things I've learned in ministry

I've been in ministry for a while now, and I really love being a pastor.  My job is fun, interesting, challenging, and strange.  There are some things you do not learn in college when preparing to go into ministry, though, leaving you shocked and amazed along the way.  The same can probably be said of most career fields, but I don't have a normal career, and I want to give you some insights into my life.  Most of what I share will be from my earliest days in ministry, because that's when I learned the most, and because some things take time before they can become funny.  I don't think I can tell you everything today, though.  There was too much information left out of my training.  Let's begin, shall we.

1.  You can do way more as a volunteer than you can as paid staff.

This doesn't sound like it's true, but it is.  As a young, unpaid youth pastor in Florida, I was allowed to plan events that included rock music.  My first week on staff, though, I was told by my new boss that not even Christian rock was okay, and it was only my spiritual immaturity that led me to liking it.  Apparently, exposing kids to Christian rock was the same as having a lock-in and serving O'Douls.

2.  Never trust a junior high boy on his own at a youth event.

I should have known, but I didn't.  I always liked working with junior high and gave them the benefit of the doubt.  It's a bad idea.  Here's a small list of things junior high boys have done at youth events: bought a swimsuit calendar from the ice dancers at a hockey game (at my first youth event ever, and he was related to the lead pastor), thrown up in the bathroom and left it on the floor without telling anyone, prank called the lead pastor from the office phone in the middle of the night, and drink 4 monsters during a 3 hour youth event.  And guess what!  That was all my from my first three months in ministry.

3.  You can trust a junior high girl alone at a youth event, but never trust a pack of them.

On her own, an individual junior high girl will most likely be respectful towards adults, to the church property, and to others at and event.  Putting them in packs, however, changes the tide.  I'm not sure if there is a chemical reaction that happens or what, but things can get nuts.  So what have the junior high girls of yesteryear done to bring this judgment upon all future junior high girls?  Well, they've completely destroyed bathrooms (TP-ing, rubbing hand lotion all over mirrors, clogged toilets with paper towel, emptying entire cans of air freshener at once), gotten into the kinds of gang battles you would expect to see in the movie The Warriors (only a threat when there are two large groups of girls that seriously dislike each other), prank called the lead pastor in the middle of the night (and the girl that led this charge was related to the boy that led their efforts), and make each other cry with what they consider a mild prank (while universities the world over have banned similar practices under the label of hazing).

4.  Church vans are not safe, no matter what the pastor/deacons/finance committee say.

On our way back from camp, we blew out a tire on the highway.  We got the spare out, and it was complete mush, but we still had to use it.  Two weeks before leaving, I asked in a staff meeting if we could get new tires for the van.  I was assured that they would be fine for travel, and if not, the spare could be used, because it was newer and had never seen road use.  I guess I should have gotten the tool kit out, lowered the spare from under the van, and had a look for myself.  On another note, when we got back, I let the powers that be know that the van smelled really badly, and it needed a good cleaning.  Turns out there were several kinds of mold growing inside the panels and under the carpets.  My lungs probably still haven't recovered.

I'll stop at four lessons for now.  I don't want to overwhelm you.  I also don't want to write anymore, because I'm tired, lazy, and uxorious.  We should pick up again next week.

Pastor Todd bullies the entire youth group...

...with his opening song on Sunday night, and then he taught why it's not okay to bully.  There are three distinct advantages to having Todd teach youth group: one, I do not have to prepare a lesson; two, it seems like we can count on him singing something funny for us before teaching; and three, I don't have to upload 12 slides and notes after he teaches.  I just upload one video, and you can watch it if you'd like.  So, without any further jibba jabba, here's Todd:

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/18919867]

 

misunderstanding Scripture: a new blog series starting next week

Do you know what really aggravates me?  I mean, something that aggravates me more than exercising, fast food commercials while I'm on a diet, or wearing black shoes with a brown belt (or visa versa)?  When someone clearly does not know the Bible but chooses to teach it, anyway.  Misunderstanding the Bible doesn't aggravate me in of itself, because many misunderstand due to the lackluster teaching of someone else.   I recently saw a quote by David Hume on my friend Sean's facebook that should help you understand why it gets me so feisty: "Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."  Of course, we can diffuse our own misunderstanding by really studying the Bible ourselves.  I had to update my understanding on quite a few passages of Scripture when I went to Bible college.  The interesting thing, though, is that what I believed and what was being taught by the professors was the same thing in most instances, but the Bible seemed to be saying something completely different in some areas.

So, after much thought and delay, I've decided to start writing on misunderstood Scripture.  From major to minor deviations from Scripture, I'll be writing about things I've heard taught several times that are clearly not in line with what the Bible says.  Sometimes I will drift into questions I have about Scripture I'm not quite sure about, because although I don't believe what I've been taught on it, I'm not quite sure what my answers is.  You are free to disagree with my assertions, although calling me an IDIOT or a HERETIC in all caps will not make your argument seem any more intelligent, just more forceful.

Aren't Friday blog posts supposed to be fun?  Yes, they are, and being weird, this is one thing I consider fun.  So next week, I'll be talking about the impardonable sin.

Bully Beatdown: Verbal Bullying

Bullying has always been an issue.  It became a forefront issue last year, when a string of young people committed suicide over the treatment they received from peers.  I, like many of my youth pastor brethren (and sisteren) wanted to respond at the time, but God didn't lead that way.  It's time now, though, so we started the Bully Beatdown series tonight.  If you're not familiar with the title, it's a show on MTV that only nerds like myself watch.  We'll be talking about three types of bullying over the next few weeks: verbal, physical, and spiritual.   We'll talk about what each one entails and see what the Bible has to say about each.  Last night, we started with verbal, and we ended right at 7:00 PM, at which time we observed a 5 minute silent prayer for families that have been affected by suicide and those contemplating it even now.

Here's what happened.

As many of you know, bullying had its day in the spotlight towards the end of last year.  It made headlines when it led to three young people committing suicide as a direct result of the poor treatment they received from their peers.
When I was a kid, bullying was strictly defined by physically bullying someone weaker than you.  Even though I was small enough to fit into most backpacks, I was never bullied as a kid.  On the contrary, I leaned towards being a defender.  I fought bullies, mostly because they were usually messing with my older brother, who was a complete nerd when we were little kids.

We will be talking about the three listed on the slide over the next few weeks.
It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person's (or group's) power over another person (or group)

Why?

Whatever you do – or don’t do – to even those that you view as lesser people, you are doing it directly to God Himself.  That goes for the good and the bad.

We call it "making fun" of someone.  We talked about that term.
I talked a little bit about my past.  I used to be really bad with this.
So why is it so easy?

Why does the tongue have such potential for great wickedness?  Luke 6:45 – out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  If our hearts are not right, our mouths will not be right.  And that heart…Jeremiah 17:9 says that the heart is desperately wicked when left in its normal state.
When we use our mouths for evil, whether it’s making fun of someone, disrespecting authority, lying, telling dirty jokes, saying things we’re not supposed to say, gossiping, etc., it shows everyone else the state of our heart: desperately wicked.

So two young boys make fun of Elisha, one of God’s servants.  What happens?  Two bears come out and tear them apart.
Of course, that’s not always God’s response to making fun of someone, but it seems from this story that He really does frown upon it, especially when you are making fun of Jewish pastors.

Let’s go back to James 3. Let’s read James 3:7-12.
He’s calling out hypocrisy here.  He’s calling out inconsistency.  We should not feel good about ourselves for how we speak about God when it isn’t consistent with how we speak of those created in His image.
Let’s look at more verses! Titus 3:2, James 4:11, and 1 Peter 3:10.

 

Sun Stand Still, by Steven Furtick

What I like most about Steven Furtick is his uncanny ability to make a strong, convicting, or enlightening point in a short period of time.  It's why I am subscribed to his blog.  I don't often have the patience to sit through an entire non-fiction, leadership, or Christian book, because I feel like a single point is being dragged out and rehashed.  I made the mistake of worrying that was the case with Sun Stand Still when I first started reading it.  It was not true, though.  Steven Furtick brought it like he usually does, in a way and from a perspective that many don't.

Steven keeps things moving throughout the book with a mix of Biblical perspective and personal stories.  He moves back and forth frequently enough to keep even an ADD-type like me from getting bored.  I also found the short chapters helpful for the same reason.  This book is perfect for any church leader, volunteer, or Christian that needs inspiring or encouragement to continue living out a faith that is pleasing to God.  I highly recommend it.

being offended

My dad once explained to me that some people cannot be happy unless they have something to be unhappy about.  He told me this in response to my questions about some people at church.  Some people were always mad at someone for something while simultaneously being happy in the Lord.  I think it comes down to some people's innate desire to be offended.  Have you already thought of someone in your life that could be described this way?  If not, is it possible that you're that person in someone else's life?

People are just too easily offended, or at least they would have you to believe they are.  Don't believe me?  Then you weren't paying attention during this past holiday season.  I think "Happy holidays," is the one of the few polite things you can say to someone and set him off.  I'm glad I've made it through the season of e-mails telling me where I should and should not buy my family presents, because someone is offended that a store instituted a policy to try to not offend someone.  Granted, you would have to have really thin skin and possibly be quite an egomaniac to be truly offended by a polite, "Merry Christmas," but the same could be said about the other side, too.  There are far too many Christians and non-Christians that get their undies in a bunch over things that shouldn't greatly affect one's life.

That used to be me, and left unchecked, it can be me.  However, I used to be a lot more easily offended than I am now.  I didn't realize it about myself, as many don't, but I was reminded last week that I truly was.  Maybe I knew I was easily offended, but I justified it by knowing I was right, and therefore I should have been offended.  I was reminded while being too lazy to find the remote and change the channel.  My Wife and Kids came on, and my brain instinctively told me to change it.  Cooler and lazier heads prevailed, though, so it stayed on.  Now, that show is stupid.  I only found it mildly amusing, and that should have been my reason for no longer watching it, but it wasn't.  I didn't know for sure, but I knew it had offended me, and I had quit.  As luck would have it, the very last episode I ever watched was on that day, and I was reminded of the turd I once was.

It did not take much to get me upset when discussing  two particular issues, and I was quite content being upset.  I've always fancied a good argument (or as adults like to say, "debate"), and there has always been something subtly pleasing to me about being angry.  It sounds weird, but it's true.  I think it's because anger made me feel like I was right and everyone else was wrong.  If I was wrong, I wouldn't have been so angry.  Right?  Of course, right.  So what were the issues that got me all riled up?  Insulting my religion or my politics.  As I look back, insulting someone from the Republican party was nearly as offensive to me as insulting Jesus.  In this specific instance - the one from My Wife and Kids - Damon Wayans said his son was dumb, but not George W dumb.  When I heard it last week, I laughed out loud - not because I think that joke is particularly funny, but because I was embarrassed by how easily "offended" I was.

There are other things people get faux offended about, of course.  I don't want to dive into all of them, though, for fear I would mention any of your silly overreactions and have you think I'm picking on you specifically.  But you should check yourself when you get offended.  Was the thing said or done truly offensive, or is it a hot button issue for you that you need to be offended by?  Do you just need to scream and be angry about something?  Did it really hurt, or are you thinking of ways it could have possibly hurt so that you have something to talk about?  And even if you find that you are truly offended, did you act like an adult or a child in your reaction?

modest is hottest

I should have made a slide that said just that, but I didn't.  Modest is hottest, at least to chivalrous gentlemen who want to marry a girl for what she's worth.  I missed out.  Oh well.  We wrapped up our beautiful series last night with a lesson on modesty and respect.  I asked what modesty was, and I got a number of good answers.  The best answer came from one of my youth leaders, Jared, who said it is "dressing with the opposite sex's purity in mind."  Beautifully stated.  Here are the slides with the notes.

Why does it specify those things in this verse?  He is describing how a prostitute would present herself at that time.
Is it still wrong to have braided hair, gold, pearls, or expensive clothes?
What might it say if it were written today?

Some people say, “Well, I can dress this way.  It’s not my fault they look at me.”  But we are commanded not to do anything that would cause a stumbling block to someone else. What is that?
Then there’s a common sense approach.  If I parked my car in a used car lot, right next to other cars that are for sale, would I have any business getting upset with people looking the car over?  No, because I presented my car as though it were for sale.  If you do not want to be looked at, common sense tells you that you should not present yourself in a way that makes yourself look like you’re giving yourself away.

No, I’m saying that women share blame, though.  It’s not fair to soley blame boys for looking when girls present themselves in a way that says, “Hey, look at me!”

You are in control of your eyes.  God makes an already difficult standard a little more difficult.  It's not a new standard.  He is helping us better understand His standards.
We will be held accountable to God for everything we do, including ever time we commit adultery, be it physically or in our hearts.

Flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness.  Repentance happens when we turn from one thing and turn to something else.  You cannot turn away from anything without having something to turn to.
These verses in 1 Corinthians are misrepresented so many times.  We say that “God won’t give me more than I can handle, so I know I won’t have more stress in my life, because I’ve reached my limit.”  He’s not saying that.  That’s a myth.  He’s saying that there isn't a single temptation, gentlemen, that you cannot escape, because He always provides a way to escape.
We are not told to stand up and face temptation.  We're not told to prove our strength.  We are told to get out of there.

We read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

People spend their time trying to figure out how far they can go without sinning.  Of course, Jesus says that to lust is adultery, but downplay that.  He says that to cause another person to sin, which includes lust, is a sin, but we downplay that.  We replace God’s standards with a hybrid of His standards and ours.

We fail to attain holiness, so we redefine holiness.  Paul says, “Yeah, you have free will, and you can do just about anything you want, but think about this: don’t become a slave to anything.”

Do people become addicted to the praise and attention of others?  Yes.  Is pornography addictive?  Yes.  Studies have shown that it released endorphins in your brain, much like any other drug.  Sex?  Yup.  Some try to redefine what sex is, but realistically, you know what it is.  Usually, when you have to say, “It’s not technically such-and-such,” it is absolutely such-and-such.

Your bodies weren’t made for that!  They weren’t made for putting on display.  They weren’t made for sexual sins.  Ability and purpose are not synonymous.  Never make the mistake of thinking that.  Being able to do something does not mean you should be doing it.

Your purpose is to honor God.

Ladies: You are beautiful.  You do not need to dress a certain way to draw the eyes and attention of silly little boys.  God said you’re beautiful.  You are beautiful.  If a boy doesn’t think so, because you dress too modestly, he is not worth your time.  If a boy only “loves” you, because you are giving him something, he does not love you.  Don’t believe me?  Stop.  See how much he loves you when you stop.  It takes more love to not have sex with someone than it does to have sex with them.  Don’t sell yourself short.

Boys: You are beautiful, too.  Do not sell yourself short, and do not ask a girl to do so for you.  You treat women like your sister in Christ.  You honor them.  You cherish them.  You reinforce their value and beauty without getting something in return.