summer have been crazy enough. So partly because of that, and partly because I'm a little lazy and uninspired when it comes to writing, I haven't written much.  Well, to be fair, I have expressed myself wonderfully at least once per week, and then I delete the post at the end, because I don't want to deal with the reactions.  It's easier that way.  I guess I could save drafts, edit them, and post a more palatable version, but writing unedited and deleting at the end is more therapeutic (and less hassle) for me.  So, just in case you're wondering (and you're not) what I'm up to or will be doing this Summer, here are five things I'm excited about.

1.  Jonny Lang and Buddy Guy

Two weeks from Friday, I'm taking Sarah to see Jonny Lang.  Buddy Guy is great, but he's not a household favorite, so we're not as excited to see him.  We managed to get tickets for $15 each after ridiculous fees to see him.  We're going with our friends Todd and Amanda.

2.  Mission Trip to Nashville

The next day, I'm leaving with a bunch of students and adults to go to Nashville.  We'll be serving in the community down there for a week.  This is made more exciting by number 3.

3.  Eating at Chick-Fil-A at least five times when I'm in Nashville.

Delicious.

4.  Family time.

You thought about skipping this, because you assumed I was going to talk about Sarah and Jakob.  Well, you're wrong.  I'm not going to talk about how awesome they are and how much I love them.  Instead, I'm excited that I will see all of my siblings, nephews, and nieces at once for the first time since 2006.  Three of them didn't even exist yet (Pepper, Jakob, and Gabe <--birth order).  The men are going to a Tigers game, and then we're getting family pictures done later in the week.  It should be glorious!

5.  10th anniversary festivities

This year, we will have been married ten years.  We cannot afford to do some of the things we'd like to do, so I'm getting creative.  Can't tell you how, because Sarah doesn't know, but it will be majestic.

Jakob on the trampoline

Jakob is a bit of a daredevil for a kid his age.  He likes to jump onto things, fall off of things with the expectation that I will catch him (even if I didn't previously know his plans), and run from point A to point B.  He's a fun kid.  He really likes playing with Zach and Logan G, because they play less cautiously with him than his mom or their mom.  Here's a video of him on the trampoline from about a month ago.  What might annoy and frustrate another kid just makes him laugh.