i have to be me.

At the end of my senior year, my graduating class at church was given the opportunity to decorate a tile to be hung in the youth room. They finally took down those tiles a few months ago (nine years later), after none of the other classes did this. Mine wasn't up as long as everyone else's, though. My tile stayed up for one week. I was frustrated by some things back then. I didn't like other people trying to force me into a mold that I did not fit in. I think I still don't. So, since I really liked Christian rock, and I got tired of people telling me that I shouldn't, I made my tile for them. I drew a star and wrote the names of different bands I really liked. I wrote something about following your own star to Christ, and then finished with "You be you, and I'll be me." I started working in junior high a week after the tile was hung, and that was not a good example, so my tile was pulled down. I almost felt triumphant.

To be honest, I have not changed that much. I still have the same position on this, but I have learned how to say it in a more acceptable way. I am me, and I cannot be anyone else. I have to be who God made me to be, or I will end up frustrated like I have in the past. I am keeping this in mind while looking for a church to serve in. I refuse to get so desperate that I will end up in a church that expects me to be anyone other than me. It was bad for me, it was bad for my marriage, and it was probably bad for the teenagers I was serving the last time. I make a lot of mistakes, but I'm not going to make that one twice.

So who am I? We don't really have time for that, but you're welcome to go back and read all the blog posts I've written in the past. By the end, you'll be sick of me, but you'll also know me quite well.