I'm not thankful, but I am thankful

Today is Thanksgiving, and people traditionally talk about the things they are thankful for on this day each year. This year I've noticed on the interwebs that saying one thing you are thankful for each day on Facebook and Twitter is trending. I have withheld from this practice, not because I am not thankful, but because to do so would mean for me to have an attention span that lasted 26 days. 26 minutes would be pushing it. Instead, I write this post all at once.

To be quite honest, I'm not thankful for everything I experience in life, but not being thankful for one thing should cause me to be thankful for it's counterpart. Here's an abridged list of things I'm not thankful for, followed by the thing I am thankful for on the flip side.

• I am not thankful for people who drive slowly in the left lane on the highway (if you didn't know, going 5 mph over in the left lane is considered slow)
• I am thankful for the average speed in the left lane being 10-15 over in Michigan.

• I am not thankful for times when my wife is sad, depressed, angry, or any combination of the three.
• I am thankful that I have her, that she is there for me when I feel any of those ways, and that I get to be there for her when she is. I'm also thankful that I no longer tend to make her feel that way. Maybe I'm growing up or learning to be less selfish!
  

• I am not thankful for pain and struggles.
• I am thankful for what God does with that in my life.

• I am not thankful for poopy diapers or the cost of clean diapers.
• I am thankful for that beautiful son of mine that causes us to buy diapers and then fills them up.
  

• I am not thankful for having to go back to the store, because the item I bought was incomplete or broken.
• I am thankful that I have the money to buy faulty products and the gas to go back and forth.
  

• I am not thankful for shirts and pants that don't fit anymore.
• I am thankful that I've apparently always had more than enough food to eat.
  

• I'm not thankful for living far away from members of my family.
• I am thankful that despite the times I've been away, as well as now with Steve and Dan being away, my family has maintained about the best relationships of any family I know.
  

• I am not thankful for that guy on E Main that always walks out in front of my car (and others), yelling and pointing like he wants to fist fight my car.
• I am thankful that I've been able to avoid accidentally hitting him with my car. I'm also thankful that my parents taught me not to play in the street.

• I am not thankful for pan handling.
• I am thankful that I have a job and no need to pan handle.
  

• I am not thankful for Pharisees.
• I am thankful that Jesus taught us to ignore people who add requirements to His love, which happens to be free.
  

• I am not thankful for green gummy bears (they bring down the whole bag).
• I am thankful for gummy bears in general.
  

• I am not thankful for country music.
• Seriously, I'm not thankful for country music.
  

• I am not thankful for anti-Semites.
• I am thankful that Jesus is a Jew. That makes the score Jews: 1; anti-Semites: 0.
  

There are probably other things but seriously, I didn't want this post to be 8 pages long. Those are just some highlights.

thankful.

Jeff's gonna totally kill me for this post.

he knows he's good to me, but it's not something he brags himself on. because he's just doing what God commanded him to do. to love his wife as He loves the church. one shouldn't brag about something he does, that he's commanded to do.

so i'll brag on him.

Jeff and Jakob are 2 of the best things that have ever happened to me. Jeff and i have been together for about 10 years now. it hasn't been easy. God seems to test us every year. whether it's financially, difficulties in our marriage (which is an issue for every couple, but which really hasn't been an issue for us since our first 10ish months of marriage:), hellish work schedules, or the big one, the accident in 2002. through it all, Jeff's been faithful, encouraging, understanding, supportive and loving to me.

never has he made me feel that any of our difficulties/disagreements were my fault. (unless they were:) and even then, he would not outright blame me.)
never has he been unfaithful to me. in fact, he goes out of his way to see he never is.
never has he made me feel unimportant.
never has he discounted my feelings (that sounds way sappier than i care for). when i'm upset, he'll give me space, and when i'm ready for him, he'll console and assuage me like no one else.
never has he left my side. he stayed with me every night at the hospital after the accident (except one night when they made him leave). he kicked a nurse out of my room that he felt was harsh and mean to me. he came to all my doctors appointments. he came to all the therapy sessions he could. and once he had to go back to work, he spent all of his lunches being my nurse when i couldn't do much for myself.
never has he thought less of me or made me feel like less of a person (said if the accident would have happened before we'd been married, he'da carried me down the aisle).
never has he gone a day without saying "i love you" to me at least 5 times.

no person has loved me like he does. and i'm so grateful and thankful and lucky beyond belief that he is Jakob's father. Jeff is the only person i trust to raise Jakob to be a Godly, faithful, loving, caring man. (he'll also let him be a mama's boy because he knows how much i need Jakob to love me as he [Jeff] does:)

so, thank you, Jeff. you are my everything. there is no one like you. i could never explain how much i love you or how much you mean to me or how blessed i am to have you. you are my best friend, and the person i can tell anything to. you make it easy for me to love you. and that's as it should be.

so for anyone who thinks it's crazy that he's this good to me, or that sometimes he doesn't need to do all that he does and support me the way he does.... shutup. don't take this from him. just pray that your daughters and nieces and sisters can be blessed enough to be married to someone who will love her like Christ.

the Shema - it's not just for the Jews

Figuring out what parts of the Old Testament are to be followed today and what parts are not can be tricky. I am not going to try to explain to you how you can do that today. Fortunately for you, I only want to talk about one specific part of the Old Testament, and tell you why I think it's so important. It's called the Shema, and it is a very good summary of our intentions in raising Jakob. We were asked by the baby dedication coordinator for verses that best illustrate our desire to raise Jakob in a Godly fashion, and we gave her the Shema. For the goys that read my blog, the Shema is Deuteronomy 6:4-9. I know it's confusing, because it starts out, "Hear, oh Israel..." I happen to know that not all believers are part of Israel. By the way, did you know that even Michael Jackson was a fan of the Shema? Yup, it's true. A lot of people think he wsa saying "sham on," as a variation of "c'mon," but really, he was saying "Shema!" Okay, maybe not. So does this passage apply? Let's break it down (Shema!).

v. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.
Hey, Gentile believers, your God is one, too. Jesus says so in Matthew 23:9. And, just to clear matters up, He and His Father are one, as He points out in John 10:30.

v. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Jesus reiterates this point in Mark 12:30. I guess you've still got to do that.

v. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts
Jesus is still talking about having and keeping His commandments in John 14:21.

v. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Ephesians 6:4 might be the most misquoted verse by Christian children, especially those in trouble with their parents, who happen to believe in paddling. However, this verse is reaffirming the need to raise your kids with an understanding of what God expects from them, not warning you against punishing your child.

v. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
Now this is a tricky part. We don't run around wearing phylacteries, so does that mean that we do not need this verse? Nope. Hands are representative of action, and our foreheads are representative of thinking. Do we still need to think and do with the ways of God in mind? Philippians 4:8 covers thinking (which is always good to do before doing anything), and the next verse, Philippians 4:9, covers the doing.

v. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Okay, so the New Testament doesn't say anything about writing God's laws on your house. I'll concede this point, but it does have a lot to say about what goes on in the house, especially regarding your own family. Ephesians 5 and 6 talk a lot about that.

And that settles that. Yes? Thank you. So, without any further ado (not that you knew it was coming), here is Jakob's baby dedication.

Jakob's baby dedication from Jeff Selph on Vimeo.

super chump

Yelling at people on the side of the road is a great idea, in theory, but it doesn't always work out as well as you had hoped. It may work out for a little bit, but eventually you're going to run into a Super Chump. Super Chump wants to kill you, and goes out of his way to try to do just that. This happened to me and a friend of mine. Obviously, he was unsuccessful in his attempt to kill us, but he gave it a good go.

It all started innocently enough. One day after high school, Dan and I were heading to our employer to pick up our paychecks. Standing on the road on our way was a guy hitch hiking. I saw him up ahead, put down my window, and yelled to him, "GET A CAR, CHUMP!" He switched fingers momentarily. On the way back by, we yelled at him again, but we shortened it to just a strong, "CHUMP!" I thought this was hilarious, so I shared it with my friend, who I went selling ads for journalism class with. We decided that it would be good to implement "chumping" on a grand scale. And we did, and it was fun, and nobody got hurt. We had rules for chumping, too: You couldn't chump someone that was on the job, women were out of the question, anyone walking a child was off limits, the elderly were a medical risk with their old hearts, and then the last rule (added after the following story): no chumping anyone that looks like they just might have a car close by.

Charley and I were out "selling ads," when we drove by a church parking lot. We thought that there would no safer chumping experience than getting someone in a church parking lot during the week. Right? Wrong. We drove by, chumped the guy, and kept right on going. We didn't get far down the road when this guy flies up on our tail. It's the one we just chumped. He's yelling and waving his hands with varying numbers of fingers at a given time. Charley punches it, and his Honda Accord laughed at him. We make a few turns, hoping he'll give up and go back to whatever holy calling he had at the church, but he didn't. He went so far as to ram the the back of the car while we were going 45 MPH.

We decided that we needed to go somewhere very public with lots of people, so we went to Meijer. This did not deter him. He stayed on our tail. He even cornered us, and forced Charley to stop the car. He got out of his car, proclaiming his intention to expletively kick our expletives, while we shrieked our apologies to him through the window. He turned to get something from his car, and Charley took off again. After many more roads, twists, and turns, we ended up on the busiest street in that part of town. It was a four lane road, so he was able to pull up next to us, and he did. He yelled some more encouragement our way, threw something at the car, and sped off. The nightmare was over, but the legend of Super Chump would live on forever.

This might deter some people from ever chumping again, but it didn't stop us. We were stupid. I was stupid. I don't recommend it. This is just another example of me being stupid.

I wish I had a better life verse

What's with the life verse? What does it mean to you when a verse is your life verse? Does that verse sum up your life or your aspirations or your ideals? What does it do? The two I've heard most often are "be ye holy, for I AM holy," and, "For God's so loved the world..." I'm not sure what it means to have either of these as your life verse. I can't say that I am holy, so that verse is out, and I don't love the world like God does, so I don't really want to claim that as mine, either.

I guess I've often claimed 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 as my life verses, because I felt like trouble was inevitable, and I want to be solid like Paul as I go through it. The funny thing is that I claimed these verses when I was in junior high, when my greatest concern was girls not liking me because of my pint size. Anyway, ask anyone that knows me well (like Tom; he can tell you for sure), and they will tell you that when trouble comes, I am distressed. If I don't understand where things are going, I do despair. At least I'm not forsaken or destroyed, because keeping me from that would be God's department. At least He doesn't flip out like me.

I realize that my life verse right now, and what I want it to be are completely different. Right now, my life verse is probably Mark 9:24, at least the second part: "I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief." I toe the line between belief and unbelief so many times, and I think that keeps me from being able to say my life verse is what I want it to be. I hope that I get to a point in my life where 1 Corinthians 11:1 can be the verse that best describes my life: "Follow me, as I also follow Christ." Paul said it. I hope I can, too, especially to Jakob.

lukewarm is better than cold

Mythbusters - elderly like help from Jeff Selph on Vimeo.

Yes, lukewarm is better than cold Christianity, based on the misuse of cold and lukewarm in many churches. I grew up being taught that according to Revelation 3:16, God would prefer for you to be completely rebellious to Him than be a "lukewarm Christian." The implication is that God would rather have you "quit faking it," by going to church on the weekend but living the life of a sinner throughout the week. I guess a Holy God would want you to live in utter debauchery than to try, but not hard enough, and continue missing the mark. That's pretty much what this teaching boils down to. Here's where I got confused as a kid, though: the will of God for you is holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3). Unless He doesn't understand His own will, these teaching is ridiculous. Unless He contradicts Himself, this doesn't work.

God, through John, was making reference to the water system of Laodicea, Hierapolis, and Colossae. Hierapolis had hot springs, used for medicinal purposes; Colossae had cold springs, which were refreshing; Laodicea had tepid, lukewarm water that was good for nothing. That's the lukewarm that nauseates God. God doesn't want you to be useless. He wants you to reach sin sick world with Jesus Christ, and He wants you to be a source of refreshment to weary people in the world (which, by the way, we as Christians have been traditionally horrible at). When God said He preferred for you to be cold, He didn't mean rebellious or carnal. So don't quit trying to please God, because you know you will fail. He wouldn't prefer that at all.

And that is pretty much sums up week 2 of the mythbusters series in REACH Student Ministries.

who's arm will you write on?

I am happy to introduce my guest blogger today. She is my wife and my best friend. Here name is Sarah. We've been married for just over 8 years. I asked her to write today, because today is To Write Love on Her Arms Day, and she understands why this day is so important. So without any further jibba jabba on my part, I introduce my beautiful wife's blog post:



**I wanted to add this note, for anyone who thinks this couldn't possibly be a problem with people in their family. My wife was raised in a good, Christian home, with parents, grandparents, and an Aunt Sue that loved her. This isn't a problem just for the unsaved, the broken homes, and the unloved. Welcome to a fallen world. Enjoy your stay.**
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wiktionary defines depression as a state of mind producing serious, long-term lowering of enjoyment of life, or a period of unhappiness or low morale which lasts longer than several weeks and may include ideation of self-inflicted [hey, that's the name of this blog!] injury or suicide.
it's actually harder than it sounds.
when i was a junior in high school, i was depressed. so i can tell you that it's not just a made up condition that sad people use as a cop out.
i can't tell you what triggered it, but i can tell you that God saved me from it. some people use anti-depressants, some people just don't ever get over it. in my case, i'm not depressed anymore, but the devil knows it's an easy in with me, and he still tempts me with it. boo on him, though, God's given me victory over it.
it was the hardest thing i've ever been through. harder than temporarily losing the lower half of my body in our car accident, because when i was depressed, i was not walking with God. every symptom you hear on those anti-depressant commercials is true. i had a lack of interest in people, in school, and i had a hard time concentrating at school and at work. i had a total feeling of loneliness and hopelessness. i had no hope for the future, and i felt like the only relief i could get was death - suicide was something that i had seriously contemplated, and almost attempted. any consolation from my friends or family was futile, because to a depressed person, it just doesn't matter. not because i didn't appreciate it, but because depression is an all-encompassing state of mind. a friend of mine anonymously reported me to our school counselor because she noticed i was different and distant, and she was concerned. depressed people also don't like to talk about their depression. my counselor asked me how i felt, if i wanted to die.... i, of course, was not up for discussing it. i told her that i did want to die, but i did not tell her why because i did not know why. i just knew i was sad when i woke up in the morning, sad throughout the day, sad when i'd cry myself to sleep every night.
a friend asked me how i got over the depression. and i honestly don't remember. at one point between my junior and senior year, i decided to walk with God again. of course, it wasn't something that happened overnight, but God seamlessly brought me out of my depression and healed my heart.
i do still struggle with depression sometimes. sometimes i feel sad without knowing why. but unlike before, it doesn't last.
happy To Write Love On Her Arms Day. a huge thanks to this organization for helping people through their depression, addiction and self-injury.
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I just wish I knew her back then and could have had a part in writing love on her arm. Who do you know that needs this? Will you write it?

judge away

mythbusters: pop rocks & pop from Jeff Selph on Vimeo.

I think I'm really excited about what I'll be teaching on in youth group, because I know that for years I believed some pretty ridiculous stuff about the Bible. I've spent the last several years thinking about a lot of things I was taught. I didn't just start this mission after I became "willingly disenfranchised" - as my brother Dan calls me - from the traditional church. Part of my disillusion came from not agreeing with a lot of things I had heard over the years. I should probably quickly clear something up. I actually believe almost everything I've been taught, but much of what I disagree with seems to be a pretty big deal to a lot of people I know. Here's a quick example: I do not believe that consuming alcohol is a sin. I do believe, as the Bible teaches, that getting drunk is a sin. I believe that Jesus turned water into wine, drank wine, and even had wine at the Passover celebration that we refer to as the Last Supper. I also believe that 2 of those last 3 sentences would cause a big argument with many people that I am close to.

But wait, I'm not teaching on drinking in youth group. No, that would not be wise. I'm teaching on other myths that Christians believe are actually in the Bible. Last night, I taught on the misnomer that you cannot judge me. This silliness is based on Matthew 7:1, which says not to judge, unless you also want to be judged. People take this to mean that we, as Christians, cannot hold each other accountable for doing wrong. That's nonsense. We can't sharpen each other, as Proverbs talks about, without talking right and wrong. The truth is that we are not to sit in the judgment seat. We are not to adjudicate sentencing for wrong doing. We aren't to condemn other people, because we are just as guilty of offending God as they are. We can't fix each other. But by all means, as my Christian brother, if you know that I am doing something wrong, please, please hold me accountable for that, but don't do so by making up a fake name and e-mailing me or leaving me comments under your fake name. Yes, that has happened to me. Weird, huh? Anyway, when someone comes to you concerned, don't drop the infamous, "you can't judge me," on them. Graciously accept the advice, and if they are right, follow it.

One other thing: I'm really excited about making 3 more stupid videos. I really enjoy doing that.

that's not really sports talk

As I drove to work yesterday morning, I listened to sports radio, as I do every morning. The night before, the Yankees had just won the World Series, so most of the talk was about them. I was getting ready to switch to listening to some music when a compelling interview started. I really don't remember what he said at the beginning that drew me in, because he went into a whole discussion that I considered to be not sports related at all. He was explaining that Derek Jeter is a butter face (you do know what a butter face is, don't you?), and that A-Rod is a beautiful man. I thought it was a bit much the first time he uttered the words, but he kept going on and on. He assured us, the listeners, that he was a man and not into men, thus justifying his 3 minute rant on the looks of these guys. This isn't sports talk. How good looking a man is or is not to you is not relevant to the game and how it was played.

Maybe what this sports analyst was guilty of is a lot like what I (and maybe you) are guilty of. Don't we spend a lot of time arguing over personal beliefs and call it talking about God. I'll be honest, I would thoroughly enjoy discussing (<-- the holy word for arguing) with you what I do not agree with doctrinally, practically, and methodically with other Christians. I can do that all day. I have done that all day before. And do you know what I tend to call that? Talking about God. I love talking about God...and how I'm right about Him and you're wrong. It's so fun. And sometimes it creeps into preaching, doesn't it? I don't know how many pastors read this blog, but I bet for every one that does, there is a person who at some point or another has used that platform for making his personal preferences about God, the Bible, holy living, and church practice known. He may have even done so at the expense of another pastor or ministry. I have. And you know what? I bet when I get done talking like that, God just shakes His head and thinks, "that's not really preaching." People's ears may be tickled, they may be amused, and they may have even agreed with me, but that doesn't make it preaching, does it?

Don't do something else and try to pass it off as what you are supposed to be doing.

you're stupid to me

I'm pretty sure that some parents are horrible people, and being horrible people, they tend to be horrible parents. Maybe you think I'm writing about you...maybe I am, but really, I'm not, so settle down. I was just so taken aback by something I heard when I was out the other day that it made me really happy that my parents are as awesome as they are. Please start the flashback dream sequence with the blurry screen and the violin music...

I was at KFC, mostly because I wanted a Detroit Lions/Calvin Johnson cup, when I heard people come in behind me. I heard a woman say, "I'm not stupid," to which a man with a very gruff voice said, "Well, as far as I'm concerned, you are." Not being nosy at all, I waited a full two seconds before turning to see who this conversation was between. I thought it was a husband and wife, because that seems like a normal conversation for spouses to be having. To my surprise, the woman who claimed not to be stupid was standing there with the man with a very gruff voice, who it turns out was her mother. Neither one seemed too effected by the conversation they had just had. After a few moments of awkward silence, they started talking about how much chicken they should order. Apparently this conversation, or one like it, has taken place before - perhaps many times. It's so commonplace that neither really had a reaction to it, at least not outwardly.

::fade back to reality and picture me looking at the camera like Zach Morris::

That really made me appreciate my parents. They built me up to the point of dillusion. I've never had a conversation like that, and I know I never will. And I know that Jakob won't, either. It also made me think of a new application for 1 Corinthians 10:23 (all things are lawful for me, but not all things are expedient). I've always thought that this means that just because I can, doesn't mean I should. I'm taking that a step further now: just because you have reproductive capabilities doesn't mean you should have children.