God's four year olds

We have yet to enter the most dreaded phase of parenting: the why phase.  Jakob doesn't seem to care why we do things yet.  He just does them, with or without gentle nudging, depending on the day and mood.  But I know a day is coming that I won't even be able to go to the bathroom without explaining why to him.  It's inevitable.  Kids want to know why everything.  I have dealt with it on a children's pastor level, but not as a parent yet.  I believe that from my occasional response, I will break the vow I made when I was younger to never say, "Cause I'm your dad, and I said so," since I've said pretty much the same thing to kids at church at times.  Just exchange dad for in charge, and you're there.

Though adults can find it annoying to be constantly asked why by a child, I feel like adults do it, too.  Only we do it to God.  We become his four year olds.  I know that I do, anyway.  I often wonder why God allows this or that to happen or why He wants me to do something or whatever.  Sometimes it's just something simple that He asks me to do, and other times it's major moves and shifts in life.

Why do I have to move?  (I'm not moving, that's just an example)
Why did you let that person in my life?
Why can't I make more money?
Why can't I just eat Dorito's and drink Cherry Coke and lose weight at the same time?
Why do you let people get sick?
Why do people have to die?
Why?
Why?
Why?

There are times in our lives when we will be at a loss.  We do not always understand what God's doing or what He's allowing to happen, and all we're left with is grief, sorrow, annoyances, and wondering why.  But then that's when faith is revealed, because it's the dark times in life that require faith to be strong.  Believing that God's ways are best when everything is going great for you doesn't take as much faith as believing His ways are best when things are messy and painful.  Strong faith believes that God's way is best, even when we do not understand it.  When we are left wondering why, and there seems to be no answers, we have to remember the words of Isaiah 55:8-9:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways."

We may never understand why, because we cannot fully comprehend the way God works.  We just have to rest in the promise of Romans 8:28: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

I have trouble with lyrics

I have had trouble understanding what singers are saying for my entire life.  It's not that I don't get most of what they are saying.  There are just lines that I struggle to understand.  It's not too bad, because I'm usually in the car by myself when I sing, or sometimes I sing without thinking about it with Sarah in the car.  I refuse to sing in front of anyone else.  But the problem arises when Sarah is in the car with me, because she doesn't struggle to hear the lyrics, and she also doesn't struggle to laugh at me when I'm screwing up songs.

One group that has always given me trouble has been the OC Supertones.  I have always loved their music, and I inevitably end up singing along with it, but there always seems to be at least one song per album that trips me up.  Their new album just came out yesterday.  As usual, there was one song that I couldn't understand.  I knew what I heard, but at least this time, I knew I was wrong.   I even sought counsel from my wise wife, but she couldn't decipher it, either.

Here's the song.  You can jump to 1:12 in the song and listen for ten seconds and see what you heard.  I'll tell you what I heard after the video, though, because I don't want to sully your ability to hear for yourself.  Ready?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEbqgvuCUQA&t=1m12s

What did you hear?  Here's what I heard, versus what was actually said:

What I heard: We’re boppin’ like a blitzkrieg, pilin’ in the backseat. Party till my butt cheek generates steam heat. No rows no seats, everybody on your feet, and smash it up! Smash it up! Meet me at the downbeat!

What was really said: We’re boppin’ like a blitzkrieg, pilin’ in the backseat. Party till were fa-tigued.  Generating steam heat. No rows no seats, everybody on your feet, and smash it up! Smash it up! Meet me at the downbeat!

Samsonite!  I was way off.

 

passing on our habits

It should come as no big surprise to you that I love Star Wars.  If this is news to you, you have probably never been in my office, read my tweets. or been around me when my phone has started to ring.  Oh, and you've never seen my wallet.  You know who also loves Star Wars?  Jakob.  It is one of his most favorite things.  Whenever we go to Target or Meijer, the first thing he asks is if we can go look at Star Wars toys. If I am working on my computer, he comes and asks me to play the Star Wars song for him, because I'm so cool that I have the sound track.  When we go out to Oriental restaurants, he likes to pretend that chop sticks are lightsabers.  And, he loves to vocalize the Star Wars theme song all the time.  He has inherited my love for Star Wars, and I really didn't push him into it.  He just observed me enjoying it, wanted to watch it with me, and it just happened.

He has inherited other things from me and Sarah, as well.  He behaves like we do, and it's fun to see.  It could also be scary, depending on the situation.  He makes me more aware of myself and shortcomings, because I'm afraid he'll repeat something he shouldn't say - especially at church! - or he'll develop issues similar to mine.  The other day, he and I were alone in the car, and someone turned out in front of me and never made it up to speed.  I had to pass, because they stayed solidly at 35 in a 45 MPH zone.  I was annoyed and shouted, "Come on!  If you're not going to drive, don't turn in front of me!"  I was upset.  From the backseat, I heard Jakob ask me, "You okay, Daddy?"  He asked so sweetly, too.  He was worried that I was upset, and he wanted to make sure I was alright.  I immediately felt guilty, because his concern revealed that he had heard me and witnessed an angry, unacceptable behavior from me.

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  I have been a trainer, and I have been trained.  Training isn't just telling or teaching from a manual.  It also involves demonstrating behavior, so the trainee can emulate it.  Often times, it also involves showing not just what, but also how and why.  This is how we train our kids.  We demonstrate our love and devotion to God, so they can emulate it.  We teach them what it means to love God, and we show them how to do it, and we tell them why it's important.

What will your kids learn to love from you?  How will they learn to behave?

ranking Halloween candies

I'm not sure where you fall on the celebrating Halloween, and that's okay.  It's not really pertinent to this post.  What is important is fun sized candies, and which ones are the best.  I know that tomorrow, I can buy whatever fun sized candy I want for half price or less.  So even if you pass on Halloween celebrations, you still have a vested interest in this time of year and its candy offerings.  Here are my favorite Halloween candies to receive, and by receive, I mean take from my son's candy stash the day after Halloween.

1.  Butterfinger

I don't know what it is about shrinking this candy bar down to size that makes it taste so much better.  I kind of like Butterfinger in its original state, but I don't really buy it.  Maybe it's too crumbly or greasy or sticky in my teeth.  I don't know.  What I do know is that Jakob will not get to eat any of those this week, because I will eat them all as soon as he goes to bed.

2.  Heath bar

Here's another candy that I do not buy in full size form, but I love to eat in miniature versions.  It's also really good on ice cream.  Although I couldn't stand to eat a full size Heath bar, I could gladly stand to eat an entire bag of little Heaths.  It doesn't make sense.  It's just the way life is.

3.  Peanut M&M's

This is actually my favorite candy.  If I walk into a store with the intention of buying candy, or I get suckered into buying one at checkout, it's almost always going to be Peanut M&M's.  I just love them.  The only downside is that it is also Jakob's favorite candy, and I could never steal his favorite from him.  That's why I don't let him have little Butterfingers.  I don't want it to become his favorite.

4.  Mr. Goodbar

Such a distinguished candy!  Nobody knows what his first name is, because he is so respected that no one is on a first name basis with him.  I'm surprised his distinguished position doesn't move him above fourth place, but you can only rest on your past accomplishments so much.  But he's still tasty enough to come in the top five.  Not too shabby for a candy bar that is just chocolate and peanuts.  He doesn't even have a candy shell!  And that, Mr. Candy, is why you are not in third.  Sorry.

5.  Hershey bar

It's pretty plain.  It's usually the last candy to go.  But it is so good.  You can't argue with Hershey's milk chocolate, unless you're European, and then you probably can, because I hear your chocolate is richer and more delicious than the American version.  But I digress.  They are just square Hershey's Kisses, and since I have personal space issues, I prefer a bar to a kiss.  Plus, they're more securely sealed, so I don't have to wonder if you secretly licked the candy before giving it to me, a concern every boy has for his entire life.

Those are my top 5.  What are your favorites?

Fun fact: none of the candies I listed are in the picture I posted.  Shame on me.

children gone wild

When you leave a kid unattended, and they know they are completely unattended, things can get pretty dicey.  You never know what you might find.  It may be messy, it may be naughty, and it may just be funny.  Depends on the kid, I suppose.

Jakob doesn't get left unattended for very long as a general rule.  He is three, after all.  It's not like we would leave him home while we ran to Target or went on a date.  That would be ridiculous and probably criminal.  But he has been unattended before.  Like when Sarah has been sick in the past (and she hasn't called to tell me), she has kept him in our room while she slept for a little bit.  And he's usually quite sweet about the whole thing.  He'll get himself a snack sometimes, or maybe he'll find a DVD to put in, and he'll sit by her and quietly watch our bedroom TV.  He'd never really been sneaky, mischievous, or crazy about it, and it's happened a few times.

Last week, Jakob finally went a little wild, as far as he goes.  It was Thursday, and I intended to stay up to watch the Tigers.  Sarah was in the bedroom reading, and I was in the living room.  But we were both coming down with something.  I felt myself falling asleep, but I thought I knew that she was awake, so no big deal.  She wasn't awake, though. She had also fallen asleep.  So when I fell asleep around 8:45, I accidentally left Jakob unattended.  I only slept for 30 minutes, though, because he sprang into action.

At 9:15 PM, I was awakened by the sound of one of Jakob's loud trucks - one I do not usually let him play with in the living room, because it's so stinking loud on the hard floors- accompanied by his making really loud truck noises.  I was startled out of my sleep.  I look over at him, and he is just playing and having a good time doing something in the living room that he usually doesn't do.  No big deal, though.  He's just playing with his toys.  I tell him to put it away in his room, because it's time for bed. As we are walking out of the living room, I see Sarah's bag of Lucky Charms on the table, no box in sight.  I look at him, and he has a few marshmallows in his left hand. We don't let him eat that cereal, because he doesn't eat the cereal.  He only eats the marshmallows and then asks for more.  But he got into them, and he was eating only marshmallows.  I put them away and followed him down to the bedrooms, where we got ready for bed.

Knowing he was completely unattended and could do whatever he wanted, Jakob ate Lucky Charms marshmallows and played with a bedroom only toy in the living room, yelling and laughing throughout it all.  This is his going wild for now.  No coloring on walls.  No parties.  No playing with matches.  No drinking or drugs.  Just sugar cereal and a toy truck.  I love this age.

I've been forgiven

It is good to receive forgiveness.  Isn't it?  I've been forgiven by Jesus, my wife, my parents, my siblings, my friends, and others over the years, and I've never once wished that someone would have held something against me and carried a grudge.  Forgiveness feels much better.  But sometimes I have wronged a person I was not in position to even apologize to, because I had no idea who they were.  I know that specifically, almost 20 years ago, my brother Dan and I stole from someone we didn't know.  And today I was forgiven by that person, because I happen to meet him and find out that he was the owner of what we had stolen as children.  Here's the story.

When we were younger, my brother Dan and I learned how to steal stickers from those 50-cent machines at a lot of grocery stores.  No, I won't tell you how we did it.  I've only ever told one person, and that was Mark, who I met today, since he owned the machines.  Anyway, we did it one time to see if it would really work, because the kid who told us how was kind of fast and loose with the truth.  But then we got excited, because it did work, and the exotic sports car stickers were so cool.  So we did it again.  And again.  And again.  In total, we did it eleven times, giving each of us a complete set of 5, plus one extra Lamborghini sticker.

Our mom noticed the new stickers and was annoyed that we had wasted so much on them.  We didn't care, cause we hadn't spent anything on them, and we went to our room to apply them to our basketball card folders.  But as we did, we both started feeling really guilty about it.  After some discussion, we went back downstairs and told our mom what we had done.  I cannot speak for Dan, but I had guilty tears in my eyes.  We asked if there was a way to make it right, and she said we could apologize and pay for them.  So we went right back over to Meijer with $5.50 and an apology note in an envelope.  The Meijer customer service worker told us they didn't own the machines, but they could pass it on to the owner.  So we left.

I met the man that owned that machine today.  I was buying a gum ball machine from him for children's ministry.  More on that another day.  But after talking to him about when he started his business, and how far the range was of his business.  It turns out he had those machines in the Meijers in Grand Rapids at that time.  So I told him about what my brother and I had done, and I was sure to include the part about us paying for them in the end.  I was able to apologize to him almost 20 years later, and he just laughed and said it was okay.  I can now sleep peacefully tonight, knowing the big sticker scandal has finally been settled, and I've been forgiven.

before you fast

On Sunday, Michael Small did a great job laying out what the Bible says about fasting, and how we are called to do so throughout our lifetime by God.  As a church, we are embarking on a period of time when we will be fasting together and yet separately in different ways as God calls us.  Before we get there, though, I think there are somethings you should understand before going on a fast.  I will give you a quick list of things up front, because this will likely be a long post.  I do not want you to miss some important notes, because you know you will not read the whole thing.  So please, read the bullet points and feel free to pass on the rest if you must, but don't miss these things.

• Before you fast, you should know your body limits.  Consult a doctor if you must.  If you are a diabetic or hypoglycemic or whatever, a whole fast is not a prudent choice.


• One type of fast is not more holy than another type of fast.


• Fasting is a private issue.  It can be entered into corporately, but the decision to do so and the loss you feel throughout are private matters.  It's not something to brag about, and it's not your business to ask someone else why they are not fasting.  You are not the food police.


• Make sure it is God calling you to your fast and not someone else.  But you said the church was going on a fast, so our church is calling me to one.  Here's an inside secret: the last time a group of elders and church leaders did a fast, I didn't, because God wasn't asking me to do it.  I felt no peace about it.  So please, consult God.

It's a matter of faith

When you enter into a fast, you are placing your faith in God to sustain you.  Whether you're going without food, caffeine, technology, or whatever else, you are asking God to fill that void and expecting that He will do so.  It is also a matter of obedience.  When God asks you to do something, big or small, you do it.  Well, you should do it.  So when He calls you to fast, you fast. Simple as that.

But not everyone can fast in the same way.  God created your body, and that is the framework in which He has called you to obedience.  Do not tell God that you will do something He has not called you to, and you are expecting Him to take care of you.  That is called testing God, and the Bible tells us in Deuteronomy - and Jesus reaffirms this when speaking to the Devil in Luke 4 - that you are not to put God to the test.  What does that mean?  It means you put expectations on Him to follow your will and come through for you like a miracle worker.  It means you put Him in the precarious position of performing at your command.  1 Corinthians 10:9 says not to test Christ, or you may end up destroyed by serpents like the others.  This is in reference to an old faith act of picking up a snake, as Paul did, and not dying if the venomous snake bit you.  Likely some Christians said, "look, we're going to do this to prove God, and He will keep us safe."  I'm guessing He didn't call them to do it, didn't promise protection, and they got to meet Him earlier than expected.  Do not test God by saying, "I will go on a whole fast for 40 days, and God must sustain me," if He's not calling you to it.  Especially don't do it if you have health reasons that you know should keep you from doing it.  Seek Him and be wise.  Bravado does not equal faith.

It's a matter of obedience

Jesus fasted for 40 days on nothing but water.  God could call you to that, I suppose.  I'm actually grateful He has never asked me to do that.  But Daniel fasted for 10 days, and his fast basically consisted of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and nuts.  He still was able to take in the necessary amount of daily calories and protein his body needed.  He just wasn't eating meat or dairy.  Nothing with a face or a mother.  Was his fast less holy than yours if you go on a whole fast (water only)?  Certainly not.  He carried out the fast God had called him to do.  But mine is more holy, because I am giving up everything but water.  It's a bigger sacrifice.  It is a big sacrifice, but God's looking for obedience.  1 Samuel 15:22 tells us that to obey is better than to sacrifice. So if God's leading you to fast a particular way, and you go another way so you can get more out of it, you're missing the point.

It's a private matter

Here's a really sticky issue related to fasting.  Some people get all fussy and pharisaical about other people's following God.  Let's look at the passage that usually gets people all worked up and see what it says and means.



People will often say that when you go on a fast, you can't tell anyone about it, because Jesus said not to do that.  He did not.  He said that when you fast, you can't put on a big show of how miserable you are.  Don't let people know how bad it is for you.  Don't tweet, "I really want this donut, but I can't.  #fastinginfaith."  Don't brag about it.  It is okay, however, to let others know that you are fasting and to pray for you.  Daniel's fast wasn't private.  He told the head guard what he wanted to do, he entered into it with a group of friends, and they fasted for ten days with everyone else knowing what they were doing.  Was he not rewarded for it?  Did he not excel and grow stronger than his friends that didn't take a stand?  Was he not commended for his faith by God in the Bible?

Privacy is key in keeping your struggle with fasting to yourself, and it also plays another role.  Let's keep looking at Daniel.  Was there any record of Daniel circling the room - a room filled with Jewish young men who all had the same dietary laws to follow - and saying, "Hey, why aren't you doing this with me?  Don't you have faith?"  Of course there's not.  He's not the food and fasting police, and neither are you.  What if God didn't give someone else peace about fasting?  Should they do it because a lot of other people are?  Should they do it because the call has been given by men?  Absolutely not.  Let God call you to what He will call you.  As you prepare to fast, and as you are fasting, let yourself be so focused on God that you don't have time to notice what someone else is or is not doing.  Worry about God and you.

But when you fast

You really should fast at some point in your lifetime.  It was an assumed.  Jesus said, "and when you fast," because it was an understood that you would at some point.  If God never calls you to fast from anything ever, you're probably not tuned into the right channel.  Seek God, be willing to follow Him, and WHEN He makes the call, give up what needs giving up and let Him be sufficient enough for you.