do you dare?

How do you react when life isn't all you hope for it to be?  What is your attitude?  How does that affect that your actions?  From where I sit, I see a lot of hurting.  I have people come into my office to share their grief.  Probably more likely - since I primarily work with a younger generation - my phone is constantly abuzz with texts from hurting people.  People hurting in their lives, hurting for other people, frustrated, scared, defeated people.  People lay out their problems on Facebook for public consumption, crying out for help (or possibly just attention in some instances).  There is a lot of despair.

Jeremiah understood despair.  He was called the weeping prophet.  The guy was just in a funk most of the time, nut he still had the chutzpah hope in God.  Lamentations was written by him shortly after the fall of Jerusalem.  Being that Israel's success was closely related to their relation to God throughout the Old Testament, such a blow to the nation would have been particularly devastating for the man God called to warn them.  They hadn't been listening.  His life was a mess.  His career was a mess.  What was he to do?  Hope!  Read these verses:

Lamentations 3:19-26
New Living Translation (NLT) 

 ¹⁹ The thought of my suffering and homelessness
      is bitter beyond words.^[a]
 20 I will never forget this awful time,
      as I grieve over my loss.
 ²¹ Yet I still dare to hope
      when I remember this:

 ²² The faithful love of the Lord never ends!^[b]
      His mercies never cease.
 ²³ Great is his faithfulness;
      his mercies begin afresh each morning.
 ²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
      therefore, I will hope in him!”

 ²⁵ The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
      to those who search for him.
 ²⁶ So it is good to wait quietly
      for salvation from the Lord.

When your life is spiraling out of control, do you dare to hope?  When your job isn't as fulfilling as it used to be, or maybe you're just not good at it, do you hope?  When your family lets you down, hurts you, misbehaves (for you parents), do you hope?  When the economy plummets further, do you hope?  I guess that depends on what you choose to remember.  If you remember that despite what we did yesterday, God's love and mercies for us are fresh today, then you hope.  If your hope rests in Him and not your current circumstance, then you hope.  Do you dare to hope?

Pavlovian Sadness

I'm not leaving Kalamazoo Community Church. I don't want to leave. No one has suggested that I should leave. Well, maybe a couple people have, but no one in a position of authority has. And yet, I was recently very sad and felt like I was on the way out of here.

Two weeks ago, I began studying for a lesson on how to hear and recognize God's voice, and the consequences of following Him. I was sad, but I didn't know why. The next day, my office was going to be painted for me, so I began taking everything off the walls. I took down all my pictures and toys and put them in one box. I took all my books off the shelf and boxed them up, too. I didn't want paint on any of those things. The whole time I was packing things up, I had a heartache and a weird feeling in my stomach. I was even sadder, and I didn't know why.

Finally, it hit me. I had put a double whammy on my heart by putting it through two things that it associated with separation. First, the lesson I was studying for ended up being very similar to the one I taught in Florida the night I announced my resignation to my youth group. That's why I was initially sad. I couldn't place it until I was packing up my things. My heart was overwhelmed with sadness. I've packed up and left two churches before, so my response was a learned reaction. It was a Pavlovian response to things from my past. Even though I'm not leaving, my heart was tricked into believing that I was.

These things happen. I hear songs that take me back to another time and place, and the emotions are just as real in that moment as they were before. I never hear Canon in D without welling up a bit, because Sarah walked down the aisle to that. I smell the smelly smell of different smelly things, and it reminds me of specific times from my childhood, both good and bad. My heart reacts to its memories more than reality at times. Sometimes it's wonderful, and sometimes it's senseless pain.

But if there is any good to come out of my made up distress, it's that my heart reaffirmed what I already knew: I want to be here. Leaving would make me sad. I'm glad I was just teaching a lesson and having my office painted.

Christian Hipster How to (and my defense)

I showed the following video on Sunday night in youth group, and it was swiftly pointed out that I had a lot of checkmarks on the list of how to be a Christian hipster.  I invite you to watch the video, and then listen as I defend myself.  You cannot tell just by reading it, but I am defending myself in a whiny tone, and if you question me, I might start crying and tell on you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_uY2ynp3wM

Let's start with the list and move down from there.  I'll confirm or deny having a checkmark, and if I have one, I'll defend myself.

1.  Tight pants: no.  Never.  You should thank me.  If ever I've worn tight pants, they were tight in the waist, because I was getting fatter.

2.  Vnecks: I own one that is only worn as an undershirt.  It's purple, though, so it does match the video.  I never wear it out on its own, and I keep my chest hair to myself.  Again, you're welcome.

3.  Toms: Yes, I wear them.  I also wear Sambas, which are clearly shown as not hipster enough in this video, and I wear the Sambas 5/7 days each week.

4.  Faux hawk/Euro-mullet: Had a faux hawk, never a mullet of any sort.  So you could have gotten me on this one, but now I have a shaved head thanks to the recession we are in.  You just missed pinning this one on me.

5.  Scarves/zip up hoodie: I own one scarf, which is only used in the winter when I will be outside for multiple hours at a time.  I don't own any unnecessary scarves.  And a zip up hoodie?  I own one, but it's never worn over a scarf, and it's not hipster at all.  It's a Michigan hoodie, and everyone knows sports hoodies aren't hipster.  They're mainstream.

6.  Thick-rimmed glasses (non-prescription): there's nothing cool about wearing glasses, people.  I wear them because I'm almost blind in one eye.  I can't distinguish between a man and a woman from 15 feet away if I'm only using my left eye with no correction.  But my glasses are thick-rimmed.

7.  Hebrew tattoo: I have Hebrew tattooed on my arm, but I'm of Jewish descent.  I didn't even realize that it was cool with Gentiles till I met someone with a Hebrew tattoo that wasn't a Jew.  My first question: "Hey, are you Jewish?"  Them: "No, why?"  Me: "You have Hebrew on your arm.  I just figured."  Not everyone with a big nose and/or Hebrew tattooed on them is a Jew.  I just thought that it meant that.  But I'll take a point if you want me to.  I'm not scoring too highly, though.

8.  Trendy beanie: Don't own one.  I wear winter hats when it's cold outside.  It's a Michigan winter hat.  Again, sports are mainstream, not hipstery.

9.  iPhone Bible: yes, I have one of those, but I also read from a...wait for it...Bible made from paper everyday, and I almost always use a hardcopy Bible when I preach.

10.  Cooler than the other side of the pillow: I just took 9 points explaining to you why I'm not cool at all.  I'm not.  Some people pretend to be nerds now, because being a nerd is trendy...but only if you do it intentionally.  I was born nerdy, and that's not cool.

fishers of men

I got to teach the preschool class this past Sunday.  It's not something that I do often.  I'm not nearly as good at it as any of my volunteers, so I tend to stick to teaching the elementary and youth ministries.  Due to illness on behalf of a children's ministry stalwart, though, I filled in for one day.  The story was about Jesus' recruiting His disciples.  He told his fishermen friends that if they would follow Him, He would make them fishers of men.  So naturally, I taught the little kids the song, "Fishers of Men."  Also naturally, it reminded me of something from my childhood that made me laugh.

Thirty minutes is a long time to ride in a car for a fourth and fifth grader.  My brother Dan and I did it six times every week: on the way to and from Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening services.  It lends to hyperactivity and a little misbehavior.  It also leads to the kind of extreme boredom and causes a little kid to eavesdrop on his parents' conversations.  One day, while we were on the way to church, my mom was relaying a prayer request to my dad.  Someone from their Sunday school was suffering from anal fissures.  I knew roughly what the first word meant, but I didn't get the second part, so I butted in.  I asked what a fissure was.  My parents explained it to the best of their G-rated ability.

At this point, I should tell you that my brother Dan and I are a lot alike.  It's almost spooky.  We think the same things, often at the same time, and we tend to be in sync on most things.  We are not basketball studs, but we used to win a lot, and I think it was our connectivity that did it.  I always knew where  he would go before he went there, and visa versa.

So there we were, sitting in the back seat.  Our mom got done explaining fissures to us.  Without any sort of collaboration, we both started singing, "I will make you fishers of men, fishers of men, fishers of men..."  I know what you're thinking: that's hilarious!  I agree!  Mom didn't agree back then.  My sister Lisa, the consummate big sister, also did not think it was funny and wished for justice to be carried out.  Of course, my mom agreed with her.  And that is how we got spanked for singing a song we had learned in junior church.

the pastor's wife

Being a wife cannot be easy.  Almost every married guy I know drives his wife crazy to some extent.  Being a wife and mom only complicates things.  I know it is tiring.  When I come home from work, Sarah's always more tired than me.  Her job is more demanding on most days.  Just because it doesn't come with a paycheck doesn't mean staying home with a two year old isn't hard labor.

If being a wife is difficult, then imagine the added stress of being a pastor's wife.  There are a lot of burdens and hurts that no one knows she carries.  If a heavy burden is laid on me at work, for the most part, I can go home and talk it out with Sarah.  Most people in most instances allow me to do that.  So she carries what I carry along with me.  Then there are times I cannot tell her what I'm dealing with, because the matters are very private, but she knows something's there.  She can see it in my demeanor.  If I am hurting for someone else, she will see it and hurt for me.  She just doesn't know what's hurting.  Then who does she go to with these hurts?  This is why I try to keep her out of what I'm doing.  I don't want her to hurt, but she persists to be there for me.

For the most part, my schedule is a standard schedule.  I have office hours.  I can come and go as I need.  The biggest difference between my job's hours and most others is that my busiest day is Sunday, and then I don't work Monday.  But then there's the fall when I go to lots of sporting events to support the athletes in youth group, spring when I go to lots of musicals to support the thespians, and Summer when I go away on trips and activities.  There are also emergency times when someone needs me, and I either have to be on the phone, come home very late, or leave unexpectedly.  All these times turn Sarah into a single mom for the day.  If something happens, and I cannot come home till 9 or 10 at night, she's got Jakob for all that time.  And he's two.  And he doesn't nap for long, if at all.  And it's rarely expected.  She adapts on the fly to what can become my hectic schedule.

She shares my burdens.  She adapts to my schedule.  She ministers silently to people who will never know that she is caring for them.  She works behind the scenes, encouraging me, making me stronger, and helping get my mind right so I can go back out and do it all again.  She prays for the church. She supports the church.  She ministers quietly to the church.  She is a pastor's wife.  October is Pastoral Appreciation Month.  You shouldn't forget to appreciate the ones that minister most often to the ministers, though.  I appreciate her.  I love her.

Valuing your family

I recently read an article called, "10 Ways to be a Better Father." Maybe it was oversimplifying things a bit, but the point is well made. To be a better dad or mom, be there.

Be there for your kids. If your child needs something, who should they go to first? They should go to you, so it's important to establish with them that you will be there. I have heard parents say, "My world does not revolve around you," to their kids, as it shouldn't all the time. But when your child is in need, it should at least for a little while. I've seen my parents do this, and I've seen it in others, and I think it is a mark of a great parent. To love your child so much that your world stops when they need you is what I call good parenting.

You cannot really be there for your children if you are never home, though, so I think it's also important to be there with your children. If my schedule impedes my ability to see Jakob enough, I'm altering my schedule. This week, due to extenuating circumstances, I did not get home from work until nearly 10:00 PM Tuesday or Wednesday. I barely got to be home with Jakob. Today, I'm typing this out the long way: on my phone, because I am home. If it is within my power to limit it, my son should not have to miss me all the time. Yes, I have a job. I even have a social life! There are times when I cannot be with him, and there are times when it's okay to be apart from each other. But I will not make him go days without me. I choose to be there with him.

Be there for yours, too.