Model Behavior

Jakob is starting to act like me.  I know that scares many of you.  I think it frightens his mom a little.  He likes to copy things that I am doing, both while I am doing them and later when he remembers.  Sarah had caught him taking my watch and putting it on his arm and walking around with it.  That doesn't happen anymore, because he ended up breaking it, but hey, it was cute.  Earlier this week, he saw me wearing a necklace made by the one and only Tim Johnson of the Comstock Johnsons, and he started pulling at it.  I took it off, and he tried putting it over his head.  I helped.  After he put it on, he started running around and acting generally silly.  He was acting like me.

I haven't taken the time to teach Jakob to mimic all of my actions.  I probably wouldn't want to teach him to do that.  I don't sit down and show him my hats and tell him to put them on.  He does these things on his own, because he has seen me do them a number of times.  He walks like me.  He "talks" like me (which means he's loud).  He's my son, and he's a picture of me.

What does that mean for me and my behavior?  What should it mean?  Well, I want to be like Christ, but I notice that I take it more seriously now.  I want him to see me being like Him.  I read my Bible at home.  I am more conscious of what I watch on TV.  I am careful of what I say in front of him.  When he acts like me, I want him to be acting like Jesus.

Who looks up to you?  Who follows you?   Your children, your friends, your classmates, your co-workers?  If they were to spend an average day living like you, would they be spending a day living like Jesus?  Anything but an absolute YES! should drive us to reconsider how we do things.

God's Schedule is Better than Mine

May and June are very busy months for me, so unlike most months, I have a good idea of when I'll be away from the office. I feel like I spend equal time in and out of the office sometimes, which I don't like.

We have a fundraiser this weekend and a big youth event next weekend. One thing I needed was new dodgeballs, because the ones we had were old and ratty before I came, but it hasn't been a priority. The time has come to replace them, though, so I planned to go today. I was minutes from leaving when things changed.

Joyce came to my office with a man from Celebrate Recovery. He wanted to have a serious discussion with one of the pastors, and I was the only one there. I am probably third in line for this kind of thing, unless it's a student or parent. But there I was, the only one available. I was nervous, because his problems weren't going to be within my normal field. I was also unhappy that my plans were changing, because I had the rest of my week planned out.

We talked for nearly two hours. Actually, he talked for about 100 minutes of it. He had a story, and he needed someone to hear him. So I listened. One thing that bothered me was when he looked me in the eye and told me in all sincerity that he was going to go to Hell, and nothing would change that. He had seen, done, and knew too much to be forgiven.

It's a good thing God's schedule superseded my schedule yesterday, because my new friend knows now that he's going to Heaven. We looked at some verses in the Bible and talked about what they meant for him. I asked if he believed, and he did. He wanted to pray. So we did. I'll see him again next week. This time will be different. It will be better. I'll see him Tuesday, unless if course, God's schedule changes mine again.

My Saturday with Jakob

I don't know if most of you know this, but there is something called a post preaching hangover. It takes a lot of energy and emotion. If you preach at night, the next morning is a bit of a drag. My Monday mornings start out with this feeling every week. Saturday was the same, since I preached on Good Friday, but there would be no rest.

Sarah had Easter choir practice, so it was me and Jakob. We hung out for a couple hours. Here is a pictorial account of our day.

He never said He wouldn't give us too much to handle

If you spend much time around Christians, whether it's in person or on the interwebs, you would know that being a Christian doesn't mean your life is easy.  It can be downright difficult, even for a Christian.  Bad circumstances happen, and sometimes bad things come in bunches.  You probably also know the old saying, "...but I know everything will be okay, because God never gives us more than we can handle."  Whether you know the saying or not, you should totally disregard it.  Even if you just read it for the first time, and you thought, "Hey, I like that, and it's so comforting to know," you should still fogettaboudit, because it's not true.  Does it have a Biblical basis?  Kind of, but it's a verse that's misquoted, and I'm writing about it.  Of course, I think God provides the grace necessary to get through any situation, but that seems to happen when we find ourselves in a situation that we cannot handle.  So He handles it.

So where does this phrase come from?  It's loosely based on 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says, "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."  When we say that God won't give us more than we can handle, it is only a half truth.  First of all, in the case of temptation, God doesn't give us temptation.  He allows it, but He does not give it.   Secondly, this verse has nothing to do with life's many circumstances that we have to handle.

Case and point: Job.  Read the entire book of Job and get back to me on whether God will give you more than you can handle.  Did Job handle his situation well?  Spiritually, most of the time, but otherwise, he was a bit of a mess.  He sat in ashes and mourning scraping puss from his arms.  He got mad at God there for a second, didn't he?  He cracked under the pressure, because he couldn't handle it.  By the end of the book, life was resolved, but he wasn't handling his business throughout the whole story.

What God does offer is sufficient grace for the worst of circumstances.  We cannot handle everything we encounter, because we are weak.  Thank God, He is strong and His strength is made more obvious in our weakness.  There have been times in my life that I was ready to quit, because I couldn't handle my circumstances.  After some battling, I let God take over.  Guess what!  He didn't fix everything.  He just kept me from being consumed by it.  You see, God's "handling it" doesn't always mean He fixes whatever you're going through.  In 2 Corinthians 12, the chapter where "My grace is sufficient" comes from, Paul asked God three times to fix an area of his life.  God said, "No, but I'll help you get through it."

Do not lose heart when you go through the hardest of trials.  Do not lose faith when God doesn't just fix it, despite your earnest pleading with Him.  Learn contentment in all circumstances, just as Paul talked about in Philippians 4.  I'm saying this as someone who's still trying to get there.  I'm not claiming to have mastered my attitude, but I'm hoping I can parrot Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:10 at some point:

"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I want to be Jakob's friend, but not right away

I have a lot of friends.  I mean a lot.  Seriously, I have way more than 10 friends, and everyone knows that when you get to "way more than 10," we are talking big numbers here.  Most of my closest friends are related to me.  Does Sarah count as being related to me now that we're married?  It sounds weird if you say, "My wife and I are related," so I'm going to say that she's not, because she's not related like that.  My parents forced friendships between their children when we were younger, and although that was not lauded by any of us when we were younger and fighting a lot, I love that they did that now.  My siblings are now four of my closest friends.  You know who two of my very best friends are?  My mom and dad.  I love them.  I like to talk to them on the phone, spend time at their house, go out to eat with them, or whatever.  I just love being around my parents.  They are my close friends, but they weren't always.

When I was younger, I said something stupid to my mom.  I don't remember what it was, and you would think that I would, because it only happened that one time.  She got pretty upset with me.  I didn't know what the problem was, though, because I didn't say anything that I saw as rude.  I defended myself by saying, "I talk to all of my friends that way."  She said, "I'm not your friend.  I'm your mom.  You show me more respect than you show your friends."  I remember where in the house I was when this happened.  I know I was in seventh grade.  I don't know what started the conversation, but I will always remember the ending.

Some of you might think that my mom was mean for saying that to me.  Shouldn't she have been my mom and my friend?  Well, I didn't cry, and I was known for crying back then when my feelings were hurt, so I guess it didn't hurt my feelings.  It solidified in my mind how I was supposed to treat my parents differently and speak differently to them than I would one of my peers.  They weren't my peers.  It taught me a valuable life lesson that stuck.  So no, my mom wasn't being mean, she was being my mom.  She was parenting me.  She chose to put me in my place and say the hard thing rather than be my buddy and make me happy.

I'm going to have to do the same thing.  I will have to make the difficult decision over the next several years to be at odds with Jakob at various times, because I'm his parent, not his friend.  He'll know that I love him, that he can have fun with me, and that he can come to me - just as I knew that about my parents - but he will also know that he has to listen to me, respect me, and treat me differently than his peers.  Someday, I hope that Jakob and I have the same relationship that I have with my parents.  I hope that we are close friends, who can laugh about the strange things I did as his parent and the weird things he did as my son.  I hope we can be as close as two people that are 27 1/2 years apart can be, but I think that's going to take me being his parent first, not his friend.

On a side note, three of my best friends have birthdays today.  So happy birthday to my sister, Lisa, my brother from another mother, Josh, and Amy, who I don't have a cool nickname for.

The Awakening (book review)

The Awakening, by Stovall Weems, is one of the better books I've received to review lately.  There were times when I was reading it and thought, "I know, I know.  I'm where you're talking about right now.  Where were you three years ago when I needed to hear this more than ever?"  The answer to that question is actually, "Five miles away."  I lived five miles from the church that Stovall Weems pastors, and I wish I had had the opportunity to learn under him when I lived so close.  Perhaps my venture back into spiritual freedom and an exciting relationship with Christ wouldn't have taken so long.

This book is the perfect read for someone who  finds himself in a spiritual funk.  If you are finding it hard to rekindle your relationship with God - and be honest with yourself: we all have or are going through this - then you should take action.  This book helps give you practical tips for taking action and being intentional in your relationship with God.

As I read through the first half of the book, I felt like it was addressing old needs of mine.  You know how that is, right?  Thinking something doesn't apply to you anymore and you don't need to hear it again.  I'll admit that as I read it, I felt this way at times.  But if I applied everything I already knew, God wouldn't have to keep reminding me through books like this, would He?  I got to the part on fasting, and this is where things changed.  I haven't fasted in a while, and the last couple times I tried, I was unsuccessful.  Not spiritual enough, you say?  Perhaps.  Maybe I wasn't fasting the right way, though.  As I read through his tips on proper fasting and finding your own fasting zone, I felt like God was tugging on my heart.  I felt Him saying, "See?  You can fast.  You just don't get fasting."  I feel like I do understand it much more now, and I'm going to take back up that spiritual practice.  I'll be going on a fast on...just kidding.  I'm not going to tell you.

Here's the most profound thing that occurred to me while reading this book.  It's about fasting.  As Christians, we qualify fasts.  My understanding growing up was this: you can fast (just water, nothing else), or you can do a type of fast (juice fast, Daniel fast, etc).  These are not as extreme, and therefore take less faith and are less rewarding.  So when I would fast, I'd go for the big hit.  Then Stovall pointed out that the Bible says that Daniel fasted, and then it explained his fast.  Daniel did not go on a Daniel fast.  He fasted.  His fasting looked differently than Jesus' wilderness fast, but he fasted, and you can, too.  I suggest picking up a copy of this book and learning how to do that.

P.s.  If any of my Kalamazoo friends want this book, you can have it.  First person to tell me they want it gets it.