more lessons learned

Last week, I wrote a post called, "things I've learned in ministry."  The idea to write one post led me to the realization that it would probably take several posts to tell you all of the things I didn't learn in school.  Since I already set up the premise of this post last week, let's just jump right in.

5.  You will not always have enough time to write a well thought out and prepared lesson.

That sounds scary, huh?  Sometimes the youth pastor will have to teach on a Sunday or Wednesday night with little to no preparation.  That doesn't happen to me here, but it was a way of life in the past.  In some church settings, the lead pastor can make himself unavailable to study for Sunday, but the youth pastor cannot do the same for Wednesday.  There were times when I wasn't allowed any time to study, because people had me doing too many other things.  I had to adapt.  If I had known the insanity that awaited me, I probably would have stocked up on lessons and had them at the ready.  I didn't know, so I adapted on the fly.  By the time I left my first post, my schedule was so hectic that I had started writing my lessons for Wednesday night while the pastor preached on Sunday morning and evening.  It was that or teach a 5 minute lesson and play dodge ball for the rest of the time every Wednesday night.  I don't do that anymore, though.  I have more regular office hours that allow me to do what I was hired to do, and the only reason I would ever miss what Dave or Todd is teaching is children's ministry.  But I do like the way they teach, so if I miss on Sunday morning, I listen to the podcast.

6.  Games that involve drinking large quantities of pop and then running are a bad idea, especially after all you can eat pizza.

Go to any youth pastor resource website, and you will find hundreds of gross games, and I think hundreds is a conservative guess.  I do like gross games, but I don't like the ones that are gross due to excess and the likelihood of causing instant vomiting.  There are three staples at most youth events: excessive amounts of pizza, a swimming pool's worth of pop, and at least one kid that doesn't know when to say when.  It is a bad idea to have any staged games after you've unleashed them on pizza, and it's even worse to have that game involve more pop and running.  I learned my lesson when I had such a game at my first church.  The only parts of the game I remember were the ones that involved chugging a 20 oz pop and running the length of the gym to throw your bottle away.  The winner threw his bottle away while running past the trash can and onward into the bathroom.  He proceeded to give back like no philanthropist before him.  I still love and appreciate that kid, though, because I didn't know about his episode until after he had mopped up his own mess.

7.  Do not work at a church that runs a Christian school unless you want to teach.

Lesson learned.  I am not called to teach elementary school, and I am not equipped to teach it.  I never wanted to do it, either.  Now, I can teach the Bible to elementary students, which I ended up doing, but I cannot teach gym.  I am not the guy that should teach your children what it means to be physically fit.  I also had very little experience working with young kids, so I acted around them like I would around a teenager.  I spoke to them like I would a teenager.  There was a list of naughty words that could not be said, and short of the actual swear words that you and I already know, I think I said just about all of them.  I think I added to the list.  The Jeff Selph addendum added words like "punk and chump" to an already lengthy list.  I now know that you cannot tell your Bible class full of 5th and 6th grade students that they will now be running the entire gym class, because they have been acting like chumps for the entire Bible class.

8.  Make a change, make an enemy (or two, or three, or several).

I probably wasn't taught this in school, because some of the professors I had were still teaching the same lesson plans they taught thirty years previous, and they did not like the idea of change any more than the average church goer.  I think it's fair to say that some of them liked it even less.  I guess I should have gleaned this lesson from my days in youth group, when I witnessed it firsthand.  Well, I didn't learn my lesson then, and I have made changes everywhere I have gone.  Now that I've learned this lesson, I still make make changes, but I make them with the understanding that someone will be upset, so I'd better really believe in the changes I'm making.  Why set yourself up for attack over a change that you're not even 100% sold on?

Okay, chickadees, that's it for this week.  Maybe we can reconvene next Wednesday with more lessons learned.

Jakob doing the Hot Dog Dance

Jakob is an excitable little boy.  He smiles a lot, yells a lot, dances a lot, and he actually fist pumps a lot.  He doesn't do it in the lame Jersey Shore kind of way.  It's really more of a "I just won a big event" kind of way.  You'll see it in the video below.  Two things that get him very excited are the Imagination Movers and Mickey Mouse.  All you have to do is show him something with Mickey on it at the store, and he will get a big, cheesy grin on his face.  Last week, I noticed him gearing up to dance when The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was ending, so I grabbed my camera.  For Jakob, it was time to do the Hot Dog Dance, and he was so pumped up that he kept dancing for a little bit after the song had ended.  You can watch it here:

the unpardonable sin: it's not what they say

Happy Friday.  It's time to look at the Bible.  I like the Bible.  I really do.  It's very interesting to me, and it is the Truth that sets me free.  What's not to like?  I know what is to like: I just rhymed back there, and it wasn't even on purpose.  As promised last week, I will spend my time talking about portions of Scripture that I feel get a lot of misinterpretation.  I'm talking about the story of the unpardonable sin.  Click the link to read the story.

There is a lot of confusion surrounding this sin.  There is a group of atheists that run a website with the Blasphemy Challenge on it.  The point is for you to make a video of yourself saying the Holy Spirit doesn't exist, and just like that, you have blasphemed Him and taken your chances.  I'm not sure how that proves He doesn't exist, but I've never understood how one can prove or disprove God, when either position you take - He exists or He doesn't exist - takes a leap of faith on your part.  Anyway, that's not what Jesus warned against, but I'm not surprised that they would get that wrong.  A lot of Christians get that wrong.  I've heard it taught incorrectly more than once.

Incorrect things I've heard regarding the unpardonable sin:

1.  God does not forgive blasphemy.  I've heard this taught by people who also taught that using God's name in vain (especially in conjunction with a certain D word) is blasphemy.  That's a pretty careless and dangerous teaching.

2.  As mentioned above, denying the existence of the Holy Spirit will finalize your reservations for Hell.

3.  If you want to accept Christ as your Savior, He will forgive you of all of your sins, except for one.  I think what they are implying is that you are screwed if you've blasphemed.

The truth about those misconceptions:

1.  God does forgive blasphemy, but it's important that we first identify what that means.  Using God's name in vain is not blasphemy, but it is irreverent and identified as sin.  To blaspheme is to vilify God.  It is to defame Him or to attribute evil to Him. It is only specifically stated that blaspheming the Holy Spirit is the nail in the coffin.  You have to read more of the Bible than one verse to understand it, though, so I'll try to further clarify that in a minute (or several minutes, depending on how quickly you can read).

2.  Disbelief is never condemned as a deal breaker with God.  Until we come to know Jesus as our Savior, we all live in disbelief.  If disbelief at any point in one's life sent him to Hell, we'd all be done.

3.  If you want to be saved, you can be saved.  I know, I'm throwing down that church word like it's still in style, but I get to assume, as this is my blog, that if you are reading this still, you have some idea what I am talking about when I say saved. So, if you want to be, you can be saved.  But what if I've committed the unpardonable sin? Well, if you want to be saved, it's safe to say that you haven't.

What the Pharisees were guilty of was more than just saying words out loud.  They had already committed the sin they were just now verbalizing in that moment.  They had completely rejected the drawing of the Holy Spirit, and as a result, they gave the Devil credit for His (the HS') work.  They had seen Jesus living a sinless life; they had heard much of His teaching; they had witnessed many of His miracles.  It should have been completely obvious to them that God was at work.  It was obvious to others.  The reason He taught and performed miracles was to draw people to the Father, which only happens after placing faith in Jesus Himself.  How did He perform the miracles?  How did He draw?  His power came through the Holy Spirit, Whom He received after His baptism.  There were no miracles before that time.  They were performed through the Holy Spirit, as Jesus had willfully sacrificed His ability to perform them by Himself.

When the Pharisees attributed God's good works to the Devil, they were verbalizing their already existent permanent resistance to the Holy Spirit's drawing them.  When they did that, the Holy Spirit ceased His trying to draw them to God.  They would never have the desire to know Him.  Some people spend time worrying about whether or not they have done something similar in their past that would keep them from coming to Christ now that they want to, but that verse cannot be taken out of context of the rest of the Bible (like no verse should ever be).  The Bible says in John 6:44 that no one can come to God unless he is drawn by God Himself.  Your desire to know Him is a direct result of His desire to know you.  You will only be moved to answer the door when He is knocking.  So if you want to come to Christ, place your faith in Him, and spend an eternity with Him, you can.  Your desire proves your eligibility.  If you sought Him, and did not find Him, He would be a liar, because He promises a number of times that "whoever will" come to Him will be saved.

I will save this post for another time, but I think Christians are guilty of coming closest to the unpardonable sin than most anyone I know.  I don't want to write about that today, though, because this post is already too long.

So when I say that your desire to know Him is a direct result of His desire to know you, am I talking about predestination?  Well, I'm not this week, but next week I will be.

 

things I've learned in ministry

I've been in ministry for a while now, and I really love being a pastor.  My job is fun, interesting, challenging, and strange.  There are some things you do not learn in college when preparing to go into ministry, though, leaving you shocked and amazed along the way.  The same can probably be said of most career fields, but I don't have a normal career, and I want to give you some insights into my life.  Most of what I share will be from my earliest days in ministry, because that's when I learned the most, and because some things take time before they can become funny.  I don't think I can tell you everything today, though.  There was too much information left out of my training.  Let's begin, shall we.

1.  You can do way more as a volunteer than you can as paid staff.

This doesn't sound like it's true, but it is.  As a young, unpaid youth pastor in Florida, I was allowed to plan events that included rock music.  My first week on staff, though, I was told by my new boss that not even Christian rock was okay, and it was only my spiritual immaturity that led me to liking it.  Apparently, exposing kids to Christian rock was the same as having a lock-in and serving O'Douls.

2.  Never trust a junior high boy on his own at a youth event.

I should have known, but I didn't.  I always liked working with junior high and gave them the benefit of the doubt.  It's a bad idea.  Here's a small list of things junior high boys have done at youth events: bought a swimsuit calendar from the ice dancers at a hockey game (at my first youth event ever, and he was related to the lead pastor), thrown up in the bathroom and left it on the floor without telling anyone, prank called the lead pastor from the office phone in the middle of the night, and drink 4 monsters during a 3 hour youth event.  And guess what!  That was all my from my first three months in ministry.

3.  You can trust a junior high girl alone at a youth event, but never trust a pack of them.

On her own, an individual junior high girl will most likely be respectful towards adults, to the church property, and to others at and event.  Putting them in packs, however, changes the tide.  I'm not sure if there is a chemical reaction that happens or what, but things can get nuts.  So what have the junior high girls of yesteryear done to bring this judgment upon all future junior high girls?  Well, they've completely destroyed bathrooms (TP-ing, rubbing hand lotion all over mirrors, clogged toilets with paper towel, emptying entire cans of air freshener at once), gotten into the kinds of gang battles you would expect to see in the movie The Warriors (only a threat when there are two large groups of girls that seriously dislike each other), prank called the lead pastor in the middle of the night (and the girl that led this charge was related to the boy that led their efforts), and make each other cry with what they consider a mild prank (while universities the world over have banned similar practices under the label of hazing).

4.  Church vans are not safe, no matter what the pastor/deacons/finance committee say.

On our way back from camp, we blew out a tire on the highway.  We got the spare out, and it was complete mush, but we still had to use it.  Two weeks before leaving, I asked in a staff meeting if we could get new tires for the van.  I was assured that they would be fine for travel, and if not, the spare could be used, because it was newer and had never seen road use.  I guess I should have gotten the tool kit out, lowered the spare from under the van, and had a look for myself.  On another note, when we got back, I let the powers that be know that the van smelled really badly, and it needed a good cleaning.  Turns out there were several kinds of mold growing inside the panels and under the carpets.  My lungs probably still haven't recovered.

I'll stop at four lessons for now.  I don't want to overwhelm you.  I also don't want to write anymore, because I'm tired, lazy, and uxorious.  We should pick up again next week.

Pastor Todd bullies the entire youth group...

...with his opening song on Sunday night, and then he taught why it's not okay to bully.  There are three distinct advantages to having Todd teach youth group: one, I do not have to prepare a lesson; two, it seems like we can count on him singing something funny for us before teaching; and three, I don't have to upload 12 slides and notes after he teaches.  I just upload one video, and you can watch it if you'd like.  So, without any further jibba jabba, here's Todd:

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/18919867]

 

misunderstanding Scripture: a new blog series starting next week

Do you know what really aggravates me?  I mean, something that aggravates me more than exercising, fast food commercials while I'm on a diet, or wearing black shoes with a brown belt (or visa versa)?  When someone clearly does not know the Bible but chooses to teach it, anyway.  Misunderstanding the Bible doesn't aggravate me in of itself, because many misunderstand due to the lackluster teaching of someone else.   I recently saw a quote by David Hume on my friend Sean's facebook that should help you understand why it gets me so feisty: "Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."  Of course, we can diffuse our own misunderstanding by really studying the Bible ourselves.  I had to update my understanding on quite a few passages of Scripture when I went to Bible college.  The interesting thing, though, is that what I believed and what was being taught by the professors was the same thing in most instances, but the Bible seemed to be saying something completely different in some areas.

So, after much thought and delay, I've decided to start writing on misunderstood Scripture.  From major to minor deviations from Scripture, I'll be writing about things I've heard taught several times that are clearly not in line with what the Bible says.  Sometimes I will drift into questions I have about Scripture I'm not quite sure about, because although I don't believe what I've been taught on it, I'm not quite sure what my answers is.  You are free to disagree with my assertions, although calling me an IDIOT or a HERETIC in all caps will not make your argument seem any more intelligent, just more forceful.

Aren't Friday blog posts supposed to be fun?  Yes, they are, and being weird, this is one thing I consider fun.  So next week, I'll be talking about the impardonable sin.

Bully Beatdown: Verbal Bullying

Bullying has always been an issue.  It became a forefront issue last year, when a string of young people committed suicide over the treatment they received from peers.  I, like many of my youth pastor brethren (and sisteren) wanted to respond at the time, but God didn't lead that way.  It's time now, though, so we started the Bully Beatdown series tonight.  If you're not familiar with the title, it's a show on MTV that only nerds like myself watch.  We'll be talking about three types of bullying over the next few weeks: verbal, physical, and spiritual.   We'll talk about what each one entails and see what the Bible has to say about each.  Last night, we started with verbal, and we ended right at 7:00 PM, at which time we observed a 5 minute silent prayer for families that have been affected by suicide and those contemplating it even now.

Here's what happened.

As many of you know, bullying had its day in the spotlight towards the end of last year.  It made headlines when it led to three young people committing suicide as a direct result of the poor treatment they received from their peers.
When I was a kid, bullying was strictly defined by physically bullying someone weaker than you.  Even though I was small enough to fit into most backpacks, I was never bullied as a kid.  On the contrary, I leaned towards being a defender.  I fought bullies, mostly because they were usually messing with my older brother, who was a complete nerd when we were little kids.

We will be talking about the three listed on the slide over the next few weeks.
It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person's (or group's) power over another person (or group)

Why?

Whatever you do – or don’t do – to even those that you view as lesser people, you are doing it directly to God Himself.  That goes for the good and the bad.

We call it "making fun" of someone.  We talked about that term.
I talked a little bit about my past.  I used to be really bad with this.
So why is it so easy?

Why does the tongue have such potential for great wickedness?  Luke 6:45 – out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  If our hearts are not right, our mouths will not be right.  And that heart…Jeremiah 17:9 says that the heart is desperately wicked when left in its normal state.
When we use our mouths for evil, whether it’s making fun of someone, disrespecting authority, lying, telling dirty jokes, saying things we’re not supposed to say, gossiping, etc., it shows everyone else the state of our heart: desperately wicked.

So two young boys make fun of Elisha, one of God’s servants.  What happens?  Two bears come out and tear them apart.
Of course, that’s not always God’s response to making fun of someone, but it seems from this story that He really does frown upon it, especially when you are making fun of Jewish pastors.

Let’s go back to James 3. Let’s read James 3:7-12.
He’s calling out hypocrisy here.  He’s calling out inconsistency.  We should not feel good about ourselves for how we speak about God when it isn’t consistent with how we speak of those created in His image.
Let’s look at more verses! Titus 3:2, James 4:11, and 1 Peter 3:10.

 

Sun Stand Still, by Steven Furtick

What I like most about Steven Furtick is his uncanny ability to make a strong, convicting, or enlightening point in a short period of time.  It's why I am subscribed to his blog.  I don't often have the patience to sit through an entire non-fiction, leadership, or Christian book, because I feel like a single point is being dragged out and rehashed.  I made the mistake of worrying that was the case with Sun Stand Still when I first started reading it.  It was not true, though.  Steven Furtick brought it like he usually does, in a way and from a perspective that many don't.

Steven keeps things moving throughout the book with a mix of Biblical perspective and personal stories.  He moves back and forth frequently enough to keep even an ADD-type like me from getting bored.  I also found the short chapters helpful for the same reason.  This book is perfect for any church leader, volunteer, or Christian that needs inspiring or encouragement to continue living out a faith that is pleasing to God.  I highly recommend it.

being offended

My dad once explained to me that some people cannot be happy unless they have something to be unhappy about.  He told me this in response to my questions about some people at church.  Some people were always mad at someone for something while simultaneously being happy in the Lord.  I think it comes down to some people's innate desire to be offended.  Have you already thought of someone in your life that could be described this way?  If not, is it possible that you're that person in someone else's life?

People are just too easily offended, or at least they would have you to believe they are.  Don't believe me?  Then you weren't paying attention during this past holiday season.  I think "Happy holidays," is the one of the few polite things you can say to someone and set him off.  I'm glad I've made it through the season of e-mails telling me where I should and should not buy my family presents, because someone is offended that a store instituted a policy to try to not offend someone.  Granted, you would have to have really thin skin and possibly be quite an egomaniac to be truly offended by a polite, "Merry Christmas," but the same could be said about the other side, too.  There are far too many Christians and non-Christians that get their undies in a bunch over things that shouldn't greatly affect one's life.

That used to be me, and left unchecked, it can be me.  However, I used to be a lot more easily offended than I am now.  I didn't realize it about myself, as many don't, but I was reminded last week that I truly was.  Maybe I knew I was easily offended, but I justified it by knowing I was right, and therefore I should have been offended.  I was reminded while being too lazy to find the remote and change the channel.  My Wife and Kids came on, and my brain instinctively told me to change it.  Cooler and lazier heads prevailed, though, so it stayed on.  Now, that show is stupid.  I only found it mildly amusing, and that should have been my reason for no longer watching it, but it wasn't.  I didn't know for sure, but I knew it had offended me, and I had quit.  As luck would have it, the very last episode I ever watched was on that day, and I was reminded of the turd I once was.

It did not take much to get me upset when discussing  two particular issues, and I was quite content being upset.  I've always fancied a good argument (or as adults like to say, "debate"), and there has always been something subtly pleasing to me about being angry.  It sounds weird, but it's true.  I think it's because anger made me feel like I was right and everyone else was wrong.  If I was wrong, I wouldn't have been so angry.  Right?  Of course, right.  So what were the issues that got me all riled up?  Insulting my religion or my politics.  As I look back, insulting someone from the Republican party was nearly as offensive to me as insulting Jesus.  In this specific instance - the one from My Wife and Kids - Damon Wayans said his son was dumb, but not George W dumb.  When I heard it last week, I laughed out loud - not because I think that joke is particularly funny, but because I was embarrassed by how easily "offended" I was.

There are other things people get faux offended about, of course.  I don't want to dive into all of them, though, for fear I would mention any of your silly overreactions and have you think I'm picking on you specifically.  But you should check yourself when you get offended.  Was the thing said or done truly offensive, or is it a hot button issue for you that you need to be offended by?  Do you just need to scream and be angry about something?  Did it really hurt, or are you thinking of ways it could have possibly hurt so that you have something to talk about?  And even if you find that you are truly offended, did you act like an adult or a child in your reaction?