I'm grateful

It's been a pretty big Summer for our family.  Big seasons can mean big stress, and this was no exception.  Granted, much of it was good stress, but even too much good stress can wear a guy out.  Summer started in a  big way with Jaxon's being born just three days into it.  He's wonderful, and we're so grateful to have him.  I was sure we'd only have one kid, because Jakob's pregnancy was very difficult on Sarah, and she was pretty sure she'd only ever have the one.  She decided it would be good to have a second, and as feared, it was a terrible pregnancy once again, but the ends justify the means in this case.

Two weeks after Jaxon's birth, I got on a bus with 29 awesome students and leaders and headed to Louisville.  It was an amazing trip, even if my heart was half at home, and my mind was occupied with thinking about the next big thing.  We were supposed to close on our house on July 18, which was one week after I would return from this trip.  Of course, as many of you who own homes know, it never goes as planned.  Then we were supposed to close on July 25, but again, it didn't happen.  Finally, we were to close on July 31, the last day on our lease, but again, it didn't happen.  The builder/seller was gracious in allowing us to move in that day, anyway, a full week before closing.  We ended up closing on August 7 on a home that was built as though we had given the builder every detail of everything we needed and wanted in a home.  God worked in ways we didn't expect, including ways that frustrated us greatly.  He worked through the government's incompetence - apparently even that is redeemable - and a builder who doesn't know us.  All along he spoke to us through our realtor, who is a good Christian of great faith, that we thought we just happen to get.  We look back now, just a few weeks later, and we see how God was orchestrating everything, and we are grateful for what He did.  We also feel a little sheepish about the times we got frustrated and began to doubt.

If you were in church at KCC on Sunday, then you know something big happened at work for me.  It was announced on Sunday that I am the new associate pastor here, which means additional responsibilities, work, and trust (much of which has been in place for months anyway).  Most of you found out Sunday.  I've known for a while and have been excited but haven't been able to talk to many about it.  But for me it was also a frustrating process, even though it didn't take too long overall.  I talked to Dave about my frustrations a month ago, and he explained that he sees that I'm a microwave guy.  I want things done in 30 seconds or less, and when they are not, I get frustrated, I begin to doubt and get scared.  I don't sit quietly in waiting very well for very long.  He's right.

Now it is the end of Summer as far kids in school and their parents go (that's us now!).  As I look back over the Summer, I am grateful for Jaxon, our home, and my promotion.  That seems like it should be obvious.  But I'm also grateful for the hiccups, speed bumps, twists and turns.  With the house and the promotion, I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn patience and faith at different levels.  I'm glad that the house buying process was so frustrating and strange, because it shows God's hand clearly.  I'm glad for the testing of my faith there, because it gave me an opportunity to stand tall in my faith and not lose faith in exchange for worry, which I'm glad to say that I did.

You know what else I'm grateful for?  I'm not going anywhere for a long time.  In case you missed the subtle hints, I thought I'd tell you that.  I just bought a house.  I wouldn't have done that without seeking God and being confident that we'd be here a long time.  My job is changing and expanding in ways that will allow me to grow, recognize that I have grown, and use the gifts I'm passionate about using.  I'm grateful I don't have to leave a church that I love to experience this.  Most youth pastors have to leave a church to grow into a new position.  I'm grateful that the leaders at KCC see where I can grow, change, and be used here.  I am grateful that I'm not seen as just the goofy youth guy, at least by those leading the church.  Sure, I am the goofy youth guy whenever I can be, but to them I'm also a pastor capable of more than pranks, funny videos, and jokes. But don't worry.  Just because I'm capable of more doesn't mean I'll forsake my roots.  I've got a funny video coming you won't want to miss.

don't long for Egypt

"4 Now the rabble that was among them had a strong craving. And the people of Israel also wept again and said, “Oh that we had meat to eat! 5 We remember the fish we ate in Egypt that cost nothing, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. 6 But now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.”

Numbers 11 begins with the words, "And the people complained..."  About what were they complaining?  Well, they didn't like how God was miraculously providing a food for them that no other person had tasted and none have tasted since.  They didn't like it, because it was all they had to eat all of the time.  They wanted to eat meat, which I understand.  They wanted different fruits, vegetables, and spices, because they had had their fill of manna and coriander.  They longed for better days, like when they were in Egypt.  Food was free there, apparently, and there was great variety.  But in their ungratefulness, they forgot that nothing was free in Egypt, and nothing was better. They forgot about oppression, slavery, beatings, and even some being killed.  Because they missed something as insignificant as this food or that food, they forgot the hell in which they lived and from which had been supernaturally set free by a God that loved them.  It's striking to read and consider, and it seems they were so dumb for missing God's obvious goodness.

I've missed Egypt before, though.  I haven't missed the country, because I've never been there, but I've missed times, places, and people from which God has delivered me.  I guess I forget exactly what I'm supposed to be grateful for sometimes, and I miss other times.  I see other speaking in the same way.  Maybe you miss having that boyfriend or girlfriend who was not good for you and overall made you miserable. God set you free, but you long to go back.  Maybe you miss a job that made better money, but you never saw your family or church.  God set you free, but you long to go back.  You miss your buddies, but with them you only ever acted foolishly and sinfully.  God set you free, but you long to go back.  Some just flat out miss their sins, which were destroying them and pulling them further and further from God.  God set you free, but you long to go back.  We've all been set free from something if we are in Christ, but some cannot be content with their freedom.

Do not long for Egypt.  We romanticize the good old days.  They're probably not as good as you remembered.  What may seem free and pleasant now was torturous and terrible for you back then and would be again today.  Live in the freedom God has given. Live where you are now.  Stop looking backwards and plow forward for God, for you family, for your church, and for yourself.