flipdoodle

Sunday was one of the coolest days I've every experienced. It was great to be a part of something. I was too busy to twitter everything. Can you believe it? So here's the run down.

I realized very early that I (and probably a lot of other people) were in a fight with the devil. I got a very late request for an additional copy of our curriculum on Saturday night, so I was up and working very early. I went to church to copy the curriculum, and I realized that I had forgotten to make registration cards for check-in at Ashland. I made additional copies for the Loudonville campus while I was at it. When I put the L-ville cards at the check-in station, I noticed that the rest of my map books (homework for the kids) had been thrown away. They were nowhere to be found. I think I was so mad I let a flipdoodle fly. Sorry. So I have to go make more copies of that (I was at least smart enough to leave a master copy in my box). I've never had the printer jam on me before, but this morning it jammed 4 times. A few more flipdoodles were let loose. Then I get on my motorcycle to ride to Wooster. I had a DVD to drop off. It was a nice ride. I got to do a lot of praying. I arrive at the Wooster campus, and go to get the DVD out of my bag. It was on the coffee table. FLIPDOODLE! I sat under the awning feeling a little defeated, a little pouty, and very angry. But then I realized it was 7:32 AM, and I had to be to Ashland by 8:00 AM. Yes, all this took place BEFORE 7:30 AM. Yikes. Back on the bike, and off I go.

I arrived at the Ashland campus, and I'm thinking everything is going to be great, and it was...eventually. We got our rooms set up, and I start working on the computers. Turns out the wireless card was not working or was not in one of the laptops. No big deal - I had 3 others. Too bad Bud had Windows Vista, cause it doesn't work with the printers we need for check in. Now I"m down to 2. I was having trouble with the printer driver on one, but I got it figured out. Just as I printed my label to test it out, here comes the first family to check in. But we had 52 kids check-in after that first one, so I'd have to say that was all worth it.

The Ashland Launch was awesome. If I wrote about it, this post would be even longer, clearly crossing the way too long line. So you can go to Kevin's or Charles' blogs to read about it. I can't wait for Tammy's report tomorrow on lives changed.

Then we had //the.evolution launch. It was pretty cool, but Tom will have to tell you more about it later. I just ran the screens, ate pizza, embarrassed a few 6th grade girls and drank a ton of Dr. Pepper. I have no other details for you.

*I hear rock and roll*

I am an emotional sleeper. I blow everything out of proportion when I am half asleep to all the way asleep. For instance, one time Sarah was doing laundry, and wanted my white undershirt for the white load. I had fallen asleep on the couch, so she had to wake me a little to get it from me. I squirmed and grunted, but I wouldn't give her the shirt. At one point, I sat up and turned my head right towards her. She thought I was giving her my shirt. Nay, nay. I had only sat up to move my head to the other side of the couch to get away from her. She tried again, and I really got agitated. I said very rudely to her, "LAY OFF ME, CHUMP STAINS!," but I was still sound asleep. I don't remember any of this; I only know what she told me. Oh, and I did eventually give her the shirt. Now I say all that to preface what I'm going to post. I'm sure my recollection of the story is blown way out of proportion, but I'm going to tell it how I remember it, cause it's way better than what is most likely the truth.

My parents were a little legalistic when I was younger. They're not now, but it was a long journey from where they were to where they are. They had no ill intentions. My mom grew up an orthodox Jew, and my dad a very unorthodox Catholic. Both had a good-works view of redemption. So they were easy marks for the Baptist legalist movement. It seemed natural enough, I'm sure. They were taught in church(es) what being a good Christian meant, and they afflicted...I mean instructed us on how this went. I've never had a problem with them, though, cause they were only trying to do what was right by God and us. They're awesome parents, and I knew the whole time they loved me. But that doesn't make some of the things they did any less funny...


Christ rock was a big no-no in our house. My brother Steve had wandered from God, and yes, music did play a roll, but my mom had a misunderstanding of how this worked. She thought Christian rock was a stepping stone to "bad rock," when in reality, the Christian rock of Steve's teen years just sucked. If he wanted to listen to good music, it would have had to be secular. Still, rock and roll became the devil's #1 tool, Christian or otherwise, as far as she was concerned (and many of her church cohorts, too). This led to one of the funniest moments in my life, which is, as mentioned probably exaggerated.

I had a friend that gave me the Newsboys' "Not Ashamed" tape, because he didn't like it. I wasn't supposed to have it, but I wanted it anyway. I listened to it on my little black tape player when I was going to sleep at night. One night, however, my tape player fell down next to my bed and next to a heat register, taking the sounds right up into my parents' room. Here I am asleep, and all of a sudden, the door flies open as though my mom had kicked it open. She threw on the lights and fumed "I HEAR ROCK AND ROLL!" I was half asleep at this point. I had no idea what she was talking about. I mumbled the word what, and she rabidly repeated those five words again. Sorry I had asked. "WHERE IS IT?!?" I finally realized what she was talking about and reached for my tape player. I took out the tape and sheepishly said, "It's Christian,"...like she cared. With fervor and unbelievable speed, she ripped the whole tape from cassette. It was almost cartoon like. Her arms were flailing all over the place, and the tape was soaring like streamers at a New Years party. And I swear, I can remember her taking that little cassette and snapping with her hands, like it was a pencil, like it was nothing. I've never been more afraid of my mom in my whole life. Fortunately, I cannot stay up long if awoken from deep sleep like that, so I quickly got over my mom's intimidating display and fell fast asleep.
But I never forgot it, and now, maybe you won't either. As a side note, I have a ton of Christian rock CDs in my collection now, but guess which CD I could never bring myselph to buy: Newsboys' "Not Ashamed." That album scares the crap out of me.

the office

Part of me misses working at ADT. Part of me misses working at Baymeadows. Both had their fair resemblance to The Office. I'm not 100% sure we resemble the Office crew at New Hope, but I'm pretty sure we'd be hilarious to make an episode about. I'm very excited for the return of the Office this Thursday, so it got me to thinking about who most closely resembles the characters from the show at New Hope. This is the best I can do...

• Charles has to be Michael Scott. He's the boss, and I think they both own the same "World's Best Boss" coffee mug. Plus, Michael's hair is thinning, so he should have the NH do soon.
• Jeff C must then be Dwight, because he is Assistant to the Regional Manager, Charles.
• Brian would be Ryan Howard. Why? Well, he's the new intern, and although Brian didn't start the fire, he used to be a fireman...so there's a natural tie between him and cheese pita fires. You can insert his name into the song, though: Brian started the fire!
  
• Danley Knight is none other than Stanley Hudson, because, as Dan puts it, they both have the spiritual gift of wet blanket.
• Just for the sake of not offending anyone, I'll go ahead and be Kevin Malone. After all, I'm chubby, and I make some pretty funny faces some times.
• Tammy takes Pam Beasley. Pam and Tam rhyme, and I clearly like rhyming all the timing. Oh, and she answers the majority of the phone calls.
• Since I'm already Kevin, out of the graciousness of my heart, and Angela is a woman, Jim Ford must be Oscar Martinez, but only because they're both in accounting. It should be noted, however, that Jim is not attracted to men.
• And Tim must be Andy Bernard. Tim has his own worship project going, and Andy has some musical skills of his own. I believe this is what is called a smart match.
• The Jim Halpert award goes to Kevin Rush. Congratulations. This is a prestigious award. He's the top sales guy, since he's the only one of us on the phone selling sponsorships for the Sticks. He's also young and hip.
• Default placements: Tom gets to be Creed (an age related decision...sorry, boss), and Bud is left to be Toby (also sorry on that one).
  

Unfortunately, I could not place everyone. I would be mugged if I made any of the women in our office out to be Phyllis, Angela, Kelly, or Meredith, so I'll pass on that.

when choosing a hero

Know what you're getting when you choose a hero. You should make sure that you really want to be like that person. For instance, I would never choose Aquaman. Not only is his outfit incredibly gay, but he's pretty much useless unless crime needs to be fought in/near the water. I'll take my chances with the Coast Guard. His main superpower is being able to communicate with sea life. Not sure I want to talk to seahorses, so I'll go with someone else.

Some people have said that I am their hero. I really couldn't think of why, so I decided to put together a list of reasons why I might be someone's hero. Here's what I came up with...

1. You have incredibly low standards
2. You want to be short and out of shape when you grow up
3. Deep down, you know that Jews rock
4. You want to marry beautiful Asian
5. I think it all boils down to reason #1.

That's pretty much all I could think of. But maybe you should post the reason why I'm your hero in the comment section. OR you can say who your hero is and why. Mine are Sarah and my parents. They never quit. They stay by what they say and believe through all kinds of adversity. And here's a video of me, a hero in action...

Would you recognize it?

Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart is famous for one thing. He is not famous for being from Jackson, Michigan, although that is an established fact. He is mostly known for a singular quote he made in his deposition on the obscenity case "Jacobellis v. Ohio." Speaking on hardcore pornography, and whether or not the movie in question was or was not, he said, "I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description (hardcore pornography); and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it..." Incidentally, he deemed that the movie in question was not.

I know it when I see it. A lot of pastors have used this quote toward the negative, and for obvious reason, but I'm twisted. You didn't know that? It's true. So I'm going to use that phrase for something positive. I, personally, cannot define what true worship looks like. That's probably because it is different for everyone. It's not as simple as stating that it involves hot licks on the guitar, soft notes on the piano, being fast or slow. I just don't know. Sometimes I dread worship at church, because I am not moved to move as much as other people. Everyone seems to be looking to God, raising their hands, clapping, or whatever. And I don't like just standing there looking like a curmudgeon, but I refuse to pretend. Mostly my worship is very inward, and I am very still. My hand will go up very rarely. Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) seems to get me every time. It got me on Sunday. Maybe it's cause I'm happy to know that my chains have been removed, and I'm only tied up by them when I stupidly choose to put them back on. I can be free from any sin I struggle with; I already am. It's just choosing to be free. The point is that I do not worship like most of the people I am around at church. To some, I may not look worshipful at all. I might even look angry, when I am actually very happy about what God has done.

Can I define true worship? Nope. It looks different to different people. People react differently to it. It has not one true form. But I know it when I see it. Would I get in trouble for saying that hard core pornography and worship seem to have one thing in common then? I probably would, so I won't say it.

Here's a video with some real worship from Kevin Rush. Man does he know how to inspire worship. AND, I just love one of the ladies on his worship team. That's her picture up top.

don't sweat the small stuff...or do

I had a fatal motorcycle ride home on Saturday night. Obviously, it was not I that was killed. How can you tell? You'll have to take my word for it. I was coming home from a UFC watch party, and I was pretty nervous about deer. It was pitch black on the roads, and visibility was very limited. So I was constantly scanning the area in front of me for deer. Meanwhile, a raccoon sneaked (snuck is not a real word, for those that are wondering why I didn't use it) out into the road. I didn't see it, because I was too focused on the possibility of deer. Fortunately, I was able to avoid him with my front tire, keeping his and my blood off of me. He wasn't very smart, though. He doubled back right under my back tire. It caused me to fishtail back and forth a little. I thought I was going to join him, bleeding on the pavement. All this, because I was focused on not hitting a bigger animal.

You can probably tell from reading my blog that I am super spiritual. So of course, I spiritualized my experience. And for those of you that really are super spiritual, you're probably way ahead of me on this, but I'll type it anyway. I was thinking about how I have lived my life the same way. I keep my eyes out for the "big sins." I focus on not doing certain things that would completely derail my life, and take pride in the fact that I haven't done them. Meanwhile, I slowly start fading away in other areas of my life. I might miss spending time with God one day, but I don't mind. It wasn't a big deal. Next day, I might do it again. Next thing you know, I haven't really spent good time with God for a month, maybe more. I didn't do anything else major (pick whatever you find to be a major sin, God hates all sin anyway), but I am a spiritual mess. I've crashed and burned. There were no spiritual deer in the road, either. I just ran over a raccoon that I wasn't even watching for.

Maybe we should start sweating the small stuff. Jesus didn't just die for adultery, murder, child abuse, etc. He also died for our laziness, our moments of disbelief, our selfishness, our occasional curse words, and everything else we think isn't that big of a deal. If He cared enough to die for it, maybe we should care enough to keep our eyes out for it. We should be wary everyday of what is going on in our lives. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God." (HCSB) So the renewed mind is the key to being able to discern what's right/wrong while you're keeping watch in your life.

it's good to be a man.

There are so many reasons why it's great to be a man. Here's my top 10 list why it's good to be a man.

10. Legalists don't get mad at us for wearing pants.
9. We can go to the bathroom without worrying about a friend coming or about if the seat will be up or down.
8. Because your only two options for child birth are lots of pain or a huge needle in the back.
7. Eating everything on your plate is acceptable and expected.
6. Urinals.
5. Action movies are better than chick flicks.
4. Grilling is unofficially your job.
3. You can be a parent without getting stretch marks.
2. Watching the football game with nacho cheese on your shirt is better than having a tea party, stamping it up, and canning.
1. God made women just for us.

What did I miss? Leave your comments.

broken

God speaks through music. Why, I learned just today that Jesus is my friend. I was very pleased. Music means a lot to me. Sometimes I get in a mood where all I want to do is live and breathe music. Of course, being tone deaf and hideously monotone, I try to only breathe music in...no one wants to hear me exhaling music. There have been times that I have taken my mp3 player, hidden the ear buds under my helmet, and gone for a long motorcycle ride. Those were times of escape for me.

I remember a particular time when God just grabbed my heart and wouldn't let go. The night before, Sarah had broken down crying, telling me how miserable she was. God had finally turned the tide. I had been fighting God for almost 4 months at that point. Fighting Him about whether I should leave my current church at the time and go somewhere else. Four months before, I had only been on staff for 6 months, so in my mind, there was no way I was reading it right. But I remember telling my replacement that I needed to start training him to replace me. He was surprised, but I assured him it would be quite a while before that happened. I was, of course, wrong as usual. God was asking me to get ready to leave, He was telling me to leave. The first time God told me to go was Sunday, November 4, 2007. I remember it clearly.

February of this year was particularly hard for me. I knew I needed to leave, but I was holding on. God was throwing reason after reason at me to leave, but I stood there and took it. Pride had a lot to do with it, but so did my being attached to my youth group. Finally, on February 28, I gave Sarah my word that I would find another job. It wasn't until the next day, though, that I promised God. I was riding my motorcycle, listening to music (illegal, I know), and I stopped home for lunch. On my way into the lot in front of our condo, "Breathe Into Me," by Red came on. I remember the tears welling up in my eyes as I listened to them sing about my life. I walked into my home, threw my helmet to the ground, laid face down in the middle of my living room, and just started crying and asking God to forgive me for my stubbornness, and pleading with Him to fix the mess I'd made. I was broken before Him. I couldn't move. But I could feel Him loving on me.

Here are the lyrics that punched me right in the throat:

And this is how it feels when I
Ignore the words You spoke to me
And this is where I lose myself
Wen I keep running away from you

And then I just listened to the rest of the lyrics, which are worth your time. I know they spoke to me, because I was ignoring God. We've all done it. I hope you're not now. If you are, stop it!

Oh, and I know I'm a dates freak. I shouldn't remember exact days like this, but I can't help it. But I still can't remember people's names. It's a real shame.

A huge thanks to Nicole for buying us the best donuts I've ever had. Lerch's actually tastes better than Marge's. I only blog about this because it was a condition for getting the donut for free. It was worth it.

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Instructions for life

Listening to preaching online isn't always as boring as you'd think. Sometimes it gets pretty interesting. This picture reminded me of a sermon I have listened to several times. I came across it when I was looking for a picture for my children's ministry blog on our church's website...somehow it just didn't seem appropriate. It probably still isn't.

How can that picture have anything to do with a sermon? You'll have to go here and find out. Even if you've already seen the video, you know you'll enjoy it again.

By the way, here's an edited video from the same guy. The original was funny, in a sad kind of way. Now it's just plain funny. Thanks to whoever made this.