Monday, September 6, 2010

back to school tips

Today is the day that many of the kids from our church go back to school.  Some have been bored since the second week of Summer vacation and are ready to go back.  Others have fully enjoyed their break and will be bored in about two hours.  Some people love school, and some people love staying home (some are home schooled and get to enjoy both).  I stopped enjoying school sometime during the 7th grade, so I do not envy the students.  I disliked it from that time all the way through completing my Bachelor's degree, and that's not because I struggle in school.  I do well, but I do not enjoy everything I am good at (i.e. sales).  Although I don't enjoy school, I plan to return myself in October.  The only positive party of my schooling will be that I'm going to be doing correspondence courses only, which means I will operate on my own schedule and work in my pajamas.  I guess working from home also means I don't need the handy tips provided in this handy tutorial:







Hopefully you will follow this timely advice.  Of course, you cannot set your outfit out the night before, because that was last night.  I'm sorry for my tardiness.  Two more tardies, and I'm off to detention.  Yikes.

Maybe you're not looking forward to school today.  Well, I have something for you to look forward to tonight: the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse special, Road Rally, is on tonight at 7 PM.  What could make you feel better than that?

Good luck to all of you students and parents today!

a good ending to a scary story



Sarah, Jakob, and I went to Florida for vacation a few weeks ago.  The week started out great with a stellar car-riding performance by Jakob on our way down, and the good times continued on right through the week.  The ride home, however, was not so great.  I don't blame Jakob, who increased his fuss time by 40 minutes or so, because really, less than one hour of fussing during a combined 42 hours of time in the car is amazing.  I blame the bad drive home on what happened just south of Atlanta.

I was driving on I-75 North, half an hour south of Atlanta.  Sarah was asleep in the passenger seat, and Jakob was snoozing in his car seat.  There were four lanes on my side of the highway, and I was in the second lane from the left.  I was aggravated for a couple of miles, because a lady in a Kia Sorrento tailgated closely enough that I could see the annoyed look she had on her face.  I've never liked being tailgated, and I appreciate it much less so now that I have the greatest child ever in the backseat.  Now, having a bit of the ADD, my eyes are always bouncing when I'm driving: front, side mirrors, rear view mirror, repeat, over and over and over.  Where it may inhibit me in other settings, my active eyes and mind help me see a lot on the road.

I was mildly amused, as my eyes bounced back-and-forth, that there were cars shooting past us on both sides.  There really wasn't anywhere for the annoying lady to go, so her trip would just be impeded by what she viewed as my ridiculously slow speed.  She, too, was diligently checking her mirrors, sighing in frustration, and hitting her steering wheel.  I made her day.  I saw a white BMW coming up on our right; she did not.  She started to merge into the lane next to us, and the BMW driver had to slam on her brakes.  That is not the only thing she had to do to avoid hitting the lady in the Kia.  She also had to switch lanes, to the far right lane, but there was a semi going slower than everyone else around in that lane.  She only had one choice to avoid impact: go off the road.  So off the road she went.  I saw her hit the grass going pretty fast, and then the car disappeared from sight, because there was some sort of drop off.  Between me and the BMW at the time is this Kia.  I saw the BMW go down, and I looked right at the driver of the Kia, whose mouth was agape.  She slammed on her brakes.  There was indecision on her face.  Then she made up her mind: she floored it.

A semi and a pick up truck both immediately pulled over the check on the driver of the BMW.  I couldn't get there without causing my own accident, so I did something else.  I called 911 and went after the Kia.  The lady got off at the next exit, and I momentarily thought she was pulling off to recover and maybe call 911 herself, but she had no such scruples.  Instead, she made a left turn, followed by a quick right onto a road that ran parallel to I-75 at about 60 MPH.  She was a crafty one, but since I don't think she knew I was following her, she wasn't crafty enough.  I lost connection with the 911 operators 3 different times, but I kept calling back, giving them updates on where we were.  We drove for ten minutes before a police officer finally spotted us and came out after her.  He was a Lamar Country Sheriff.  He first went and talked to the driver of the Kia, and then he came back to me.  I was instructed by the operators to stay by the cop car in case he had questions.  He came back and told me that the incident had taken place in Monroe County, so he was not able to do anything.  He did assure me, however, that he would talk to her about being more careful.

I was very upset the rest of the car ride home, which had about fifteen hours left in it.  I was upset, because I thought the person in the BMW could have been seriously injured or dead.  I was upset, because I felt like the lady that ran the person off the road took off, was caught, and merely given a stern talking to.  I was also upset, because I felt like the police wasted thirty minutes of my time by letting her go.  I was mostly upset, because I was thinking about how no matter how safely I drove, Sarah and Jakob were still vulnerable, because I can't control the idiocy of others.  I have been bothered on and off about this for the last two weeks.  I have thought about it, dreamed about, and prayed about it.

Yesterday afternoon, I received a voice mail from a man in Georgia.  He got my name and phone number from the 911 call.  He started out by giving his name, telling me how he got my information, and telling me that his daughter was the driver of the BMW.  My stomach immediately turned over.  He didn't sound too old, so if his daughter was driving, my mind immediately decided she would be an older teenager.  I was relieved, however, by the statement immediately following: "...that was my BMW, and my daughter was driving.  She's okay.  She wasn't hurt."  What a relief!  He needed to talk to me about his insurance company, who needs to speak with me about what happened.  I can rest more easily tonight, because I know the person who I thought was seriously hurt or possibly dead is, in fact, just fine.  And although I'd been pretty aggravated for having felt my time was wasted that day, it turns out it was not.  My testimony to the insurance company will help out the family that owns the BMW.  Without it, the insurance company may not have covered the cost of fixing the car.  So the guy I spoke with today was extremely grateful for what he viewed as my selfless pursuit of justice.  I'm still not sure if it was selfless or selfish anger over what could have happened to us.  Either way, it all worked out, and the ending was much greater than the lead-in.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

baggage wrap up

Chris Johnson taught youth group for the first time Sunday night.  That just gets me all fired up.  I'm not really the leader who wants to do everything.  I receive a lot of joy seeing my leaders excel as they stretch themselves and take on new things.  So Sunday night was big for me.  I loved it, and he really did a great job.

After Chris' lesson, I gave a mini lesson, as well.  It wasn't to reinforce his lesson, for it stood on its own, but rather to wrap up the series that we'd been working through for the Summer.  We finished Baggage by letting ours go with a cool little ceremony.  Below, you can watch Chris' lesson and our baggage releasing.

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/14589282]

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/14585821]

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

i bet God would like to smack His children, sometimes



The following post is written by Sarah.  You've heard of her, no?  If not, you have never had a conversation with me, read my blog, or surveyed my tweets.

something i've noticed as a parent is that Jakob loves to test me. he will go to do something he knows is wrong, and he will give me this sly look and a smile, as if to say "i know i shouldn't be doing this, but i know my big brown eyes and smile are my get-out-of-jail-free card".
puppy eyes

there is a metal tray [with 2 handles, on short legs <-- important details c:] on our end table which has 3 decorative balls, a metal cross, a red wooden plate, and a small vase on it. oh, and a small handful of black rocks. most of which, i've put elsewhere because someone likes to put said rocks into his mouth. ahh, teething. what Jakob views as a sanction to put the ok, the bad, and the ugly into his mouth.

alas.

anyway. i also am currently stashing a few writing utensils, gum, and a small pad of chartreuse, lined sticky notes in this tray - things that i used to keep in my purse. things he loves to play with, and is familiar with, since one of his proficiencies is rifling through my purse and throwing my pursey things on the floor. now, he doesn't know the difference, and i feel bad that there iS a difference, but the things on this metal tray are off limits. so i don't want him to throw these things onto the floor, and most likely, behind the couch. so when he goes to play with these things, i get after him. i sternly tell him no. many times. telling him no. giving him light swats on the leg. swats that, with the absence of my stern voice, have no effect on him. referring to the aforementioned sly look and smile, he knows that what he's doing is wrong for him; something he knows i do not want him to do. but why does he do it. not because he wants to get in trouble. not because he likes to be gotten after. not because he doesn't know any better. but because he can't fight the temptation. don't misunderstand. i'm not implying that my son is willfully sinning in front [or behind] me. but after 3 "no"s from mama to stop doing something he knows is something i don't want him to do, he is disobeying me. now, not in regards to the tray, of course, but he does not currently know that some of what he adventures to do, could hurt him. he does not yet understand danger. one of the freakiest parts of parenthood. he does not understand why i get after him, but he knows that he's in trouble. he knows that he shouldn't be doing whatever. but he can't resist.

i bet it totally frustrates God that we keep doing the same dumb things. that He tells us no, time after time, and sometimes has to smack us across the face [mind you, i do NOT, and never will do that to Jakob]. but the things we love the most, sometimes, are the things that can hurt us the most. the things that we fall into are the things that satan opens up and puts in front of us - knowing we'll jump right in. knowing that we'll go after it, time after time, even after our Father gets after us for it, for our own good.

but, really. you must understand it's so hard to punish ^ these ^ eyes.

Friday, August 27, 2010

our first i love you

"Never tell a girl you love her unless you intend to marry her." That was a piece of unsolicited advice my dad gave me when I was still too afraid of girls to even ask one on a date.  It is solid advice, too.  I hear a lot of "I love you's" exchanged by young couples - or at least, "I love him/her" - and although I believe the intention is good, I'm sure it is not the best thing to be saying.  To many, saying those words is the only way to verbally describe their affection for their boyfriend/girlfriend.    Then you see on facebook that this person went from being in a relationship to single, no longer with the one they loved with their whole heart, but do not lose hope, because in a week, their status will change back.  They'll have a new bf/gf, and they will love that person with all of their heart, too.  Apparently love is on clearance and worth less than it used to be.  It seems to be nothing more than cheap words offered anytime one might lack anything else to say.  And though saying, "I love you," to someone can be an easy, meaningless expression of your like, it often means a lot more to the person receiving the faux affection.  When you say it without meaning it and withdraw the statement at a later date, it hurts (so I hear.  I've never been dumped, because no one wanted to date weird old me until Sarah).  That is why my dad said it.  I vaguely remember him following this with a threat related to if we ever broke a girl's heart.  He meant it.

This line of thinking and upbringing had a direct effect on my dating relationship with Sarah.  No one threatened her about breaking my heart.  Therefore, she told me that she loved me not too long into our dating relationship.  It was on a Sunday afternoon, and we had only been dating for about a month.  We were at church, before service started, hanging out with our friends in the auditorium.  Yes, we were that cool and social.  I don't remember what instigated it, but Sarah looked right at me and said, "I love you."  Instincts told me to say, "I love you, too."  I wanted to say it.  My emotions told me it was okay, but my brain was in control at the moment.  It had been trained, and it was in control of what would be said if I opened my mouth.  It all went by so quickly, but it felt like an eternity of analysis and internal debate.  I had to hurry up and respond.  I couldn't just leave her hanging, so I blurted out my reply: "Thank you."  All of our friends heard it.  A hush swept over the crowd.  It was the single most rude exchange they had witnessed.  Would she slap me in the face?  Run out crying?  Break up with me on the spot?  I had considered all of those reactions during my internal debate, but I could not get myself to say what I should not say.  And guess what!  She was totally cool with it, albeit slightly confused and amused.

I have told Sarah many times since then that I love her.  I have meant it every time, and it is special every time.  You never get a redo on your firsts, though, and our first "I love you," was one-sided and met only with sincere gratitude.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

howie hepter



My dad is a funny guy.  His humor can sometimes be inappropriate.  Therefore, I blame him for anything funny I've ever said that offends you.  I've inherited it.  My mom hasn't always been impressed with his jokes, and one could hardly blame her.  She left her full time job when my brother Steve was born to work full time as a stay at home mom.  She would spend 8 hours teaching us the right way to behave, and when Dad got home, he undid all of her hard work.  I anticipate frustrating Sarah in much the same way.

You might have picked up the fact that I am of Jewish heritage.  I get that from my mom's side.  My dad is primarily of German heritage, but not fully German, leaving me mostly Jewish.  This is a great combination and has lent itself to many inappropriate jokes on my dad's behalf.  I think all of his favorite jokes are anti-Semitic in nature, not because he doesn't love Jews, but because he loves hassling my mom just about more than anything in the whole world.  Mom just ignores him.  Although Mom is not offended, she is neither impressed nor amused by his jokes.

One of Dad's shining moments happened when my brother Dan and I were toddlers.  He thought it would be a good idea to teach us to throw our hand up in Nazi salute and say, "Heil Hitler!"  I was a family embarrassment.  At the age of 2, I could not get the words right.  I tried my best.  My hand would go up, but all that would come out of my mouth was, "Howie Hepter!"  I was a real let down, not for lack of effort.  Dan, however, had it down.  This might be the only arena in which he ever showed an advanced nature.  That's probably not true, but most of our childhood fights came from comments like this, so for old times sake, I must insinuate that I am smart and he is not.  He may punch me in the face when I see him next month as a result.  Anyway, Dan had it down.  As any child, he would randomly stand up and do what he knew was funny, seeking laughter of approval from onlooking adults.  What he knew was funny, though, wasn't funny in every situation...or neighborhood.

One day, my mom decided to pick up some delicious kosher treats from a Jewish delicatessen.  I know for sure that Dan was there.  I don't know if I was.  I would have been too young to remember the awesomeness that was about to occur.  So they are walking through the store, Dan sitting up in the front of the cart, when Dan decided it was time to invoke laughter from the adults.  He stood up in the cart, threw his hand in the air, and with perfect clarity shouted, "Heil Hitler!"  My mom immediately grabbed him and ran, crying, from the store.  As many times as I've heard the story, I've never heard anything about any of the Jewish people laughing.  And I thought we were supposed to be a people with a great sense of humor.

The story stands as one of my dad's crowning achievements.  He probably wasn't allowed to think it was funny for a while, but at this point, time and space have added to its level of funny.  Everyone in the family laughs at the story.  You know who is only hesitantly amused, though?  Sarah.  She's only hesitantly amused, because it's funny that it happened back then, but it won't be funny if it happens with her son in the next couple of years.  I mean, he already throws a wave that looks like a heil five, and that amuses both of us, but if he ever says those words, it will cease to amuse her.  I think he'll be okay with "howie hepter," since no one ever really knew what I was saying, but he can't say the mother of all HH salutes.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

to Florida and back: a hobbit-ish guy's tale

We just returned from Jacksonville, FL, a place we have not visiting since moving away two years ago.  We lived there for four years, and I think I was too busy to realize how great it is there.  We saw a lot of friends we've missed, experienced some firsts for Jakob, melted a little bit in the heat, and visited our old church.   All in all, we had a great time.  I will merely give you the highlights, because the trip was a long one, full of great stuff, and I hardly remember it all.  It was a blur.

Exciting Stuff

We made the 18 hour drive down to Florida in 21 hours, with only 4 minutes of fussing from Jakob.  Not too shabby for an 11-month old baby on his first long car ride.

It was great living with Chadwick and Sarah (or as Jakob shall call them, "Uncle Chadcakes and Aunt Sarah") for the week.  It's been just over a year since we saw them last.  They put us up in the World Golf Village and stayed there, as well.

We spent our anniversary with many from our old youth group.  That was awesome and weird at the same time.  The senior high is entering college and the junior high have grown up so much.  Most that were shorter than me when I left have surpassed me.  One remains shorter than me.  They were locked in time in my brain, not having grown up at all, but reality hit me when we saw them.

When we lived in Florida, I had a shadow.  His name is Jackson.  He was in our youth group, a student at the school attached to the church, and at everything we ever organized.  That means I saw him more than I saw Sarah.  It seems we went everywhere together, always with me driving.  He just got a truck, though, so he gave me a ride to Wal-Mart, just like the good old days, just with the roles reversed.

Sarah and I got to have lunch with Shane and Karen.  I spent much of my work week with them while I was there, so it was awesome for me.  Shane came and visited us for his birthday last year, when we lived in Ohio.

Sarah bought me a new pair of Vans from the Vans outlet store.  I don't skate, but I select my shoes based on two criteria: I like the way they look, and they are wide enough for my wide feet.

We went to Gator's for all you can eat wings with the Lockleys and the Hotts, except the service was so slow that all I could eat was down from 30 to only 15.

Our last night there, we went to Moon River Pizza with the Lockleys, our good friends the Maynards, Daniel Spell (perhaps the most fun person ever to hassle), Bora and Lynn.  They have the best pizza I've ever had (sorry, Chris!).

Jakob's firsts

It was Jakob's first long car trip and first time in Florida.

He tried Chik-Fil-A and southern barbecue for the first time.  He's a big fan.

He had a song composed and performed (many times) for him by his Aunt Sarah.  I think it's called, "Best Friends."

Jakob's been saying," hi," and waving for about a month now.  He had not waved goodbye or said it before Friday morning.  Uncle Chadwick waved to him and said, "goodbye," and Jakob waved back.  As we were driving away to start our trek home, he was still waving and saying, "ba-ba.  ba-ba."

Scary Moments

I had two scary moments, both while driving, and both while Sarah was sleeping.  One happened on the way down, and one on the way up.  First, the scary moment on the way down.

I was on 77-S, in South Carolina, about 15 minutes from merging onto 26-E.  I was coming up on a semi, but I noticed him swerving a lot, so I stayed back some.  He was consistently drifting right, hitting the rumble strip, and then coming back.  Sometimes he would ride the rumble strip for several seconds at a time.  His driving was quite erratic, and I suspect he was drifting in and out of sleep.  I can't say for sure, but I kept my distance to be safe.  He got so close to the guard rail so many times, and I was worried about his losing control.  Being 2 AM, my theory seemed conceivable.  This wasn't as scary as the moment that happened on the way home, though.

We were headed back a different way that we came.  At about 4:30 PM, we were on 75-N, driving through Forsyth, GA.  The speed limit was 65.  I was in no hurry to get to Atlanta during rush hour, so I wasn't going much more than that.  Obviously, I stayed out of the left lane, because smart people do not drive in the left lane at slower speeds (5 over is a slower speed, in case you were wondering).  The lady in the Kia Sorento behind me didn't like that fact, so she tailgated me for a few miles.  She finally decided she should pass me, but she didn't check her blind spot.  As she was getting over to the right, a BMW was coming up her side.  He swerved to the next lane - the far right lane - to avoid contact with her.  Unfortunately, there was a semi there, and he didn't have time to stop.  He ended up going off the road into the grass, and then he disappeared.  He went down a grass hill and was gone.  I couldn't get over there, but others did and stopped to help.  I was watching him and the Kia driver the whole time.  She seemed to be aware of what she had done, based on the look on her face and her breaking when the guy went off the highway.  She had indecision on her face.  She didn't know what to do.  Then she decided to floor it.  Having a strong sense of justice, I called 911 and took off after her.  I got on her tail to get her tag.  She went to the next exit and got off, so I followed her.  I didn't want her slipping away.  She got on a road that ran parallel to 75 and had a 60 MPH speed limit.  She's very tricksy, but I was determined.  I stayed on her tail while talking to 911 operators.  After a 20-minute excursion, they found where we were and pulled her over.  You know what the worst part was?  A county cop pulled her over, but he's not from the county she committed her infraction in.  He couldn't do anything, but he did tell me he'd give her a talking to.  The other county will be coming for her, though.  I don't doubt that.  I guess his not doing anything saved me hours of talking at the time, so we could get home.  That whole experience shook me up.  I don't think the guy died or even got hurt too severely, based on the conversations I heard in the background while I was on the phone with 911.  He could have, though, and that had me pretty freaked out for a bit.

Food tour

We had a list of places we needed to eat at while we were there.  Here's the list (and we hit them all):

  • Chik-Fil-A

  • Sonny's

  • Whataburger

  • Chik-Fil-A

  • Gator's Dockside

  • Moon River Pizza

  • Publix (it's a grocery story, but they have the best subs in their deli and Sarah's favorite bakery)

  • Chik-Fil-A


All in all, it was the best trip we've taken.  It's the first vacation we've taken since 2003.  We had used all of our vacation time coming home, seeing everyone we're related to and some we are not over the last several years.  We were always more tired when we got back.  It's nice seeing family, but I much prefer seeing them all the time and vacationing somewhere else when we get the chance.  Sarah took a ton of pictures.  If you're her friend on facebook, you can see them, since she's uploaded them already.